Cold Showers
by pettydetails
Summary: Bella is a virgin, everyone else isn't. Edward isn't a virgin but he's not completely obsessed with sex either. When they both meet sparks fly instantly sending both on a journey of sexual proportions.
1. Cold Showers

**CHAPTER 1 - Cold Showers**

**BPOV**

Sex.

It was unavoidable. It was there.

It was the one thing holding me back from being just another teenage girl.

Everyone talked about it. Everybody was having it. Albeit, everyone but me. I hated talking about it because I didn't know what it was like although I had plenty of ideas. I couldn't avoid the topic either. Emmett was on me again with the sex talk he always found ways to shove into conversations. No matter how many times times I admitted, red-faced, that I was in fact a virgin it still haunted me. I'd never fully be one of them until I tried it.

"Can we please for once talk about something else? Isn't sex supposed to a way of expressing your love, not expressing what you can do to your love?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes at my comment and Alice shot me a sympathetic glance as Emmett's sexual inuendos rolled on in the daily conversation. Jasper tried to be neutral but the way Em and I went at it bickering was slightly entertaining. Reminding people of my virginity only worked to deter sexual conversation sometimes. Today, however, just wasn't my day.

Emmett had gotten started on one of his sexually implied rants after I seductively took a bite of my corndog. He knew sex pushed my buttons so the opportunity knocked to hard for him to avoid it. Who knew closing your eyes while you bit the tip of hotdog on a stick was so erotic? Who I was kidding? I set myself up for it whether I meant to or not. I mean, I always closed my eyes when I was savouring something. I mentally kicked myself in the ankles and sighed in exasperation as Emmett moved on to tell me that I would one day lose my virginity and I would love the heck out of it.

"You know Bella, you avoid it now but trust me when you finally let someone in," he smirked at yet another inuendo, "it will be like having a really really cold shower after you've showered in hot water for awhile"

I quirked my eyebrows at what cold showers had to do with sex and made to grab for my lunch tray.

_Gosh what a horny freak he turned out to be. _

"I'm sure you take cold showers every morning Emmett but really, you need to get a testosterone reduction."

A stifled chuckle ran threw the table as I pushed my chair back to leave. Jasper buried his face in Alice's neck to hide his laughter as a smile tugged at her lips. Rosalie just looked bored and redundent because Emmetts sexual banter was nothing new. She also knew what it was like to take really cold showers with him. Trust me, we all knew what it sounded like. As I went to turn away from the table I saw Emmett grin at my rebutle. He was boisterious and dirty minded but he was also my adopted brother. I left my tray with the rest on the garbage bin and took one last look at the table. They continued to pick at their food trays and make conversation. Watching the scene I couldn't help but reminisce about how we all came together.

I had lived back and forth between my mother Renee and my father Charlie but with mom living in Pheonix and Dad in Forks the travelling was getting to be a bit pricey. When I was five we decided I would stay in Forks with Charlie and spend two weeks at a time with Renee in Pheonix. I didn't mind much. You couldn't help but come to love Fork's rainy, overcast weather and green scenery. My father Charlie was a salt of the Earth kind of guy and if being the Chief of Police in Forks wasn't enough, he was also well-known for his foster parent status. We had kids coming in a out of our house my entire childhood. Eventually the strain of being a foster parent got to Charlie and he stopped taking in strays but not before Emmett and Alice permanently joined the Swan family. Emmett had been found alone in the mountains hiding from a black bear by a local hunter. Alice was abandoned after a serious accident and afterwards she couldn't remember much of her life before it happened. The courts sent both to live with us when we were all eight years old and we've been close ever since. Jasper and Rosalie, the Hale twins, lived right next door so we naturally spent a lot of time together raising hell in the neighbourhood. It wasn't much different now as the four of them, all coupled up now, one by one filed out from the cafeteria while I for some reason stood alone in front of the garbage can.

"Excuse me," spoke a soft velvety voice from behind me stirring me from my nostalgic relvery.

I hopped to the side and stared distractedly at the unfamilar face with the tousled bronze hair. And those eyes - topaz.

His cough broke my stare and I apologized, "my bad".

"It's all good." His voice was like velvet again as he continued, 'I'm Edward by the way. Edward Cullen."

Edward. Cullen. I regained my composure and began speaking again, "The new guy right? I almost forgot Forks High was getting a new student. I'm Bella."

Edward extended his hand in my direction and I took it instinctively expecting velvet but instead being met with a normal human hand with it's normal human temperature. I shook his hand with confidence but let my eyes linger on his face. His features were so defined and caught the light at the most perfect angle and my breath hitched as I continued staring.

_Where did this guy come from? A catalogue for male perfection?_

I could feel heat rising from my neck up to my cheeks. I imagined them turning the faintest shade of pink.

"Nice to meet you Bella."

And with that and a crooked smile he turned to toss his garbage in the bin and leave the cafeteria. The heat was still rising in my cheeks and suddenly I was overcome with an overwhelming urge to take a really cold shower.

**EPOV**

Her cheeks were the faintest shade of pink but the colour tinge was there. It only highlighted her soft cheekbones and brought out her light brown eyes.

Her name was Bella.

I dropped the garbage from my tray into the bin and walked away hoping silently this wouldn't be our only encounter. I kept hoping inwardly when I heard a high pitched voice ring with my name. My eyes followed the sound to Jessica Stanley who stood in all her curly hair glory waiting at the doors to exit the cafeteria.

"Edward come on! I'll walk you to biology." she sang as I walked nearer to the crowd. Eric had his arm around Angela while Mike and Tyler lingered behind them pretending to stick their fingers down their throat in a faux barfing motion. Eric and Angela were a very lovey dovey kind of couple and sometimes it was a little too smothering.

Jessica tugged at my elbow as I pumped fists with the guys in farewell sending a small smile in the couple's direction as I reluctantly followed Jessica.

My parents and I moved to Forks a week ago after my dad accepted a job at the local hospital. To everyone in Forks he was Dr. Carlisle Cullen but at home he was simply Carlisle. Esme, my step-mom, was a warm loving woman who's knack for interior decorating was relevant wherever Carlilise wanted to move us. As the son of a local doctor my arrival had become fast spread news amoung the student body at the high school. Jessica was in four of my six classes while the others had one or two with me. This, I felt, suited Jessica just fine but I wasn't sure if I was up to all the attention. They all seemed nice enough but there were all obsessed with the same thing - sex.

Sex.

There wasn't one moment where someone didn't say or do something that could be construde as sexual. I had gone through the paces and had sex but I never saw the complete and utter fascination with it. I was a normal teenager with normal hormone levels who didn't constantly fantasize or converse about sexual intercourse.

Maybe I wasn't so normal after all.

**BPOV**

I left for Biology after leaving Rosalie and Emmett to grope each other at the lockers. Telling them to get a room would be counter productive so I just huffed a small huff and shrugged off with Alice in tow. Jasper had given her a fleeting kiss on the cheek goodbye before making his way to his next class. I could stand being with Alice and Jasper together as a couple. Jasper was always considerate of my aversion to PDA and all that other stuff. He really knew how to make me feel comfortable and that was what I liked best about him.

Alice walked with me in the same direction for awhile before noticing my spaced out expression.

"Earth to Bella." No answer. "Hello?....Bella.." she snapped her fingers in my face.

"What?" I answered her impatience.

"Where did you go there for a minute?" I could tell Alice knew that look on my face but also recognized it's unfamilar place on my face.

I turned to her squeezing my arm tighter in hers as we walked in sync down the hall.

"Sorry Al. I was just thinking. Were you saying something?" I tried to change the subject.

"You sure Bells? because if I'm not mistaken I think sweet virginal Bella was daydreaming about not so virginal things." She winked.

My face began to heat up.

"Actually, I was remembering something," I nudged her in the ribs lightly. "Why is everyone so quick to assume all day dreams are sexual?"

Of course, I knew the answer but Alice always knew the way to answer me without completely making me feel like an inexperienced teenage girl with normal hormone levels who didn't havethe constant need for sexual fulfilment. I mean of course I thought about it, even considered it but in reality I had no idea where to even start.

I could hear Alice breathe in before she answered me.

"Well for one, day dreaming about sex usually takes up a lot of energy, hence the spaced out expression and two, your so anti sex people think it's fun to believe you've crossed over into unknown territory."

I had to admit she was kind of right but there was no way I was going to admit my lack of sexual anything - including the female orgasm - and be late for Biology at the same time. My issues with my own personal Area 51 and my libido were going to have to wait. Now it was time for Bio.

Alice left me at the door to class with a triumphant smile as she danced off into the distance. I swivled into class with a bit of a slouch. Sex sex sex sex sex. All of it, it all wore me out sometimes. I knew more about sex than I cared to know but in none of the ways I should.

I was lost in my thoughts again heading to my seat when I noticed the usually empty seat beside mine was occupied. I followed the torso to the face it belonged to and was taken aback. Those topaz eyes were staring back at me. Edward Cullen was in my Bio class sitting in the not-so-empty-anymore seat beside mine. If fate gave me anything, this was it.

I smiled a small smile and hopped on the stool laying my books on the desk. Biology usually was a major snore fest but I had an inkling today things would be different.

"Fancy meeting you here" Edward almost sang. I blinked twice before getting grip enough to answer.

"Yeah really huh. How is your first day going?" I all but croaked out.

"It's getting better" he smiled and there it was, that crooked smile.

Heat rose in my cheeks and I felt them turning a darker shade of pink. Again, my breath hitched as I reached to open my notebook stealing sideway glances at my new lab partner.

I spent the rest of the class averting my gaze from the rest of his body. The shirt Edward wore was tight enough to sculpt his figure and I had zero complaints about that. My palms began to sweat lightly as tried putting images I'd heard of sex together with images of Edward together. I'm not sure if it was working but I would not have complained if someone decided to throw a bucket of ice water at me in that very moment.

Suddenly, when I stole a glance in his direction I noticed a change in his body. I scanned over Edward and saw his fists clenched into tight balls, the material of his shirt strained against his muscles and he was angled away from me. What was wrong with him?

**EPOV**

My first day of school and one of the most embarassing things to happen to a teenage boy was happening to me right now.

_I had a boner. My dick was hard and there was no relief until I was home safe in my bedroom where I could release the tension._

How was I going to hide the thing until I was safely hidden in my car? The distance from here to the parking lot seemed like miles and I drew a breath of air in to calm myself.

My reflex reaction was to angle my body away from Bella just slightly so she wouldn't be able to see. It felt rude but that was better than embarassed at this point.

I clenched my fists into balls, my knuckles going white with the pressure. My whole body tensed as I pictured dirty diapers and insects in an attempt to surpress my teenage hormones. Everything within me tried to think clearly, to think rationally. After a few moments I decided to quickly look over and see if she suspected anything.

I could tell she had by the tension in her brows. They were furrowed together as her eyes darted over me and back to her books quickly.

I didn't want to be rude but I had to stay as calm as possible.

What I needed was for the damn bell to ring so I could get out of this place.

I needed to be home.

I needed a shower now. Badly.


	2. Warm Baths

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.  
**Rating:** M - there's a lot of sex talk and smut to come.  
**Summary:** Bella is a virgin, everyone else isn't. Edward isn't a virgin but he's not completely obsessed with sex either. When they both meet sparks fly instantly sending both on a journey of sexual proportions.

_**A/N: **__To the reviewers, thanks so much for your lovely comments. This being my first fic it makes me feel accomplished that people are enjoying my work. Hopefully I can keep it going for you all :)_

_BPOV is huge in this chapter_ _but I needed to get all of this stuff out there now._

**CHAPTER 2 - Warm Baths**

**EPOV**

The warm water massaged at the yearning in all of my muscles as my hand focused on one very obvious one at the moment. I leaned my back against the cold tile shivering at the touch at first but gradually settling in as it warmed against my skin. My left hand grabbed hold of the handle to the shower door and I planted myself firmly and got as comfortable as was possible. Once I was completely positioned my right hand resumed it's process of rubbing up and down my boner of shame a little tighter and picking up speed. This damn hard-on almost completely sabatoged my first day at my new school and definitely put a dent in Bella's opinion of me that much I could tell.

The thought of Bella and her pale smooth skin and light brown eyes sent my hand into overdrive. When she sat next to me in Bio I thought fate had rewarded me for being such a good sport about the move. My fist pumped harder as I went on imagining Bella doing things in place of my hand and I groaned into the thought. With harder and faster strokes my body fell into a rhythm of movement as my mind fluttered with the pleasure.

"Fuck." I moaned as my hand gripped even righter around my size as it glided up and down with ease. It felt so fucking good.

Even if this boner was a boner of shame, it didn't mean I couldn't enjoy it just a bit.

I rocked my hips along with the movement of my hands making small audible murmurs from my throat. I thought of every sexual thing I could; blonde bimbos in porn movies, my own sexual encounter with Tanya and of course Bella.

I pumped and pumped and could feel the pleasure curl my toes under my body as my muscles prepared to spring from pleasure. Everything grabbed for more traction as my hand worked furiously to finish.

By this point I wasn't thinking coherently at all. My brain was full of lust and pleasure so completely and I stifled moan after moan so it wouldn't be heard over of the low rumble of music _**You are the one by Shiny Toy Guns**__ I think it was_ I had playing outside the shower.

Pump after pump brought me closer. My dick was sensitive to every touch and trembled under my hand with each pull up or down and back again. I slowed my rhythm to enjoy the feel of my hand wrapped around my length with the warm water rushing over every inch of my skin.

Finally the pleasure was too much and I pumped with no restraint groaning with every pull until I came against the shower wall, my whole body constricted with orgasm until lulling into pleasure filled convulsions. The warm water felt cooler against my skin as the effort made me sweat besides the heat. I cautiously gripped for the water tap while my hand soothed my cock. I turned the tap to cold and let all my release out once again as the freezing water made my muscles tighten then relax. What was it about cold showers and orgasms that were so much alike?

Before I finished with my coverup shower I let my breathing even. I let all the jelly in my body go away before I stepped out _as __**I like to Fuck by Hot Rod and Tila Tequila**__ played_.

_Remind me to thank Mike for adding that gem to my ipod_

That was exactly what I needed.

**BPOV**

I let the warm water surround me and I nestled more comfotably into the tub. My eyes closed as I savoured the feeling of relief flow through my body. I wiggled my toes under the water and shook out my limbs gently not to disturb the water too much.

With my eyes closed I immediately pictured the scene in biology. How Edward's body twisted away from me, how his fists were balled with tension and his eyes were locked on the front of the class avoiding me. None of it made sense. Edward and I seemed to be hitting it off well.

_What is wrong with me? _

Was I not pretty enough? I had seen Edward leave the cafeteria with Jessica Stanley and her crew. Stanley must have loved that, every other boy in school flocked to her and her curls. Maybe Edward wasn't any different. Edward probably loved the attention he was getting from her.

I suddenly felt really inferior.

There was no way to deny that I lacked sex appeal. I did spend a lot of time avoiding the topic. Alice and Rosalie certainly reeked of sex appeal with their tight clothes, cleavage bearing shirts and overall general sexual confidence. They did have two of the most good looking boys in all of Forks. What they didn't have was Edward.

I subconciously slicked my hair and followed the movement to trace over my entire body.

It couldn't be that I was ugly. My hands cupped over my breasts which I felt were a substantial size for my age and, from what I heard, it was also a good thing for normal teenage boys my age. For awhile longer I poked and prodded myself in the tub before realizing my hands were turning into prunes and got out.

I dried myself haphazardly and stopped in front of my full length mirror.

_Hmmmm._

The towel fell to the floor and I glared at my reflection. For one of the first times ever I stared at my naked reflection in scruitny. The poking and prodding resumed as I squinted and grimaced trying to find my sex appeal.

And then I wondered why sex appeal mattered so much now.

Why was I so concerned with sex appeal now when I spent so much time not talking about sex?

Nothing came at first but I as reached down to pick up my towel I caught a glimpse of my eyes in the mirror and I was thinking about Edward's topaz stare again.

Then I thought about Edward's topaz stare turned into an ice cold glare in the other direction away from my prying eyes.

_Edward_.

He was the reason I was standing naked in front of a mirror pondering over my insecurities. What looked like a flat out rejection sent my mind into defense mode. If I was honest, I hadn't really ever been rejected before. The whole avoiding sex thing didn't do much to help with boys and relationships. As if any of the boys in town could actually be in a relationship with a girl without wanting sex. I scoffed at the thought and finished in the bathroom ready to go to sleep and confront Edward in the morning.

***

**EPOV**

Waking up for school the next morning I cringed. I grimaced at my morning wood which I knew had something to do about the dream I had last night involving Bella and whip cream. My hands ran through my bedhead hair as I shook off the sentiment. I majorly needed some time to cool off. Maybe Carlisle wouldn't mind if I missed a day or two of school to recover from my embarassment and maybe even give Bella some time to reconfigure her impression of me.

It sounded like a good idea.

Without changing from my pyjama's I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen where I knew my parents would be.

They were embracing when I coughed to get their attention. Reluctantly, Carlisle unwrapped his arms from Esme's waist and kissed her cheek then acknowledged my presence.

"Why aren't you dressed for school yet?" he asked looking me over in confusion.

"Oh, um, I'm not feeling too well today. I was hoping I could stay home maybe recuperate a little" I coughed again to strengthen my case and I caught the flicker of suspicison in Carlilse's eyes.

Esme crossed the room and placed her hand on my forehead. To my benefit my dreams from last night left a thin layer of sweat caked to my forehead. The feel of Esme's hand against the skin was cool and comforting. She was a natural mother which made it easier for me to accept her as part of the family. Her hand explored my forehead and she replied before an answer could escape Carlisle.

"Oh sweetie of course you can. Looks like you have a bit of a fever, you're sweating."

My eyes darted to Carlisle in hopes he would take her word for it and leave it be. If he decided to be a doctor now instead of a father I would be screwed.

And he believed her. Oh what the joys of love can give a child.

I hustled out of the kitchen without eating breakfast. I knew Esme would leave something for me if I wanted it later.

When I got to my room I mentally patted myself on the back. I laughed a smug laugh and crawled back into bed where I knew my dreams were waiting for me in the comfort - and privacy - of my own home.

"Ahhh". I sighed into my pillow as my cold hand reached into my boxers and curled itself around my cock.

Today I was going to spend the day as a normal teenager with normal hormones and fuck myself silly with my hand relieving me of this sexual thirst before facing Bella again.

**BPOV**

Emmett reached lower until his hand was resting on Rosalie's ass cheek. He gave it a little pinch then slid his hand into her back pocket. This time it was my turn to roll my eyes as I followed behind them. It was one downside of having a ratty old truck for a vehicle - it spent too much time in the shop and I was stuck riding to school with Emmett and his girlfriend.

A second later Alice and Jasper caught up with us and fell into sync beside me.

My eyes scanned the cafeteria until it found Stanley with her posse of horny fiends for friends but no sight of Edward. Was he not in school today?

Alice noticed the flicker of disappointment flash across my face and she buried me in conversation in what I guessed was her attempt at distracting me.

"Bella, you look like crap. Did you not sleep at all last night?" she sounded a bit more curious than worried.

I hadn't slept much. And I guessed it showed.

Avoiding embarrasement I shook off her worrry and attempted to throw off her curiousity. "No Al, I didn't get much sleep. Charlie was on an overnight work thing and these two rabbits went at it most of the night". I scowled in Emmett and Rosalie's direction.

Which was a half truth.

The rest of the truth, which I refused to admit in public, was I was attempting to get into the whole sex thing. It was awkward at first straining myself to hear my adopted brother and his girlfriend go at it but I boiled it down to it as simply a teenage expieriment and blocked out the noises as coming from people close to me as just sounds coming from two people. When it still got a little weird I remembered a conversation I had with Rosalie and Alice about some new vibrator one of them bought. I mean if they did that kind of stuff on their own there should be no shame in me trying it out.

My answer was enough to stall Alice a while longer letting me zone out from another one of Emmett's sexually advanced monologues after my comment egged him on. I wondered how Rosalie standed the way he talked about their sex life like it was no big deal but then again it was Rosalie - any attention was good attention.

"Since you bring it up, I might as well enjoy the compliment. It's not often you praise me for something I do so well." Emmett's ego continued.

I rested my head on my arms and stopped listening. My food tray sat untouched. I wasn't hungry today. I was too disappointed to think of eating.

_Last night was horrible. The single most awkward moment of my life. It made thinking about sex a lot easier to avoid._

I ran over last night in my head.

I had successfully blocked out Em and Rosalie's mumbled moans by putting in my headphones and turning on my ipod. I put it on shuffle and I settled in as _**sleep by the dandy warhols **_became background music to my thoughts.

"It couldn't be that hard to get myself off could it?: I had wondered.

The general idea wasn't hard to grasp but I had no clue where to start. My hand slid under my pyjama shorts and I caressed the outside of my pleasure spot through my panties slowly at first - curious. This was my first exploration to what I affectionately called Area 51 because it all seemed so mysterious to me.

At first it felt weird, unfamiliar but I applied a bit more pleasure becoming more comfortable as I rubbed myself. Feelings coursed through me I was sure I had never fully experienced before. Everything was so foreign to me as I ventured further and guided my hand and slipped them under my panties. The area was warm as my fingers did their exploring. As I expanded my area of exploration I noticed wetness growing between my thighs. My fingers caressed the spot and I immediately thought of Edward. When I lifted my hands I could feel the wetness was slick and kind of slimey. I wasn't sure if this turned me on more or if I should stop now. Was this normal? Then I remembered Rosalie saying something about Em making her real wet before they actually got to the sex thing. Was this what she meant?

_I had no idea but it felt so damn good._

My back arched with the pleasure and I softly hummed against my hand but I could feel myself peeking. Then something happened, the pleasure didn't get more exciting. Instead it stayed the same on a plateau of 'what do I do now?'. I wasn't getting anywhere that much I knew. I rubbed a little more furiously and put more pressure on my clitorious. It was supposed to be where the pleasure originated but nothing exciting happened after that. Sweat beaded my forehead more with frustration than actual pleasure.

I was fighting a losing battle and I wasn't winning tonight. I remembered hearing l_**et it be by the beatles **_admit my defeat before giving up and trying to sleep.

Alice nudged me in the ribs startling me from my very realistic memories. I must have been really caught up in my thoughts because when I looked up the whole table was staring at me.

I looked away redfaced and blushing. I must have been humming. And I was right.

"You were humming in your sleep." Alice confirmed, but I wasn't sleeping just remembering. "You alright Bells?"

"Just fine" I lied but she could tell. I grimaced at the rest of the table to stop staring and each darted their eyes in every which direction but mine. They weren't going to push it today, I was thankful for that.

Today was going to be a long day.

I leaned nochanlantly near Alice's ear and whispered.

"I'll tell you about it later" I promised.

***

School ended just in time. Edward never showed in biology so I spent the entire time planning out what I would say when I saw him. I also tried to plan out how to talk to Alice about masturbation and my failed attempt at it last night. I wondered if something was wrong with me, if my body just wasn't meant to reach that peak I've heard so much about and so much of what it sounded like from Rosalie when she spent the night when Charlie wasn't home.

_Those were the moments I had wished my best girlfriend wasn't my adopted sister who lived in the same house with me. A sleepover would be so convienent at those moments._

The car ride home was the same as usual. Emmett was blasting music rich with sexual undertones. Nothing shocked or surprised me about what Emmett would listen to as long as his favourite hobby was mentioned. It only made me slightly uncomfortable and I shifted awkwardly in the seat as _**Flex**_ by _**Mad Cobra**_ wouldn't even let the sex issue slide. More than once it repeated that it was time to have sex. Was it just me or was the heater up to high?

I couldn't be happier to be home.

We pulled into our driveway and I all but ran inside and into the comfort of my own room. I'd deal with Alice later- that I knew was inevitable. For now I just needed time to breathe.

I dropped my bag on my desk chair and sat down in front of my vanity mirror. I knew Alice wasn't going to let me off the hook about the whole lunchroom scenario and there was no way to escape her enquiring mind no matter how hard I tried.

_Again another reason I wished my best friend didn't live in the same house._

A blush coloured my cheeks as I went over how to ask another girl how they liked to touch themselves and how they think I should go about it. What were the right ways to massage the clitorious and get to the good stuff? Gosh, I felt so naive and uncomfortable. The collar of my shirt seemed to tighten and I pulled at it to loosen it a bit. To cool me down I waved my hands like a fan when that inevitable moment came and Alice was at my door holding back the urge hop into my room.

"Come in" I called to her and in no time she was sitting crossed legged on my bed ready to spring.

"You're going to tell me what you were humming about today aren't you?" she asked innocently enough without sounding too eager.

I took a deep breath in trying hard not to blush again when I answered her.

"It's kind of embarrassing Alice."

She could tell when I used her full name I was being serious about something. Her tiny frame scrambled to the end of the bed to get closer to me.

"Bella, go on. You know can talk to me about anything." The look in her eye told me Alice had been anticpating this conversation for quite some time. Probably longer than the time in the hallway when she caught me in the hallway day dreaming.

Another deep breath in and I began.

"Itriedmasturbatinglastnighttoseewhatitfeltlike" I blurted out in an incoherent sentence.

I sighed and took in Alice's perplexed expression and started over a little slower.

"I tried masturbating last night to see what it felt like."

Alice nodded her head to get me to continue so I did.

"But I don't think I did it right. I mean.. it felt good but there wasn't like a moment where I uh..felt it. - it just sort of plateaued."

"Did you rub your nipples?" Alice probed.

I was kind of taken aback by her bluntness but we'd already gotten past the awkward stage when I started the conversation.

I took in her comment realizing it was just my right hand doing all the work. I pursed my lips at why nipples were important to the equation when I heard Alice exhale from her place on the bed.

"Look Bella if you want some pointers I'd be happy to help. Masturbation is a normal human activity and it's great for when your boyfriend is out of town, trust me. You just need some practice. And when you're ready I can help you with the big stuff too."

The blush in my face faded away. Talking to Alice about all this wasn't as hard as I had made it out to be. We were over that hurtle now.

_This was one of the reasons I loved living with my best friend. They were always an armslength away._

I got up from in front of my vanity and joined Alice on my bed to continue our discussion. For hours we talked about masturbation and I was excited to find the chance to put Alice's tips into practice.

**EPOV**

I had to be honest, my hand was pretty uncomfortable when I was done masturbating myself into exhaustion. If Carlisle didn't think I was sick earlier this morning, the strain in my face would be all to convincing.

All this me time was to get my sexual tension out of my system so it wouldn't catch me off guard every time Bella was in my vicinity. It seemed funny to have to do so but I really did want to get know her and I figured having a raging hard-on the entire time would stand in the way of that.

I was right about Carlisle though, when I walked into the kitchen for dinner Carlisle's suspicision was erased as he saw me make my way slowly to the table. I was sluggish and the exertion of orgasm after orgasm had left me with small bags under my eyes and I internally was grateful for having an out if I needed another day away with my hand.

"My my Edward, did you get any sleep at all today?" Esme asked in her most tender voice as concern rose in her face.

I saw her hand wrapped around Carlisle's under the table. Esme and Carlisle were still a little weary of PDA when I was around. They thought it made me super uncomfortable to watch my father with another woman so soon after my mom left. I didn't care much either way. My dad was happy and Esme was hard not to love.

"Yeah, son you look like crap" Carlisle replied recieving an agile nudge in the ankle from Esme.

I chuckled at Esme's protest to any sort of bad language. Carlisle smoothed her hair from her face in apology while I chowed down on my dinner.

I would need my strength if I wanted to make it to school the next day.


	3. Ice Water

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: **__Again, thank you to all of you who reviewed. It put a smile on my face. :)_

_This chapter's pretty lengthy compared to the others but there was a lot to get in. I wanted to give Edward more POV time but at this point in the story my main focus is Bella. But no worries Edward will get his huge POV time soon enough._

**Chapter 3 - Ice Water**

**EPOV**

"Ugh, Emmett Swan is the horniest guy in Forks" Jessica Stanley said a bit repulsed looking over to where the big muscular teenager was air humping the table mimicking a sex act.

_Doggy-style. Obviously._

Jessica turned away from the scene and began petting Mike Newton's head affectionately. Angela and Eric were holding hands being all cute and in love. Tyler slouched into his seat overwhlemed by all the couply stuff going on around him.

I, on the other hand, went on watching the scene unfold across the room. Bella put her head in her hands obviously annoyed by her brother's behaviour. She shook her head. From where I was sitting I could see her heave in a breath of frustration as Emmett continued his demonstration now with added sound effects. The blonde to his right was applying makeup and seemed not to notice her boyfriend making a fool out of himself in a crowded school cafeteria. Across the table from them the little pixie like girl with the short black hair was shaking her head in disapproval while her boyfriend smiled in amusement his arm nestled comfortably around the small girl's shoulder.

Bella's foot lifted off the ground and I watched as it kicked Emmett swift and hard in the shin.

"That a girl" I thought. A smile broke across my face and I coughed to smother a laugh. No one at the table would have seen the kick. Of course, no one was paying as much attention to Bella as I was.

Watching them all interact was fascinating in it's own right but my attention was focused mainly on Bella. Her soft, pale coloured skin and those lucious lucious lips...

Before I had a repeat of the biology incident I turned away quickly and poked at my food with a fork absentmindedly pretending to eat it.

**BPOV**

"The new guy is totally staring at you" Alice piped up in my ear as I tried hard not to be visible while Emmett added noises to his demonstration of the 'doggy style' position or whatever. I wasn't impressed but of course Emmett didn't stop.

Another day. Another sexually frustrating day. And the joys of an overly sexual brother who enjoyed embarassing his sister in public.

"Emmett put a sock on it" Rosalie warned without looking up from applying her makeup.

Emmet stopped airhumping the table and sat down sulking a little. There was only ever one person who could shut Emmett up without trying and Rosalie had taken full advantage of that.

I kicked Emmett as hard as I could under the table. An audible "Ow" came from his lips and I glowered at Emmett for being such a jerk. There could only be so much Emmett one could stand before your sex drive decreased and seeing as I wasn't sure I had one, the possibilty of ever finding it was lower everytime I was around him too long.

Finally, with a moment of peace, I poked my head up slightly toward where Edward was sitting with Jessica Stanley and her male cohorts.

Her and Mike Newton were so obviously friends with benefits you'd think they would just make it official already. My guess was Jessica just liked having options too much. We were talking about Jessica Stanley right? If you thought you looked as good as she thought she did of herself you would keep your doors wide open too.

Emmett would have enjoyed that innuendo but he was being too much of a dick today to share my cleverness with.

Edward was picking at his food. If he _had _been staring he wasn't anymore.

"You mean Edward?" I pointed out, nonchalantly.

Alice was a little less than surprised. "Do you guys like know each other or something?"

"We have bio together that's all." Some of the bitterness I was feeling from bio the other day lingered in my words. Today would be my chance to confront him.

"He was just staring at Bella," Jasper added, "while Emmett was kind enough to demonstrate the proper form for." Jasper stopped short of finishing his sentence.

Even Jasper wasn't safe from sex talk now and again. Pain flickered on his face and I knew Alice had stomped on his big toe discouraging him from encouraging Emmett to continue.

"Edward was probably only staring because my brother is a fool and being a fool in a crowd of people is kind of his specialty." I pretty much spat at Emmett.

"Oh please Bella." Em snickered back. "Live a little wontcha?. These days sex isn't all taboo and mystery and closed doors. It's freedom, it's expression, it's fucking fun is what it is." He draped an arm around Rosalie's shoulder who then looked up from her makeup.

"Yeah Bella. You shouldn't avoid talking about sex because you feel excluded due to the whole virgin thing. It's perfectly normal to want to wait." Rose fingered her lipgloss and puckered her lips.

"Sometimes I wished I had waited too."

Everyone laughed except Emmet.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Everyone looked at each other except Rosalie who continued to perfect her makeup and finally set it all in her purse. She ignored Emmett's question and finished her train of thought.

"All I'm saying is don't knock it until you try but don't shove the door down either."

_Rosalie was always one for advice but sometimes that advice had you pondering for days._

Lunch was over with the sound of the bell. Mentally I made a note to ponder over what was said later but I had bigger fish to fry in the present. I'd go to my locker then walk with Alice to my next class - Bio.

_Suddenly I wasn't so sure about the whole confrontation thing. _

**EPOV**

Class wasn't set to begin for another five minutes but I was already in my seat waiting for Bella. So badly I wanted to forget the other day and get to know this girl better in other ways than just hormone filled fantasy versions.

I tried to keep my nerves calm and my mind in the present.

_No boner. No boner. Absolutely no boner. Not today._

Not much long after my little inward pep talk with Edward Jr. I cocked my head up just in time to see Bella undo her grasp on the little pixie girl's arm. Soon after the two were separated I saw Bella straighten her back, push her chest out a little and walk onward into the class then hesitate in the doorway. It was almost as though Bella was preparing for something she wasn't too excited to face. Bella's hands slid into her pockets and she looking longingly at the distance in which the small frame of her companion was headed.

My lower lip hid under my tooth as I bit my lip in thought. Was Bella not looking forward to having to face me?

The thought upset me a little and I turned to sit more comfortably in my seat. I shouldn't make this harder on her by throwing myself at her. To keep myself looking busy I fumbled through my school bag until I was sure Bella was settled in her seat and given a moment to compose herself.

People were still filing into class when I spun my head to look at her and spoke softly,

"I hope I didn't offend you the other day with my lack of conversational skills." I tried to sound endearing and apologetic using my eyes to plead my case for me.

Her eyes met mine and I saw her brown eyes soften a bit.

"I was wondering what happened to you" Bella spoke so meekly and quietly I almost wasn't sure if she wanted me to hear it or not.

"Personal issues. I didn't want to throw you off with the details," I answered kind of truthfully omitting the boner part of the details. It was personal alright.

"But. I'm all better now." Again I used my eyes to get across my apology. A second passed and I saw Bella's lips part about to say something but she stopped herself and turned her attention to the books in front of her. What was she thinking?

"Mmmm. Well I'm glad you're feeling better." Her answer sounded as though she could have pressed the issue more but my eye trick had done it's job and had accepted my apology.

She started chewing the cap of her pen making her lips pucker in the cutest way. I wanted to keep Bella talking.

"You and that girl seem to be pretty close. The one with the short hair."

Bella stopped chewing. "Alice," her head spun back toward the door where her friend had left her. "she's my sister."

My mouth gaped open a little because I couldn't see the resemblance so I had to say so.

"You two look nothing alike at all. Come to think of it you don't look much like your brother Emmett either."

I saw that she wasn't sure how I knew about Emmett so I explained.

"He was the big guy humping the table right? Jessica mentioned him at lunch and I recognized the last name."

The smallest chuckle came from her lips and her cheeks deepened to a shy pink.

"Oh. You saw that huh?" Bella looked away a little flustered. "Their adopted." As if it explained it all.

"Really huh." I said interested, " And how about you?"

"Biological. My dad was a foster parent when I was younger which is how they came to live with us. I guess they made quite the impression because they've stayed ever since." She resumed chewing the crap out of her pen top and smiling at some inside joke.

I could get used to that smile.

I wanted to keep talking but our conversation was cut short.

Mr. Banner stood at the front of the room trying to regain control of the classroom murmuring at late students to take a seat quickly so he could start. Both hands were full forcing Mr. Banner to rely solely on his voice to get everyone settled enough to explain what today's lesson had in store.

Once the class was quiet enough for Mr. Banner to still be heard he made his way around to each table and deposited a bloodtyping kit to each set of partners. As he did so, Mr. Banner explained the bloodtyping would be informative for when the blood drive arrived in a few months.

Some students were really into the idea digging immediately into the kit. Others looked down at or away from the kit in silent agony as a common fear of needles made others cringe further away from it. I glanced over at Bella to notice she hadn't done either. Instead, she sat staring at the kit not moving much just twirling her thumbs and biting her lip.

I made the first move toward the kit hoping it would get Bella's attention. It did sort of.

When I made to grab the kit I watched her eyes follow the movement of my hands. I pulled it closer and began to take out the necessary bits noticing Bella didn't take her eyes off it the entire time.

She rarely blinked as I unwrapped the small needle required to draw the small amount of blood needed.

"Now, please everyone becareful with the needles. The test only requires a small amount of blood." Mr. Banner expressed and went on describing the intricacies of the test and how to do it properly.

Blood didn't really phase me. In fact, I was one of the students who was excited about the idea. If Bella didn't want to do first I would. I'd go first and show her it was safe and fine and nothing to be weary about.

_It was just a little prick._

Apparently it wasn't. My eyes were locked on Bella's face while I moved to draw blood.

The needle penetrated deep enough and blood immediately sprang and formed a small drop on my fingertip.

Bella's face contorted with discomfort and her hands reflexively curled around her midsection. I let the blood pool on my finger not letting my gaze leave her form.

"Are you alright Bella?" I needed to ask.

Now her breathing became more heavy when I noticed her eyes focus on the blood on my finger. She made to stand up quickly and I followed her instinctively pushing my stool aside.

"Bella. Are you.."

"I'm fine." but the words were too muffled to let it be.

Her feet found the ground and she stood with her hands still wrapped around her stomach. It was only a second but I saw the blank look spill out across her face before her eyes were rolled back into her head. I reached out before Bella's suddenly limp form could hit the floor with any force that would cause pain later.

Inside my chest I could feel my heart beat a mile a minute with adrenaline. Yet, I wasn't sure that was the complete reason.

She lay still in my arms for a moment. My hands wiped the hair away from her forehead and traced her jaw.

Something in me, some instinct, had me feeling very protective of Bella now as students began swarming around us. I wanted nothing more to protect her from the crowd of prying eyes and her safety. I kicked myself for not seeing the signs earlier of her aversion to blood. The staring, how she wrapped herself in her arms obviously a sign of nausea.

_How could I have been so stupid?_

And yet, with any incoherence I had left, I questioned how this feeling was so strong when I barely knew Bella at all. I mean, barely knew her outside of my hormone raged figment..

I put all rational thinking aside for the moment and focused on Bella as her eyes began to slowly open.

**BPOV **

I could see people standing over me before I could see Edward.

I panicked a little at not seeing him immediately but when I heard his voice say "Bella" I immediately followed the sound to it's beatiful face. He hadn't been looming over me like the rest because I was safely cradled in his arms.

His eyes were on mine determined when my eyes fluttered open momentarily stunned by the bright lights of the classroom.

The look in his eyes as I struggled against his grasp to sit up was enough to melt anyone's heart. Worry lines formed around his eyes as the topaz began to shine from the way the light was hitting us.

He felt my effort to sit up and made to help me lifting me lightly upward.

_What a gentleman._

Edward's hands were cold on my exposed skin and a small shudder ran through me.

My face was flushed with heat and I patted my hand on my forehead. I heard someone say "here" before I felt it.

The temperature from the cloth, I knew Edward was laying on my neck, made my body ten for a second then relax with relief.

_Great, just when I was getting to know him I go and faint on him._

I cursed bloodtyping, wishing Mr. Banner had given some warning beforehand so I could maybe have skipped today and saved myself some embarrassment. Blood always made me nauseaous. Always.

We sat like that for a little while longer when I decided it was time to get up off the floor. When I made the move to the get up Edward kept his grip on the cold cloth and slid one hand under my elbow for support. I gave him a sincere smile in thanks.

The effort of getting up meant Edward applied more pressure to the cloth.

A single drop of ice cold water trickled down my spine from the cold cloth dripping slowly when he removed it from my neck. The sensation made me shiver against my will and I could feel a funny feeling in Area 51. It felt a bit like it had the night I failed miserably at independent pleasure time. This wasn't the first time I'd ever shivered but it was the first time I felt the shiver in my nether regions fully an appreciated it.

_Shivering would never be the same again._

The crowd dispersed when they saw me get up and regain control of myself. Some looked disappointed as if they thought maybe someone had stabbed a little to hard to draw blood but were met with a limp figure on the floor.

Mr. Banner was nearest to Edward and I. He let us escape to the Nurse's office for the remainder of the class where we talked amicably about the scene and casually getting into other subject matters.

Surprisingly we had a lot in common.

Once school was over, Edward made sure I made it safely to Emmett's car. The others eyed him curiously but didn't say a word. News of my fainting must have spread around school fast. Forks High wasn't big on major events so small things like fainting was interesting enough gossip to spread around quickly. I never understood it.

Before he left he smiled the crooked smile I knew I'd never get sick of.

I could get used to that smile.

I shivered again remembering moments earlier.

***

It was amazing how easily I forgot why I was upset with him in the first place.

When I sat down beside Edward in biology he immediately opened the conversation with an apology for his absence.

_Apparently he had some personal issues and he didn't want to freak me out by sharing in the details._

Looking, or rather staring, into his topaz glare I couldn't push the issue. His voice was too soft, too gentle not to believe when he told you something. It was like being dazzled and frankly if we kept this up he would do it often.

Even if I did believe his personal issue story there was still one thing I couldn't figure out - Edward himself.

These thoughts occupied me all through dinner as the sound of clinking utensils against plates and low but audible chewing were merely whispers against the onslaught of my brain.

After dinner I went straight to my room giving Alice the excuse that I was still weak from my fainting incident in biology. Whether Alice believed me or not she didn't show it. She gave me space and headed off to her room- probably to call Jasper I guessed.

_Those two were always on the phone together. Charlie hated when Jasper went anywhere for vacation because it usually meant his wallet was a little lighter paying for their international phonesex. Of course Charlie was oblivious to that fact. He just figured they really liked talking to each other. _

I rolled my eyes at Charlie's naivete. _Yeah if talking to each other is another code word for sex_- _and it's many manifestations._

To tune out the world I headed to my stereo, plugged in my ipod and hit shuffle. _**To hell with good intentions - Mclusky.**_ Sweet.

With the music blaring as loud as was reasonable by Charlie's standards I leaped backwards and sprawled eagle on my back on the bed resting my head in my hands.

My thoughts were all over the place. I went from thinking about bio, to thinking about Edward to thinking about sex with Edward.

_**One of a kind - Placebo**_ followed Mclusky and I couldn't help but feel like one of a kind. The only virgin in my circle of friends. One. Single. Solo. Alone.

It was funny how music seemed to mimick one's mood.

There was no escaping sex or anything affliated with it. Most people believed if you can't beat them join them. Rosalie's words suddenly popped into my head. Something about "don't knock it until you try it".

But she also said "but don't shove the door down either".

I figured I was safe starting off with masturbation.

This was the perfect time to try out Alice's 'pointers' she had given me. Fainting in bio had it's benefits. No one would bother me, at least not for awhile.

Without thinking much I sprang from my bed and bolted to the door to lock it. I left the music playing to give me more privacy. Music would help in case I got carried away. I couldn't risk the embarrasment by not having it. Alice's masturbation speech was enough embarassment to last me at least a year.

I ran over the list of 'special spots' Alice mentioned in my head and exhaled before jumping back into bed.

_Okay, so what was it that Alice had said about an orgasm?_

Before I began, Alice said I should think about something that turned me on. When she said turned on I figured it must be how Edward made me feel so I immediately thought of him. His topaz eyes, his perfectly chisled chest, his angelic face. I thought about where his hands had held me earlier and I caressed the areas in memory. I conjured the memory of the ice cold water dripping down my spine and the shiver that followed. I repeated the process imagining my hands roaming over his chest and cradling his face my hands and staring at those oh so tempting lips.

Apparently it was mental foreplay.

I felt weird picturing Edward in this way. It made him feel so vulnerable against my imagination but at the moment my imagination was running away with me so I didn't stop.

Eventually my hands found their way to the warmest part of my body. I noticed as I explored the area again that the wetness I had felt the first time was already there. This time I didn't think twice about it. Alice had said it was a good sign of things to come.

I left my right hand to do their thing down below while my free hand had a job to do.

My issues the first night came from 'lack of stimulation' as Alice put it. I realized I needed to stop thinking about Alice as telling me these things because I didn't want this to get any weirder.

Instead I remembered a particular special spot. The free hand cupped my breat and I swept over the tip of my nipple gently sending a jolt of electricity throughout my entire body. I repeated the movement a couple of times before I delved in pinching and squeezing each nipple alternating between both.

Thoughts swarmed my head alternating between Edward, his touch and back again.

Nothing seemed to exist around me. My eyes were shut and the blackness of my eyelids only made it easier to fantasize about Edward's hand doing the work for me.

Lust crept through my veins, I could feel it with every rub. I didn't go straight for the clitorious instead massaged the area around it working up to it.

The pleasure made my back arch wanting more and I began humming against the hands exploring my body. The shirt I was wearing seemed tighter as I caught a glimpse of my nipple poking against the fabric of my shirt.

_If this was what being turned on felt like I knew now why everyone else was so turned on so much of the time. It felt so fucking good. Who wouldn't want to feel so good all the time?_

Passion drove me further into lust. Finally I began working my clitorious rubbing with a ferocity I didn't think myself capable of. I felt myself peeking but this time there was a point beyond the plateau - a much much higher point.

My toes curled and I murmured intermittently against the humming.

Music blared on in the background but I couldn't make out what song it was.

_I didn't care because I was winning the battle this time._

Electricty shot through my entire body from the core. My hand was still rubbing my clit when I convulsed softly against the bed then let go. My entire body tensed then relaxed. My breathing was heavy and I could feel the effort from the sweat on my forehead.

_Wow._

I lay in bed for a few more minutes letting my body regain itself.

Sweat soaked and a bit tired I needed a shower. Absentmindely I removed my clothes and hopped into the shower. I let the warm water soothe the pleasure I could still feel course through my body.

_Wow._

_Wow. Wow. Wow._

_Wow._

Startling me from my wow thoughts, I was being showered in cold water and my body tensed and relaxed and I was breathing heavily.

Someone was using water somewhere in the house.

"EMMETT!" I yelled knowing he probably couldn't hear me.

_The only upside was he didn't seem like such an idiot now comparing sex to cold showers anymore._


	4. Hot Sauna

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: **__I hope everyone had a good New Years. Sorry it took awhile to post. There isn't as much smut as usual but I assure you things are going to get steamy in the next few chapters. Maybe even a few other character POV's? We'll see._

_I don't want to spend too much time writing about B&E getting to know each other but there will be a buildup to some very steamy scenes._

_Enjoy :)_

**Chapter 4 - Hot Sauna**

**BPOV**

His hand slid down to catch the fabric of my t-shirt rustling it upward. His cold hands left goosebumps in their wake. I arched into his palms as they roamed senselessly over every inch of me. One hand locked itself around his midsection urging him closer while the other was tangled in his bronze locks. Every inch of me longed to feel his hands, his lips touch whatever part of me was left unexplored. Our lips mingled together daring the other further, pushing each other to the limit.

I exhaled slowly as his lips traced down my jaw line.

"Oh Edward." I moaned softly.

"Bella!"

My eyes were on his until they were open staring at the ceiling above me.

"Bella. Wake up." The voice seemed to come from a mile away.

This was when I realized I had been dreaming. That and my hand was cupped around my breast as it rested against my chest and my entire body radiated with warmth- unnatrual dream warmth from being so enthralled in whatever happened in said dream.

_My first dream about Edward Cullen. And it didn't disappoint._

I rubbed my eyes with my knuckles in a slow sluggish movement. The sun was bursting through the curtains so I threw the blanket over my head to hide. The knocking became more relentless before I made out the voice which had called to me earlier.

"Bella! You're going to be late!" Alice warned from behind the door.

I rubbed my eyes once more against the sunlight. "Tell Emmett I'll be ready in a minute."

I could hear the huff of air come from Alice in frustration. "Did you forget? You're truck is in the driveway. Charlie picked it up last night from the mechanics. Emmett's already gone to get Rose and Jasper's outside waiting for me. Get up!."

_Shit._

I said nothing.

The knocking continued.

"Hello? Bella!. Ugh!. Fine. Suit yourself." Even though I couldn't see Alice I imagined her stomping away arms flailing in defeat. "I'm leaving."

Her little footsteps were barely audible but I could hear them getting further and further away.

Getting annoyed at Alice was hard even if she had woken me up from the best dream I'd had in a long _long_ time. Maybe even ever.

This whole venture into lands unknown made me smile in reflection of the night previous. It wasn't sex but it was one step closer to fitting in more fully with average teenagers with average hormones who didn't shy away from their sexuality. We were all sexual beings, even me, sweet virginal Bella who was now amoung the hords of teenagers dreaming not so virginal things. What I had once affectionaly known as Area 51 was now not so mysterious. I felt like a completely different version of myself. The sun beat down and I could feel the heat warm my skin even more.

After a few seconds of reminicsing I dragged my butt out of bed and looked at my clock on the bedside table. There was no time for a shower so I rushed to wash my face, brush my teeth then jumped into clothes I grabbed from my closet. I didn't have time to think let alone eat so I snatched my keys from the hook by the door and rushed out hoping I could still make it to school in time.

And there it was, in all it's red truck glory - my beat up old pickup truck back from repair. I hadn't noticed how much I missed the thing until I was nestled comfortably in the front seat and the engine purred to life with classic country tunes coming from the outdated radio. No more Emmett music. _Yes._

The school parking lot was scattered with students making it difficult to find a parking spot. Time was on my side when I saw people still making their way inside before class. I shut off the engine, grabbed my napsack and hopped out from the truck. I swung the bag over my shoulder to lock the door when I heard someone calling my name.

"Bella. Hey."

_Edward._

He had been waiting near his car I guessed from the direction he was taking toward me. Edward's hair moved with the slight breeze and I was overcome with the sudden urge to tame the hair with my hand. I tucked my hand in my pocket resisting temptation and returned the crooked smile he was sending as he walked closer.

"Hey Edward" I returned the greeting with a big grin. I pictured how goofy it must look plastered on my face but I didn't care much

Within seconds he was standing a foot away still smiling.

"I wasn't sure you'd be in today. Thought you might have wanted to play hookie and skip out on us."

I started walking before I answered signalling for him to follow. "Charlie probably would have let me but I fainted. It's not like I tripped and fell face first in front of the entire school. Now that's embarassment worth skipping for." We laughed in unison agreeing to the notion.

"But if it weren't for you I probably would not have come. You kind of saved me there Edward." I stopped mid-walk to face him.

"It was no big deal." but I knew he was only being modest.

"I never did thank-you." I moved closer and hitched up on tiptoe placing a short peck on the cheek closest to me, "Thanks Edward."

His first few words were mixed together but I could somewhat make out something that sounded like a 'your welcome' before I apologized for having to leave and get to class.

"I'll see you in bio later."

All I heard was a murmer but I knew Edward was in agreement and I headed off to find the others.

**EPOV**

The spot Bella had kissed was warm- maybe with a blush or maybe with hormones. I couldn't tell because I was too distracted replaying the kiss over and over in my head stumbling over to my group of friends. Girls had always made me act more clumsy than was usual and I knew I'd have to focus more not to make a fool out of myself in front of Bella.

Jessica stood with her arms crossed tapping her foot looking mighty curious and possibly even a bit jealous. Before I could decpiher which emotion was stronger Mike Newton came around and wrapped him arms around her waist and kissed her neck. Those two were extremely couply for two people not in a relationship. They gave Eric and Angela a run for their smothering couple status without even trying. She gave Mike a kiss on the cheek sending my mind into backflips remembering the one Bella left me. Jessica then headed off in the other direction for one of the two classes we didn't share.

Mike and I walked toward the quad while I teased him about Jessica.

"Yo Edward." Tyler called running up a little breathless.

"You and Bella Swan huh?" He patted my back still talking, " Good luck with that bro. That girl does not date." He slowed to match our pace and looked up at me. "Apparently the guys here are too horny for her liking."

I quirked my eyebrows wondering what the heck he was talking about. "What?" I croaked taken off guard.

"The girl's so anti-sex you'd think she was born a nun. You say one sexual thing in front of her and she just scowls at you and walks away,"

A look of disbelief formed in my brows and I shook off Tyler's insight on Bella. Then I thought it was a good idea afterall I had avoided boner-gate and stayed home when I did. I couldn't come to any conclusions when Mike added in his two cents.

"He's right Edward. Bella Swan is basically a nun in a teenage girl's body. Practically off-limits"

Tyler laughed at some old joke. "Trust us, he would know."

Mike's fist came down heavy on Tyler's arm producing a muffled noise from Tyler who returned the gesture with his own punch to Mike's arm. I had to know what they meant so I put myself between the two stopping them from pummeling each other in the middle of the quad.

"What are you guys talking about?"

The two guys separated relatively easily and laughed together amicably. I stood there confused by the sudden exchange of friendship passing between them. It took a minutre to regain themselves before Mike sighed to answer.

"It's no biggie. I had a crush on her last semester and Bella overheard me telling Tyler here what I'd like to do to her in the bedroom. Ever since she's basically avoided me like the plague."

_Like she should dumbass._

I could feel the protective feeling over Bella well up inside and I coughed back the urge to throw my own punch Mike's way. Only this time I wasn't going to be nice and hit his arm. Instead I walked the safe route giving them a half truth.

"We're just friends guys." I said regretfully hoping it wasn't all we'd be.

"And that little kiss she gave you?" Tyler elbowed me in jest.

"She was thanking me for catching her when she fainted in bio. That's all."

Mike and Tyler didn't seem convinced so I went the route of any other teenage boy.

"The last thing I want is a nun in a teenage girl's body." _Although the thought would add a bit more spice to my fantasies. _ It sucked going that route in this case but it got the guys off my back and I was free to mull over how I was going to work this out.

"Whatever dude, let's just get to class before we get booked for being late again. Jess and I have a date tonight and I can't risk being grounded. Not today."

We headed off to class and I replayed Bella's kiss over again a few more times.

**BPOV**

I went to lunch with higher spirits than was usual. Emmett was in the middle of a dirty joke when I sat down and heard the rest of it. I had to admit it was pretty clever so I laughed out loud with the rest of my table. After awhile I noticed I was the only one still giggling while the others stared at me bewildered.

"What?" I coughed choking from laughing a bit too hard.

Emmett threw his hand up to my forehead patting it as if checking for a fever. I slapped his hand off my forehead and stared right back at him.

"What are you doing?" I questioned.

He stared at me looking a lot like a deer in headlights. "I'm just making sure you're not feeling ill." he eyed me curiously, "Are you?" he asked.

"I'm not ill okay. The joke was funny so I laughed. What's the big deal?"

Emmett laughed again, in disbelief, as though I'd just told him I was Mother Teresa or something.

"The big deal was that it was a dirty joke. Bella Swan doesn't laugh at dirty jokes. She scowls and glares at them." Emmett retorted placing his hand on my forehead again. I slapped it away with more force than was necessary.

I looked around to the others to see if they shared in Emmett's disbelief. Jasper was chewing on a frenchfry avoiding the subject- trying to be neutral. Alice looked a bit smug but didn't look at me. Rosalie was just sitting there filing her nails with a small triumphant smile fighting at her lips. A blush rushed my face at the attention. Had they all known I might have tasted a bit of forbidden fruit?

_Was it really that odd of me to laugh at a dirty joke?_

It must have been because Emmett was still staring when I turned my face to look at him again.

"Oh come on guys. I laugh at dirty jokes sometimes." I really didn't even sound convincing to myself. "Don't I?"

No one answered.

We sat around in silence for awhile the occasional clearing of the throat here or there. I propped my chin on my hands and forgot about my lunch. My eyelids drooped a bit but I stayed awake. I wondered how much laughing at the joke gave away my little secret to the others. How much did they suspect I'd done to be more at ease with the joking? My face blushed again and I hid my face in my hands blocking my view of the others.

When it was time to leave lunch Alice and Rosalie huddled together before I got up. I wasn't completely certain but I was sure I heard one them say something along the lines of "She's growing up" before bursting into a fit of giggles. The high pitched giggles I knew came Alice and the low chuckle I knew came from Rosalie. I pushed away from the table after them. Jasper trodded along after Emmett who was still stunned by what happened at lunch.

_Was it really that big a deal?_

I sighed and followed them to the lockers. Rosalie had momentarily distracted Emmett by shoving her tounge in his mouth. I hoped my new found appreciation for dirty jokes wouldn't mean they thought I'd be more comfortable with them groping each other more often than they already did. Jasper took hold of Alice's hand and I flinched at the PDA surrounding me, suffocating me. Today I walked off to class without Alice by my side now growing more tired than I was this morning. It drew a thick cloud around me like steam from a sauna.

I needed sleep.

**EPOV**

Biology was really boring. Bella and I had finished early with the lab Mr. Banner had set up for us involving onion root. Luckily, having done the lab before, we were done before anyone else. It gave us a chance to talk some more which I greatly appreciated. I tried not to focus on the kiss so much when we spoke but it was hard watching her lips move in lush movements.

_They probably tasted amazing._

Almost dipping into a Bella-filled day dream I shook the thought from my head and focused more intently on her form slouched over the desk. She looked very tired and preoccupied in her thoughts.

"Everything okay?"

She shrugged her shoulders yawning. "I just really want to sleep."

I took a quick look around the room finding everyone else was having some difficulty with the lab noting we'd have a lot of spare time on our hands. "Why don't you nap now? There's no way everyone will finish by the end of class and I can keep a look out, wake you up if anything happens."

Bella smiled in appreciation. I smiled on the inside wider than the smile I sent her telling her it was alright. She mumbled me a thanks and rested her head on her arms. Within minutes her breathing was steadier and lulled with sleep. During her nap I absentmindly doodled in my notebook looking desperately for something to do rather than stare at Bella's sleeping form right beside me. After sometime it got to be too much and I stole a long glance her way. When I did so I saw her lips coming apart as though attempting to say something. I wasn't close enough to hear so I casually bent to reach my napsack on the floor beside her.

And I heard it. As clear as day. I heard it.

I heard Bella whisper my name. _My. Name._

In shock I jumped up instead of grabbing my bag knocking over my notebook instead. The noise woke Bella who squinted to see what the commotion was.

"Sorry" I mumbled. "I didn't mean to wake you, I just dropped my notebook."

I fumbled to the floor to pick it up and when I got back into my seat I saw Bella wasn't upset at the intrusion. Instead the cutest smile formed across her lips and she was looking at me with a slight tinge of pink to her face. We both looked away from each other quickly busying ourselves with whatever we could reach.

The bell rang not a moment too soon. Bella and I picked up our things, said goodbye and parted. It was so bittersweet.

_Bella Swan had kissed me, said my name in her sleep_

I could tell we were both a bit shy in that moment but I was determined not to mess things up. The next chance I'd get I would ask her to dinner. Yes. Dinner.

The entire rest of the day I spent planning out how I would ask Bella out. I played over different scenarios from yes,' and no's, to maybe's, to not even close. No matter what I had to ask. I would ask. There was no question about it.

My thoughts followed me to my car after school. I set my book bag on top and leaned with my back pressed against the side of the car. From where I was parked I could see Bella making her own way to her truck. The truck was probably older than her dad but it had a rustic appeal that seemed so much like Bella.

I mulled over the timing of my request and realized now was as good a time as any.

My hand reached backward for my book bag letting the determined feeling flow through me. In a couple of jogging strides I was within reach of Bella. I tapped her shoulder to get her attention. Her body swivled to face me and she grinned.

"Hey Edward."

"Hi."

Nervousness was beginning to take over and I stared down at my shoes to get a hold of myself long enough to ask the damn question. Without meeting her gaze I spit it out.

"I was wondering if you wanted to maybe catch a dinner with me?" The words came out wrong and Bella looked at me puzzled. I cleared my throat and corrected myself. "I mean, would you want to maybe join me for dinner this weekend?"

Bella stood condsidering my question for awhile while our bodies shifted positions unconsciously. I was standing between her and the door to her truck. I finally lifted my eyes from the floor to watch her reaction. The good thing was it didn't look like she was rejecting me but the bad thing was Bella still hadn't answered me.

Moments passed then I saw it. I saw the car before she had a chance too. The green van I recognized as Tyler's was coming in fast but Bella was too distracted to notice the screech of tires trying to stop. I grabbed her instinctivley putting myself between her and the oncoming vehicle. A look of shock swam across her face when the shift of our bodies put the oncoming car in her field of vision. A muffled scream came from deep in Bella's throat but I hugged her form close to my body moving us both out of the path of destruction. I directed us toward the front of Bella's truck which felt the safest with the way Tyler's van was swirving. Tyler's van nudged Bella's truck with much less force than I anticipated. Still it was enough force to nudge me further and knock Bella and I to the ground in a tangled heap. Screams from far away voices were hardly distinct over the beating of our hearts. Adrenaline coursed through us as I lay over Bella my hand cradling her head putting space between her and the cement ground.

Everything happened so fast after that. One moment I'm lying over top of Bella the next we're at the hospital being examined for any injuries sustained.

I could see Tyler had a nasty gash over his eye from hitting the steering wheel. Bella was nowhere to be seen and I didn't have much chance to look for her before Carlisle and Esme were hovering over me. Carlisle told me I had no serious injuries just minor scrapes on my knuckles where it hit the pavement and a bruise on my back from where the truck nudged me.

"I'm so happy you're okay." Esme cooed showering me with motherly kisses. She made to hug me but I cringed away letting her know my back wouldn't sustain an Esme hug right now. She settled with draping her arm over my shoulders and squeezing gently.

"Can I talk to you a minute?" The voice came from my right.

Bella walked closer greeting my parents in a polite manner before my parents gave us space.

"That's twice you've saved me. Think I could hire you? You know, pay you back for your gracious deeds?" She sat next too me examining me with her eyes.

I answered her unspoken question, "I'm still intact. A few dings here and there but nothing major." I smilled reassuringly.

"I think I know one way to pay you back." The smile worked and Bella eased up a smidge. "I didn't get a chance to say this earlier but we kinda got a bit distracted."

Her hand reached up to smooth a rebel strand of hair from my forehead. "I'd love to go to dinner with you." Her smile radiated with warmth and I reached out to squeeze her hand. The touch sent warm electricity through me.

_I had a date with Bella Swan._

_Sweet._

***

That night I dreamt about Bella.

It wasn't the usual kind, the sexual type I'd been having since I met her.

_My hand was thankful for that._

The dreams were us together, happy and in love. It was the kind of love you weren't rational with. It was impulsive, selfish but a kind form of love. I wanted to scream to the world that I loved this girl but people wouldn't understand. I didn't even care if she didn't return the feelings, although it would have made my world to hear she did. Bella was Bella and it made me feel the most normal I've felt in the longest time.


	5. Cold Feet

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: **__Sorry it took me a bit to post. I had a bit of writer's block writing this chapter so I needed a lot of away time to finish it but it's done now and I hope you like it._

**Chapter 5 - Cold Feet **

**BPOV**

I had a date with Edward Cullen.

_A date. A real date. With someone way out of my league._

What was I thinking?

My shoulders slumped and I chewed harder on the pen top as I tried doing some homework. I couldn't help but keep thinking about all the ways this date could go horribly wrong. Not to mention the general ways this date could spontaneously combust but what if Edward was just like every other guy our age?

All hormones and little heart.

The thought seemed a little ridiculous because nothing about Edward Cullen was like any other guy.

I'd seem Edward hang around Mike Newton and my would be assassain Tyler had Edward not saved me. I knew what those guys were like and it bothered me to think of them all together acting much like boys do. Unfortunately that put them in the same category as Emmett albeit Emmett was much more in your face about it.

No, Mike Newton took a much quieter approach. Last semester when it went around Mike had a crush on me I tried approaching him about it. It's not even that I liked Mike so much as I wanted to experience what it was like when someone felt something for you.

_Bad idea._

When I was about to confront Mike he was talking with Tyler so I held back waiting for a better opportunity. From where I was standing I could make out bits of their conversation. I was appaulled when I heard my name, a naughty school girl outfit and mind-blowing sex all in one sentence. There was no way I was going to stay long enough to hear the rest of their twisted fantasies so I pushed my way passed them giving as evil a stare as I could muster. Ever since I avoided Mike and never got the chance to know what it was like.

But with Edward it would be different. He had shown interest in me by asking me out to dinner. Plus, Edward had saved my life right after asking me out. That had to make it different. Shouldn't it?

I regretted not answering Edward sooner when he did ask. I was mentally figuring out what day Charlie's work seminar fell on and it meant stalling for a bit. Before I could answer Tyler's van was on a crash course in my direction. I'd hoped Edward didn't think it was a pity date for saving me from the runaway van. I was geuninely interested in going out with him.

This time it wasn't about feeling what anything was like but feeling something for what it was. I felt something for Edward Cullen although it had no name yet. Whatever I felt must be something because I hadn't stopped thinking about Edward since the day I met him in the cafeteria. It was definitely more than a crush.

_More than anything else I've ever let myself feel._

I had one day to come up with one good reason why this date was a bad idea.

**EPOV**

My date with Bella was one day away.

_There was one day left for her to bail on me._

And I worried she might do just that.

The day I asked Bella out she had taken time to answer me. Almost as though she were stalling. When I finally got an answer we were in the hospital after the accident. Was it just out of gratitude? Was she pitying me because I saved her life?

I tried to repress the feeling drawing my attention to the razor in my hand I used for shaving. The metal blade was wet and cold from the water and it glided up my cheek leaving a trail bare of bare skin behind it.

Shaving required one's full attention but I couldn't help think over the outcome of the date.

Not to mention, I occupied myself with thoughts about the many ways the actual date with Bella would go terribly wrong and all the things I could possibly do to ruin things for good.

I heeded Tyler's warnings and knew I had to keep things clean. That was easy. All I'd have to do is get myself off a couple times before meeting her and I'd be relieved enough to keep myself from getting an erection at dinner. Check.

My hand did another round over my cheeks still caught up in thoughts.

I noted my notorious clumsiness and knew I would have to keep focused to avoid slamming the door on her hand, or tripping over my own feet and knocking her to the ground along with me. I would have to be careful. Easier said than done but I would try hard. Check.

When I was done in the washroom I threw on my boxers and jumped into bed.

The clock in my roomed ticked and tocked as I tried to sleep. My back was still bruised so I settled onto my stomach and wrapped my arms around a pillow. I exhaled deeply into it trying to calm my nerves. For some time I tossed and turned until I came to the realization that now was as good a time to relieve myself.

Laying on my back would be too painful and it was too late for a shower. It wouldn't take long but I had to be quiet about it too. The bathroom seemed like the best option so I took a seat on the toilet and slipped my dick out of my boxers. I reached for the bottle of lotion I kept stored under the sink and squeezed some into my palm. My hand gripped my dick, the cool temperature of the cream sent shivers up my spine, and I massaged the lotion all over my cock inhaling. I pumped up and down slowly at first finding a rhythm and planted my feet sternly to the tile floor.

To help the process along I pictured having sex again. Instead of Tanya's strawberry blonde locks I pictured Bella's brown hair tickling my face as she moved up and down my length rocking her hips needing me deeper. I replaced Tanya's moans with Bella's voice moaning intimately into my ear to go faster. My hand obliged the fantasy Bella and my hand rubbed my dick faster sending my mind into a fury of pleasure. Fantasy Bella moaned my name where Tanya would have and dug her nails into my shoulders where Tanya's had been. There was no exchange of words in the fantasy just an exchange of body, pleasure for pleasure. I tried to keep my breathing steady while fantasy Bella arched her back ready to cum with me. I pictured her breasts in my palms and my mouth smothering her nipples making her flicker with the sensation. In no time I was ready to cum too and I braced myself grabbing hold of the sink for support. My hand worked my cock harder and harder until I came with a deep sigh and relaxed on the seat of the toilet. I let the waves of pleasure flow through me breathing heavily with the effort.

_I could definitely get to sleep now._

My cum was splattered over the floor so I wiped it with some toilet paper wetting some more to make sure I got rid of all the evidence.

Hands washed and mess cleaned I hopped back into bed in anticpation for the date.

I would definitely have to do that again before I picked Bella up.

**BPOV**

I hadn't found any good reason why I shouldn't go on the date.

If not knowing the etiquette of dating counted I probably would have called it off. But I had Rosalie and Alice around to teach me so it wasn't an escape route I could take.

_Not that I wanted too. It would just save Edward from having to regret asking me out in the first place._

Alice buzzed with excitement about the upcoming date she nearly bolted me to my chair to help with the aesthetics. There was no getting out of asking for Alice's help now. She had called for reinforcements inviting Rosalie to spend the day unnattached to Emmett's mouth.

"You work on the hair, I'm going to go fish out some outfit choices from my closet." Alice cooed to Rosalie standing over me armed with a curling iron and hairspray. Alice's retreating form left me to ponder about Alice's choice in clothing to which I wasn't sure I could be excited for. Out of all the things that could go wrong on this date, a wardrobe malfunction was one I hadn't yet considered.

Rosalie went to work on my hair twisting it into the curling iron humming some nondescript tune. Feeling Rosalie pull and twist my hair felt surprisingly relaxing and I closed my eyes to enjoy it's calming effect. I wasn't allowed to see my reflection anyways, Alice made me promise.

Her little footsteps were my cue to open my eyes. Alice lay the outfits out on the bed to make it easier to see as an ensemble. One by one she held up outfit after outfit before we unanimiously decided on jeans and a form-fitting black turtleneck. The choice was safe enough but I was a little weary when Rosalie commented on how big my boobs looked in it.

_If I wanted to find out if Edward was just like other guys, flaunting my boobs probably wasn't the best idea._

When they were done primping and priming I looked in the mirror. The turtleneck did give my breasts a fuller look to them but what caught my attention most was the hair. Rosalie's work was subtle and the accent of curls throughout my hair was really very beautiful. I'd never given much thought to this kind of stuff before and I was glad to have Alice and Rosalie there to help. They knew enough about me to make me still look and feel like myself only a little brighter.

**EPOV**

It had been quite some time since I had to dress for a date.

Once I was out of the shower I stood staring at what there was in my closet. I ran a hand through my wet hair releasing water droplets to scatter down my bare chest and back. The water left goosebumps on the skin where it touched.

What to wear was turning out to be harder than it should have been.

_I wanted to make a good impression on Bella._

Finally I settled on jeans and a white button up dress shirt I didn't tuck into my pants. I didn't bother arranging the collar either. It would be too much unlike my usual style to start nitpicking about the symmetry of my outfit. Just like my hair, my clothes tended to be a little messy but somehow looked like it was intended to be that way. It just happened to style itself like that. And that was just the way I liked it.

I took one last look in the mirror, running my fingers through my hair and spraying on a spritz of the cologne Esme bought me for my birthday months earlier. I prayed it wasn't too overwhelming when I grabbed my car keys and made my way out to my car.

Esme wished me luck and Carlisle nodded in agreeance. I smiled back a little nervously causing me to catch the tiny step of the doorway and trip slightly out the door. It wasn't a fantastic start but it would make sure I payed more attention to where I walked next.

For the drive to Bella's house I tried drowning my nerves by turning up the music in my car. I guess it didn't help that the CD in the stereo was **The Manhattans.** Although the music was soothing the words had a bit of a different effect. I reached around for the CDs I stashed in my glove compartment and threw in a random mix. So far the music was more uplifting and the drive to Bella's was a little less ominous.

I pulled up to her driveway and turned off the car. I sat in the seat for a minute rehearsing different things to say before I finally got out and walked to the front door.

Someone answered before I finished knocking.

I was met at the doorway by the same girl with short black hair I'd seen with Bella around school.

"You must be Edward. Come on in." Her voice was soothing and she wore a huge grin as she lead me into the foyer to wait for Bella. I gave her my most polite smile in return.

"Bella. Edward's here." She called up the stairwell where I guessed Bella was still getting ready.

"I'll be down in sec." I heard a faint voice call back in response.

Silence crept over the foyer after that. It felt like forever before anyone spoke so I decided I would make polite conversation with the small girl lingering in the foyer with me.

"So you're Alice right?" I asked kindly.

"Mmhmm." Alice answered staring impatiently at the stairwell her arms crossed and her foot tapping the floor.

I cleared my throat thinking of what else to say looking up and down at my feet a little nervous still.

_What if her family didn't like me?_

Just then I heard footsteps clamber down the stairs. They were too heavy to belong to Bella so I took time to look up and see the muscular teenager I knew was Emmett.

Alice looked between the both of us and introduced me. "Emmett, this is Edward. He'll be taking Bella out to dinner tonight." Emmett snorted with indifference and gave me a nod. There wasn't much of a chance to say anything before more footsteps were descending the staircase

I looked up to see Bella making her way toward me and I couldn't help but smile wide enough to show my teeth. The same smile swam across her face as well and I was suddenly more confident about what the evening had in store.

"Hey Edward." Bella said a bit more sing songy than I think she meant too.

"Hey." I paused to look her over. I noticed subtle curls peeking throughout her hair and Bella wore just a tiny bit of makeup making her brown eyes glow even brighter. Bella looked beautiful and I felt the need to tell her so. "You look beautiful Bella."

From the corner of the foyer I heard a muffled triumphant chuckle. Alice must have had something to do with the Bella standing before me.

"Thanks." Bella looked down bitting her lip and her face began to colour with a bit of red. She was blushing. And it was so damn cute.

"Shall we head out?" I asked.

"Sure. I'll just grab my coat." But Alice handed it to Bella right then as if wanting to get us out as quickly as possible with no disruptions.

"Alright well I'm guess we're going to go." Bella eyed her sisterly nervously wanting to prolong the exit a little longer. "See you guys...uhh later. Let's go Edward."

I heard Emmett grunt "Yeah, yeah" from the living room and Alice all but shoved us out the door telling us to have a good time.

I opened the car door for Bella to get in. I was extra cautious to make sure none of her limbs were in a percarious spot before closing the door. The engine roared to life and so did the music.

"Streetlights, Kanye. That's a great song." Bella grinned recognizing the tune. She turned to stare out the front windsheild as I pulled out of her driveway. I put on my seatbelt and headed toward our destination. All the while her hand tapped against her knee to the beat of the music and I resisted the urge reach my hand over and wrap her in mine. Any song that played thereafter recieved a positive compliment I knew was genuine. It wasn't her attempt at liking anything I liked which was common for some girls and even guys to do when they liked someone. Bella had a similar taste in music and my heart did a little happy dance in my chest. Much like me, music to her wasn't just music. Bella, who seemed much like in me this area, wasn't one to get caught up in the politics of music. It was more than that to her. Just like me, Bella felt music was more a feeling, it was significant and whatever had her singing a long she liked no questions asked.

_Was it possible to like this girl more than I already did?_

"So where are we going?" Bella's question put a stop to the little happy dance I was doing inside.

"There's this great little restaurant in Port Angeles. It's a bit out of the way but it's worth the little extra travel. I promise."

"Sounds great."

We fell into shy silence after that getting caught up in the mix CD still playing. Luck was on my side when I grabbed it from all the rest. For the rest of the drive we made small talk about music, bands we liked, bands we didn't and all that jazz.

When we finally reached the restuaraunt I took my precautions to open the door for her without causing bodily harm and led her arm in mine into the small restaurant.

The hostess led us to a table in the furthest corner of the room and I was thankful for the privacy. We ordered sodas to start and peeled open our menus. It didn't take long for either of us to make up our minds because we both set the menus down at the same time. The gesture made us both chuckle with shyness at the similarities in our actions. I could tell she was as nervous as I was.

The black turtleneck, I appreciated when she walked down the stairs, made Bella's breasts even more appealing than they already were. In order to keep my fantasies from running wild I kept my gaze on her eyes instead of her chest choosing up, right or left to dart my eyes when they left her stare.

_Anywhere but down._

Soon after we set our menus down the waitress came to take our order. She smiled sweetly enough to me as I ordered the mushroom ravioli but looked almost bored when Bella recited that she would have the same.

Our waitress returned not much longer disrupting the conversation Bella and I were having about all the things we had in common and how the weather was great for this time of year. The waitress set the food down with a suggestive grin in front of me placing Bella's in front of her with a little too much force.

We laughed together about the waitresses' weird behaviour looking down at our plates and eating in shy silence once again.

"The food is delicious Edward." Bella commented as she speared another ravioli.

I bit back the urge to rub a spot of tomatoe sauce from the corner of her lip with my thumb.

"How did you find this place?" Bella asked sweetly with curiousity.

"Carlisle used to take my mom here for her birthdays. She loved Italian food and when she found this place it was like finding a little piece of Italy close to home."

"That's the woman I saw you with at the hospital?" Bella held her fork just above her plate about to snag another bite of her meal.

"No. Actually Esme's my step-mom." I corrected and I saw her flinch at her mistake.

"Oh. I'm sorry." She whispered meekly.

"No no don't be sorry. My mom and I were close but her and dad had their problems. She left about ten years ago and I haven't really heard from her since." Her face looked sad but I made it a point not to make her feel bad for me. I sure as heck wasn't feeling bad about the whole thing.

"How did your dad and Esme meet?" Bella was curious but still tried to be careful about stepping over any boundaries. I was determined not to make her feel that way.

"My dad met Esme at a hotel when he was at a medical conference scheduled the same weekend as an interior decorating seminar." I replied biting into my own ravioli and smiling at the memory.

"How has that been for you? Seeing your dad with another woman."

I'd never really talked about my family stuff to anyone but it felt so comfortable doing so now with Bella sitting across the table. The look in her eyes was kind so I continued,

"Esme is great. She was meant to be a wife and mother. Even if I'm not her real son, she kind of makes me feel like I am. I was young when she came into my life so it was easier to get used to. It helps when I ever feel bitter about my mom leaving, but that's rare. Plus my dad's happy and that's all I could really want."

I carefully edited out the angst of the story. All that I remembered from the night my mom left was much too much for a first date. In time I might be able to explain to Bella why I wasn't as tortured over my mom leaving as might be expected and why sometimes I am bitter about it. For now it was enough just to sit across from one of the most beautiful girls in Forks and feel so at ease. It was almost like we'd done this before in some past life.

The nervousness I felt at the beginning of the date was slowly fading away.

**BPOV**

I looked at Edward then back down at my plate suddenly shy from prying into his personal life. Edward reassured me he didn't mind talking about his family and I believed him but I couldn't help feel a little giddy at him letting me in so easily.

The entire time we ate dinner Edward's eyes stayed fixated on mine. Most guys would normally steal a few glances at a girl's chest during conversation but not Edward. Maybe he wasn't like other guys after all. Edward had been a complete gentleman all night.

_Or maybe he was just like other guys and he was just not interested in my chest._

Rose and Alice must have overshot with the turtleneck and in reality my boobs didn't look as good as they'd thought.

I frowned a bit into my plate averting my gaze from Edward's.

"How about you? You said before your dad used to be a foster parent but you never mentioned your mom."

I peeked at him from my lashes stabbing a piece of ravioli but not picking it up.

"My parents divorced when I was still really young. She then moved to Pheonix with her new husband when he got a job playing minor league baseball. Both my parents got shared custody of me so I spent a lot of time going back and forth between them."

"Do they still share custody?" Edward inquired a kindness pouring from those topaz eyes I loved so much.

I poked still at the remanents on my plate feeling less ill at ease about talking about the whole thing. Edward made it easy to open up so I couldn't just not answer him,

"Sort of. Travelling so much between them cost a lot and my mom was always travelling with her new husband. The courts decided I should live with my dad because he provided a more stable environment. I visit my mom every now and then for about two weeks but we talk a lot and email each other so she's still very much a part of my life."

Talking to Edward was getting easier and I started to feel my nerves settle. It was like we'd done this before in some past life.

Once our food was done I rubbed my hands on my jeans during another one of our shy silences. Edward was admiring some of the artwork to the right of our table so I took the opportunity to examine his hand.

The scrapes were still scabbing and looked slightly painful but it they were Edward made no sign of it at all. I felt bad for having caused him that sort of pain while saving me. My instincts wanted to reach my hand toward his and kiss it in an endearing way of making it feel better as if it would be enough. I frowned again into my plate at the urge to touch Edward and feel him again like I had in bio and again during the accident.

I exhaled and he looked over from the paintings scrutinizing my pained expression. It may be easy to open up to him but it was too embarassing to admit to Edward I wanted to touch him. To assure him I was alright I smiled a small grin and examined him again. He knew what I was doing because I had done the same thing in the hospital.

"How are the bruises healing?" I said before Edward had a chance to ask me what was wrong.

It worked and the look of scrutiny disappeared.

"Umm. Good I guess. The one on my back is still a bit tender but nothing to complain about." He followed my eyes to the scrapes on his knuckles.

"And these guys," he acknowleded my silent inquiry by raising his injured hand and rubbing it lightly with the fingers of his other hand, "Are pretty much just scabs. I don't scar easily either so give it a few days and it'll be as good as new." Edward flashed his most reassuring smile easing some of the guilt I felt for putting him in a position for injury. He didn't seem to blame me for causing bodily harm so I was internally grateful to suffer silently only from the guilt I put on myself.

"How about you? You coping alright?" I looked back at Edward when he spoke a little surprised at the concern creasing his eyebrows.

"I'm still a littled wigged out if I hear tires screeching but other than that I'm fine." The worry still haunted his eyes and I made to reassure him that I really was okay.

"I have you to thank for you that." I was flirting a little with the curl of my lip when I answered so he'd stop worrying and believe me. "I think you asking me out saved me from some of the trauma." I chuckled lightly but not jokingly.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, worry replaced my puzzlement.

My face was beginning to heat up because of the answer.

"I guess I was too caught up trying to figure out if I'd be available to say yes, I barely noticed the car until you grabbed me and we were on the floor."

The blush spread quickly across my face and I couldn't help but laugh with how silly that might sound.

When I saw Edward he wasn't laughing instead he seemed to be relieved and his expression shifted.

We sat for awhile in amicable silence. It was nice not feeling like there constantly needed to be talking between us. I enjoyed his company as much as I could tell he was enjoying mine.

My heart gave a little leap at the thought.

**EPOV**

I told Bella I wanted to order dessert for her. If anything about tonight told me anything about Bella it would mean she would love what I chose.

She played with her hands under the table in anticpation using the comfortable silence to take guesses at what I'd picked.

The silence between us wasn't strained. In fact, it was just as comfortable as the time we spent talking. Instead of always exhanging words, we'd exchange glances and smiles and answering each other's quiet thoughts with our eyes.

I was becoming more comfortable avoiding any overly sexual thoughts about Bella. And it wasn't because I didn't find her attractive. No way. I definitely found her attractive. Bella was just different from any of the other girls I'd had any sort of relationship with. Constantly fantasizing about her made her seem more vulnerable than I knew she deserved. I vowed to be more respectful when I had alone time.

The waitress was quick to bring dessert and as I guessed Bella loved it. We ate our molten chocolate cake with murmured mmm's and compliments.

Before we both knew it dinner was done. I took my wallet from it's place in my back pocket and paid the bill. The waitress thanked us and I led Bella back to my car with her arm tucked under mine. I misstepped and faltered a bit forward pulling Bella along but remained standing. I flushed embarassed but she didn't laugh. Instead Bella wrapped her fingers in mine and kept walking.

Her hand was warm in mine and I was sad to have to let go to let her in the car. I sulked a bit walking over to the driver's side putting on my seatbelt. The mix CD in the stereo was starting over from the beginning so I suggested Bella look through the stash and find something she enjoyed.

"You've got some great music in here Edward" Bella said flipping through the pile of CDs. The compliment started the little happy dance I was doing earlier once more and my heart leaped like it did everytime Bella said my name.

"Thanks." I replied, "Did you find anything in particular you liked?"

Bella pulled one CD from the pile and placed it into the slot. I couldn't see which CD she had chosen but when the music started I knew it was another mix that had the songs written on the label of the disc.

_**Inside of Love - Nada Surf **_sang from the speakers and it summed up tonight perfectly.

Both Bella and I wanted to see the inside of love and whether we both recognized it as love or not, whatever we were feeling now we wanted to feel with each other.

The rest of the songs which played were mellow as we enjoyed a quiet drive back to Bella's house.

When the car was parked I made to open her door and let her out. Like a man should, I walked her to her front door. We stood not saying anything for awhile until Bella spoke first.

"I had a great time tonight Edward." My heart did it's little jump.

"Me too." I told her honestly.

Again we stood not saying anything. I stared into Bella's eyes and they answered my question.

I leaned in slowly placing my lips gently on the corner of her mouth for a peck. Bella's eyes locked on my with a look as though she was struggling internally with some decision.

Her lips met mine soon after and I answered her by moving my lips in sync with hers.

It only lasted three seconds but at that moment - it was the best three seconds of my life.

**BPOV**

Edward's lip were warm and welcoming. I felt overcome with happiness once we pryed our lips apart.

_I just kissed Edward freaking Cullen._

It only lasted three seconds but at that moment - it was the best three seconds of my life.

I reluctantly said goodbye leaving him on my front porch and watching him walk the short distance to his car.

When it pulled out of range of my house I smiled widely and did a small dance in the foyer. I leaned my back against the door and sighed dreamily.

_What a perfect first date. Ever._

"Ahem." Alice cleared her throat ripping me from my memories.

"I guess the date went well?" She concluded.

"It was perfect."


	6. Warm Reception

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: **__I thought it would be fun to see how the others were reacting to the new couple. It also gives details to further the plot. _

**Chapter 6 - Warm Reception**

**EmPOV***

_Emmett's POV_

Watching Bella and Edward together over the past week was painful. The two were always so cute and so polite but they barely ever touched besides the occasional peck on the cheek or hand holding. I mean, I know Bella was never for PDA but since she finally snagged a herself a boy her age I thought she would let loose a little. Let her hair down a bit.

_I was wrong. Of course._

The poor sucker was definitely not getting any.

I didn't know who to feel worse for; Edward for being a normal teenage guy like myself who's hormones must be raging at the lack of sexual attention, or Bella for being such a prude. It was almost enough to make me question who wore the pants in the relationship.

If Bella was anyone else and had Edward not saved her life I probably would tell them both to get a room and get it on already. But because both were undeniable truths I had to sit and suffer through their puppy dog love story and googly eyes.

Their lack of sexual anything was enough to make me want more than Rosalie was already willing to give. At the thought I subconciously rearranged myself and shifted my ass in the seat.

I wrapped my arm around my girl's shoulder as she went at it perfecting her makeup. I never understood Rosalie's constant need to put that stuff on because she was perfect the way she was; all blonde hair, blue eyes, nice ass and everything. A girl like that who could put up with my shit was heaven sent if you ask me. And I had her, all to myself, snuggled into my shoulder.

Bella sat down at the lunch table with Edward in tow holding the chair out for her like a gentleman.

_More like a pussy. _

Their whole relationship sprang from out of nowhere. One minute I find out Edward saved Bella from an out of control van the next the two are walking around school all blushes and staring at each other like they were the only people who existed. The whole school was buzzing about them too. In history I overheard Jessica Stanley groan to her friends about how Bella was too plain for a guy like Edward. I wanted to tell Jessica to shut the fuck up but Jasper made sure I kept my mouth shut.

The entire thing was nauseating. Every day for a week the guy was at my house making googly eyes at Bella as they scribbled away at homework while I either stayed glued to the television or left the room for anywhere but where they were. Bella and I didn't talk about her and Edward and that suited me fine. She was better off not hearing what I had to say.

Edward pushed Bella's chair in and took a seat himself right beside her.

My face tilted up in the couple's direction acknowledging their presence.

This was the first time Edward was sitting with us at lunch. Bella had spent the entire week after their dinner date preparing for this moment

"Hey guys" I heard Bella greet us.

I looked over at the new couple and saw Bella's hand brush over Edwards on the table before resting it over his in a shy attempt at holding hands.

I scoffed and looked down at my food. Rosalie had warned that any attempt at making Bella uncomfortable with the new situation would result in a little less fun for me. Charlie was going away for work again this week so I knew I had to keep my mouth shut if I wanted to have some of that fun while he was gone.

Truth was, my mood had nothing to do with not being able to be myself for a little while.

I just didn't trust Edward.

During the week Charlie had us go over to the Denali's for dinner. The Denali's were close family friends who just returned from a year long trip to Chicago to care for a sick relative. When we went for dinner I caught up with Tanya who had some interesting stories I hadn't shared with anyone, especially not Bella.

**RPOV**

_Rosalie's POV_

Emmet was staring at his food spearing it with unnecessary gumption. He seemed to be reluctantly obeying my wishes that he not make Bella feel uncomfortable while she was with Edward. Especially since this was the first time he was sitting with us at lunch. The two spent an entire week eating lunch alone together feeling each other out before Bella felt comfortable enough showing him off.

I knew it must be hard for Emmett to resist his usual behaviour of cracking dirty jokes and being boisterious and dirty-minded. I fingered on the last bit of my lipgloss and leaned into Emmett close enough to plant a small kiss on his neck. Nothing too PDAish so as not to be a hypocrite.

_He would be rewarded for his obedience. His dad was going out of town again this week and that would be the perfect time._

Emmett's eyes found mine when my lips parted from his neck and I shot him a naughty smile to cheer him up. Instantly his eyes widened catching my train of thought and he resumed eating his lunch like a normal human being, no aggression whatsoever. Satisfied, I went back to making sure my lipgloss was still glossy before welcoming the couple to the table.

"You guys know Edward," Bella addressed Emmett and Alice, "Edward this is Rosalie and Jasper." she spoke introducing Jasper and I.

Jasper nodded his head like guys do during introductions. My brother was not one to say much. He always said a lot more with his body language.

I put my compact into my purse and smiled.

"It's nice to _finally_ meet you."

Bella blushed at my emphasis on _finally_ and I gave her a look to let her know she didn't have to worry about Emmett.

"It's nice to finally meet you guys too. Bella's spoken very highly of you all." Edward replied in a formal tone.

I watched as Bella's cheeks turned rosey pink at the sentiment. Showing emotions and speaking highly of each other wasn't our usual behaviour. We all just fit together in a nice quaint group and it suit everyone really well. There was never a need to explain any of that to anyone else.

Edward's presence was embarking on a new frontier for the five of us. Personally, I wasn't sure if I was as enthustastic about it as Alice was. Not having Bella around at lunch made the lunch table feel unbalanced and unfamiliar. There was no bickering between her and Emmett. Everything was just peaceful. Now with her back and with Edward it changed the dynamic of the group which would take some getting used to.

_But I wasn't going to get all sappy about it._

"So Edward..." I heard Alice say, "How are you liking Forks so far?"

I started shuffling through my purse again not really caring to participate in the conversation. Instead I grabbed my nail file and did what I did best which was make myself look good for the only person that mattered -Emmett.

"It's green, and wet but overall I think it's great. People here have been very welcoming." he told Alice giving Bella an appreciative glance.

"Your friends don't look too happy to see you eating lunch with us" Jasper added pointing in the direction of Edward's old lunch table. Edward looked at the table remorsefully at his friends' disapproval.

"Oh." He said at a loss for words.

I gazed in the direction of Edward's friends. Jessica Stanley wore a sour look while Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley stared in bewilderment. The only people not looking bitter about Edward being at the table were Angela and Eric who were too caught up in their own romance to give a hoot about anyone else's. I nodded my head from side to side rolling my eyes.

_Who cared what they had to say anyway. _

The five of us were tight and I knew how it must look to others to have someone new sit with us. No one ever did. It had been that way since we were all young when it was the five of us against the world. It's not that we were particularly popular but we had a certain je ne sais quoi about us that kept others away yet intrigued them at the same time. People understood it and left us alone for the most part. There was no reason to think about it before until Edward looked back and forth from his old table to ours.

"They'll get over it eventually." Edward seemed convinced.

Alice, Bella and Edward did most of the talking after that with Jasper adding a few things here and there.

I rested my hand on Emmett's knee caressing it sweetly and moved closer to cuddle into the arm he had resting over my shoulder. It seemed Edward was getting along well with Alice and Jasper which from the look on Bella's face indicated she wanted badly for everyone to approve.

Emmett would be the hardest to convince and I, well, I wasn't sure I cared much.

Whatever Bella wanted to do with her life was her business.

I had Emmett and that was business enough for me.

**BPOV**

One week. Edward and I ate lunch together, alone, for one week. Why?

Because Edward and I were a couple.

_Can you believe that? A couple._

He'd asked me the night after dinner. Edward called it going steady and I couldn't help but smirk at his term for it. It seemed too proper yet so like Edward.

We decided to each lunch alone for a bit to spend more time getting to know each other. It also meant we didn't have to face our core group of people yet. I was pretty nervous even though he had met Alice and Emmett if only in passing. He had yet to see Emmett out in full force.

When the day came and Edward and I made our way to my usual lunch table, my stomach lurched worried about how the others would respond.

Emmett didn't look the least been happy about any of it. At least Rosalie had something to say before falling back into her usual routine. His behaviour made me feel a little guilty that one of the others might have forced him to shut the fuck up for once while Edward got to know everyone. My brother wasn't one to take stuff like that lying down because he didn't care what other people thought of him. Never in his life had Emmett ever cared but now he did and I guessed Rosalie had something to do with it.

_She's probably holding back in the sack._

I appreciated the thought behind the action but truth was I wanted Em to be himself around Edward just like I was and as everyone else should be. It was the only time I wished to have the old Em back. Everything with Edward came so easy and I knew it could withstand Hurricane Emmett.

The mood at the table just seemed off. There were no scandalous jokes or airhumping. Emmett wasn't purposely trying to get a rise out of me and I was disappointed. His antics were part of what made us _us_, I wanted Edward to be a part of that not the reason it all changed.

For the rest of lunch Emmett was silent staring at his food or whispering into Rose's ear. Only Alice and Jasper seemed to be making an effort where my relationship with Edward was concerned.

I didn't even get a chance to confront Emmett at the lockers because he was busy sucking face with Rosalie. Alice tried to keep the atmosphere light and drama free by making sure to fill every awkward silence.

There was no need for her to walk me to bio so Alice went off with Jasper while I clung to Edward's arm all the way to our seats.

"Hey is everything alright?" Edward squeezed my hand under the lab table when we settled on our stools.

I returned the squeeze affectionately and angled my body toward him.

"Yeah..." I tried lying but it was no use, "No not really."

People were filling the classroom slowly and I saw Mike Newton roll his eyes in our direction. It seemed to bother Edward a tiny bit so I tried to keep his mind off it by coming clean with why I was upset.

"Emmett wasn't himself at lunch today."

"And what's himself at lunch normally?" Edward asked tracing incomprehensible patterns on the back of my hand.

Since we started dating we worked to keep PDA at a minimum. I still wasn't comfortable flaunting Edward around like most girls in this school did with their boyfriends. Truth be told, we spent a lot of time connected at the mouth when no one was around. Whether in Edward's car afterschool or in the privacy of our bedrooms _'doing homework'. _Everyone had it in their heads that I was such a prude so they trusted us alone together. Edward was helping me shed my prude image slowly but I was still getting used to this whole relationship thing. Where sex was concerned Edward was the starting point I'd been looking for. Whenever he touched me I felt the electricity and I spent many a night taking cold showers. I guessed Edward must do the same because I'd caught him taking peeks down at his crotch during conversation.

"Emmet at lunch is loud, obnoxious and a complete ass," I went on letting my hand rest limp in his palm as he drew, "The way we like it. I really wanted you to meet everyone, and you sort of did... But that wasn't Emmett."

Edward's eyebrows raised in question, "What do you think was up?"

I didn't want to admit the possibility of someone in the group bribing Em to keep quiet as not to scare Edward away. Even worse I couldn't even consider the small chance Emmett disapproved of us or something. However, I couldn't lie either, especially not with Edward looking at me with those eyes burning holes in the ozone layer of my heart.

"Honestly?... I don't know..." It wasn't the whole truth but it was enough of one to avoid such a deep topic before our relationship got anymore intimate.

"Do you think he doesn't like me? or us?" Having Edward follow my train of thought threw me for a loop and I paused in panic before shaking my head.

It was neither a yes or no but Edward could tell my inability to answer meant there was some truth.

The hand Edward was still drawing on clasped his and I sent all of my positive energy I could too him. Whatever Emmett's problem with us was, we'd face it together.

That was the amazing thing about Edward and I.

**EmPOV**

Dinner was a somber affair.

Charlie wasn't home so it left Alice, Bella and I to eat pizza in the living room together.

It became tradition the year we were old enough to stay alone and stopped having to stay with the Denali's whenever Charlie had overnight work excursions.

_It had always been so cold in their house when we'd stay, as if they wished they lived somewhere colder._

Rosalie would be over soon so I'd keep distracted until then.

I grabbed for the remote changing the channels until I found a football game.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice murmered chewing her pizza slice.

"Nothing" Bella's voice sounded sharp and she tossed her pizza back into the box leaning her back against the couch sitting on the floor curling her knees to her chest for comfort.

"You know you're not a very good liar. Your face gives you away everytime," Alice teased, "Now, spill it."

There was a pause and a sigh before Bella was standing between me and the TV.

"Why don't you ask Emmett!" she said not meaning for it to sound childish.

I heard my name and looked up from the tv set confused.

"Huh?" I wondered having not heard the first part of their conversation clearly.

"You could have at least said something at lunch today Emmett." Bella sounded disappointed and I hated to look at her when emotion entered her eyes. It always seemed to make the situation worse.

"The entire week you haven't said one thing to Edward when he's over and then he sits with us at lunch and you say nothing. Absolutely nothing!," her voice was getting louder and I was beginning to feel bad, "All you do is suck face with Rosalie."

So Bella _had_ noticed my change in behaviour at lunch. I cursed Rose's bribe under my breath and knew it wasn't a sufficient excuse to cover that I didn't trust Edward.

Bella's face was red, not because she was blushing but because she was genuinely upset. I tossed the remote on the couch to give Bella my undivided attention.

"I thought I had to worry about you saying _too_ much when Edward was around instead you shut down and do nothing at all! You haven't even tried getting to know him when he's here. All you do is walk away."

I kept my mouth shut and crossed my arms around my chest.

"If you don't like Edward than say something! Please!. If it's not that, then tell me. This is a big deal for me and I thought of all people who would appreciate it I could count on you."

It must have hurt her pride to think I didn't approve but it would hurt more to know the truth. My best bet was to bite my tongue for now and give Edward a chance. Maybe all those things I'd heard from Tanya wasn't about the same Edward. Maybe I was imagining things because his name was Edward. However, I couldn't deny the parrallels. How many Edward Cullens who's dad was a doctor could there be in the world?

Luckily Bella was absent when Tanya relayed the details of her encounter with the mysterious Edward she'd met while in Chicago. She seemed a little bit too enthralled in the details but I let it slide. It was hard keeping it to myself when all I wanted to do was protect Bella's feelings. I knew more than anyway how sensitive a topic sex was for her, I didn't need a sexually expierenced teenage boy ruining it for her.

"Are you done?"

Bella shifted her weight between her feet and crossed her arms obviously not content.

"Look, it's not that I don't like Edward okay, I was trying to be polite and not scare him away." I answered and I could see relief behind her eyes as if that had been her original conclusion.

"Your relationship was just sudden, I mean..how much do you really know about this guy anyways?"

Alice shifted uncomfortably from her seat on the floor.

"What do you mean what do I know?" Bella looked angry now, "I've spent every day this week with him getting to know him and that's a heck of a lot more than you've done. You know nothing about him and you don't care to try!"

There was no winning this arguement. Whatever I knew about Edward didn't come with solid proof so telling her would only make things worse for everyone.

"Whatever. I don't need this." I told her beginning to get upset myself. "Do what you want." And I left the room.

I walked to my bedroom ignoring the distant sounds of continuing conversation behind me and slammed my door shut. A knock rapped the door a few minutes later and in no mood to see anyone I told whoever it was to leave me the fuck alone. Rose peeked her head in the doorway and I immediately apologized for telling her to fuck off. She must have shown up soon after my little tiff with Bella.

In a few steps Rosalie crossed the distance from the door to me and I pulled her waist to have her sit on my knee where I sat on the edge of my bed. Her body was a comforting weight on my knee and I rested my face in her neck trying to forget the fight with Bella.

"Em?" Rosalie took my hand as she sat in my lap. "Everything alright in that brain of yours?"

She caressed the back of my head with her other hand and I sighed into her.

"Just a little arguement with Bella." I told her as I stretched us onto my bed on my back dragging her parallel.

"So that was what Bella looked so upset about when I walked in." She realized.

Rosalie crawled up on me stradling me and I put my hands under my head eyes closed.

"Please tell me she wasn't crying." I asked, knowing if she did we were in for a long while of the silent treatment.

"No, but I'd be careful," Rosalie whispered in my ear, "She might just rip your balls off while you're sleeping."

We laughed and I was starting to feel a whole world better. Rosalie had that effect on me.

Her lips met mine, Rosalie still straddling me. As it went on the kiss intensified and I used my hands to rub up and down her sides copping a feel now and then. I saw her smirk before Rosalie slid down me and went to work unbuckling my pants. This made me sit straight up - in more ways than one.

_God yes, I needed it._

Rosalie worked her tounge up and down my cock like a pro filling her mouth with me and sucking gently. I couldn't count how many times she had done this before but everytime felt like the first and it felt fucking fantastic. She never over salivated or nibbled to hard and always used great suction. My chick worked the cock perfectly and the euphoria of it all made me grunt with pleasure. Her tounge did a little dance on the tip of my cock and I tugged at her hair in approval. I felt her hands clasp around my balls while her toungue continued it's dance down my shaft and I moaned loudly at the feeling.

_This must be the fun she was talking about._

Talk about some reward.

Her hands and mouth worked in sync with all new tricks to get me off. If being obedient meant I'd get to try new things then you could just slap a collar on me and tell me to sit. I'd do anything to get Rosalie to do this more often.

The feeling drove me nuts and I wanted nothing more than to be in her right now. To have her tight pussy around my cock so I could show her how much I loved her.

Before I could come I tugged at her hair again to slow her down. Rosalie's eyes lifted to meet mine and I was overcome with passion. She took it as a sign that I was almost done and worked harder. I lay back moaning and grunting and murmuring how much I liked what she was doing.

"Fuck I love you Rose." I said, overcome once again with passion and pleasure.

The pressure was building and I could feel the orgasm ripple through my entire body and I moaned aggressively. There was no time to let the orgasm filter through me before I was sitting up to see Rose wiping her face of me. I kissed her immediately and grabbed her body tossing her on the bed.

The movement startled Rosalie who giggled as I worked to remove her jeans.

"What are you doing?" she asked through more giggles.

I tickled her to give her a reason to laugh.

"This is supposed to be me giving you your reward." She said through her fit of laughter.

Her body trembled with muffled giggles under my fingers which made their way to remove her shirt.

"Fuck that, I want you too badly." I told her struggling with the complicated shirt she wore.

This was enough to get Rosalie to calm down enough to help get her shirt completely off leaving her in just her bra under me.

I let my hands roam over her chest massaging her beautiful lush breasts devouring them with my mouth. Rosalie pushed her breasts against my palms and I moved my lips to find hers again. One hand travelled down her body and I glided my hand to the warm spot between her leg rubbing the area with my palm. The movement made her moan into my mouth and the sound made me nibble her lip- my body's response to the needs running through us.

My hand continued rubbing while Rosalie moaned along with the motion of my fingers. I used my thumb to rub the area around her clit counter-clockwise then clockwise and back and I could feel her body shuddering with the pleasure.

Keeping my eyes on her I lowered my head dragging my tounge down her bare stomach raising gooseflesh. Her giggles as I did so were making me rock hard once again.

In one fell swoop I got her panties off and my tounge worked the counter clockwise to clockwise movements this time on her clit. Rosalie pressed the back of my head with her hands for more pressure so I obliged adding a finger to the mix. The feeling of my finger entering her allowed the sweetest groan to come from her lips. She moaned like that adding hmms and ha's to the mix.

"Oh, Emmett..oh.. fuck." Rosalie whispered in pleasure, "mmmmmm, lick it baby."

I always loved hearing Rosalie talk when she was horny. It was dirty talk at it's finest.

My bedroom was adjacent to Bella's and there was a low hum of music coming from her room.

_Whatever._

I worked my girl's clit a little longer occasionaly slowing down and stopping to fill my hands of her body and letting her take in all the pleasure.

When foreplay was enough and I knew Rosalie was satisfied for the time being I crawled back to hover over her. Kissing her passionately I reached for my cock, which was rock solid, and guided it between her thighs which were already super wet. A loud moan proceeded my movements as I penetrated deeper with every pull in and out.

"I love you." I said in the throws of love making.

"I love you too." She answered as our bodies mingled together with love.

We worked the missionary position for awhile before I rolled her over into the doggy-style position. Rosalie leaned up pressing her back into my chest with each thrust of my cock in her pussy. I wrapped my hands around her breasts squeezing them while she continued with the dirty talk.

Sweat beaded our foreheads with the effort but we continued our movements. Rosalie, now on all fours became louder in her moaning as she came closer to orgasm. I kept thrusting, holding back so I could come along with her.

To help things along one hand reached around to find her clit and started rubbing receiving appreciative responses from Rosalie. We rocked together and I worked to somehow get deeper loving the feeling of the tightness of her pussy around me. I, myself, grunted with satisfaction feeling more of the pleasure when I knew my chick was getting off. It made me feel impossibly more accomplished whenever I got Rosalie off. She seemed like a hard girl to please but I had it down pact in the bedroom.

One more loud moan and I could hear the low hum of music from before become a louder lull of music meant to drown out the sounds of lovemaking. I didn't feel bad or embarassed because it was natural to Rosalie and I. It was how we really showed each other how much we loved one another. I'm sure Bella would understand some day.

Rosalie rocked her hips as I penetrated her and I knew she was reaching her peak.

"Oh baby, I'm gonna cum." her moan was breathless this time, overwhelmed with feeling, "You're gonna make me cum. mmmmm. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm cumming, I'm cumming."

I thrusted harder and when I came I felt her shuddering orgasm flow through her, tightening more around my cock than before reaching my own shuddering form. I hovered over her awhile longer still mingled together kissing her gently and wiping the heat of sex from her face.

We stared at each other too exhausted from sex and let our eyes and body do the talking.

The heat became too much and we hopped from the bed and into the shower together. I embraced her wrapping my arms around her hips, hugging her.

We made love again in the shower and once more before we finally fell asleep exhausted and once again warm from the heat of passionate love.

_**A/N:**__So the smut wasn't B&E yet but next few chapters will see a new side to their relationship._

_Perfect song I felt went good with Rosalie and Emmett this chapter and in general._

_**Lover's Day - TV on the Radio**_

_The whole Tanya thing isn't great but it'll mean something later. I hope it made some sort of sense._


	7. Cold Hard Truth

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: **__Some people think this will become a love triangle between B, E and Tanya but I promise you, it won't. Whatever Emmett mentioned about Tanya and Edward is history, something that happened in the past. You'll see why I added it eventually as the plot progresses._

**Chapter 7 - Cold Hard Truth**

**BPOV**

His hands were creeping up my back bringing my shirt along with them. I wiggled to bring the shirt back down but Edward's hands were pretty persistent.

"Edward?" I said still planting kisses on his neck.

"Hmmmm?" Edward murmured doing the same to the spot where my shoulder met my throat. The feeling was incredible but if I didn't stop now Charlie would send a search party out looking for me.

Time spent with Edward was getting increasingly later and later and Charlie wasn't too pleased to have his obedient daughter now slacking on her curfew. I cringed at the thought of Charlie's reaction if he knew why I turned up late some nights. Whatever he'd do, I knew Edward would be the one to suffer more physically because of it.

"I should get going before Charlie aims his gun in your direction." I teased but tried to sound serious at the same time.

The kissing stopped and he looked at me with lust lingering in his eyes.

Edward had been really respectful of my limits where sex were concerned. He never pushed for anything I wasn't comfortable doing and I was glad to have found the one boy in Forks who wasn't all about sex.

_Although_, there was a slightly embarassing incident when Edward got a little _too_ excited while making out but I found it didn't bother me that he was getting turned on by what we _were_ doing. In fact, it made me feel a little shy that I didn't know how to go about helping him or letting him know I felt the same. The whole thing turned me on too but I blushed at the idea of ever approaching him about others ways for us to deal with it. Plus. I had no idea what I would be comfortable doing.

"I guess you're right. You should head inside then." his voice was a little sad but Edward knew I was right.

I leaned over the middle console in the car, kissed his cheek and then his lips. Edward closed his eyes and smiled while I grabbed my stuff and exited his car. When I looked back Edward rested his head against the headrest watching me walk into my house. He turned the car on when I got my keys out to unlock the front door. The car pulled away and I smiled alone on the porch before making my way inside.

Being with Edward was the best feeling in the world. There weren't really words to articulate what I felt but I didn't have to do so. Feeling it was enough.

"Glad to see you turned up before curfew." Charlie spoke from the middle of the staircase. I could tell Charlie had been waiting for me to walk through the doors because the words sounded a little breathless from running up the stairs to look innocent.

_I hoped he couldn't see what was going on in the car._

But then I remembered it was dark out and it was probably impossible to get a good view.

He descended the stairs and I blushed because Charlie seemed to be pretty down to earth about the whole having a boyfriend thing. As long as I still followed his rules, Charlie didn't mind me being in a relationship. In fact, I guessed Charlie was probably just as happy about me finding someone as Alice couldn't help but express. My other siblings were coupled up so long before now while I went on in life solo surrounded by couples and love. I thought it might be some running joke about when I actually would find someone and doing so would make my family more complete. This is should have been a happy time but it was so bittersweet not having Emmett be happy for me.

I didn't know what his deal was but Emmett's reaction to my relationship obliderated the one I constructed in my head. I imagined Emmett making sly jokes about my non-existent sex life and poking fun at my naivete just like always. And when his joking got to be too much I would have Edward to defend my honour and then we'd all laugh together because whether or not I was having sex it wouldn't bother me anymore to start feeling what everyone else was living.

I locked the door behind me and answered, "Of course."

"There's leftovers in the fridge if you want to heat them up," Charlie said before turning to walk up the steps again, "I'm going to bed."

"Night Dad." I called, "Love you."

"Love you too sweetheart." I heard him say a little mumbled, "You better hit the sack soon too, we've got to be up early in the morning if we don't want to be late to meet the Denali's. They missed you at the dinner last week."

_Crap._

Being with Edward took up a lot of time over the past little while. I knew the Denali's returned recently from a long visit to Chicago and I was absent from their welcome back dinner so there was no getting out of this visit.

"Right, the picnic, I'll be there." I forced a smile.

The plans slipped my mind. I forgot about the picnic my dad organized with the Denali's the next morning to welcome them home. Charlie also invited Edward.

"Edward still coming?" Charlie paused and turned his head to meet my gaze at the bottom of the stairs.

No case of cold feet could get out of Charlie's invitation to bring Edward along either.

"Yes Dad, he's still coming." I would have to call Edward and make sure he didn't forget like I had.

I heard Charlie murmur before he disappeared up the stairs. As soon as he was out of sight I shuffled to the kitchen and grabbed the phone dialing Edward's cellphone.

This picnic would be the first time Edward would be sitting down as my boyfriend in a formal setting. Edward met Charlie the night of our second date when he came to my house to pick me up. Ever since we'd escaped any parental interogation thus far choosing to dine out instead of eating in and picking times when no parents were home. Even with Edward's parents, I only met them briefly when I was over to work on a biology assignment and both were home early.

Tomorrow would be a different story of course. Edward would be spending a lot of time making small talk with my father and getting the third degree. No matter how much my dad _approved _of me being in a relationship, he would still need to be sure Edward proved good enough the be that guy. That thought didn't bother me as much as it should because I believed Edward fit the position really well. There were no doubts about that.

And not only would it be a formal meeting with Charlie but Edward would also meet the second closest family I had - The Denali's. I spent many nights at their house when Charlie went on overnight work trips and deemed my siblings and I too young to stay home alone. We'd known the family our entire lives and besides Rosalie and Jasper, the Denali kids were the only ones Alice, Emmett and I ever really spent time with growing up.

And this made tomorrow seem more ominous. The picnic and the formal introduction wasn't the only thing starting to make me uneasy.

I became suddenly aware Tanya would be there and it made me less excited about the possibilities. Tanya was so beautiful and so experienced it made Emmett's dirty jokes and sex talk seem tame in comparison when it came to making me feel left out. If being a virigin ever affected my self-confidence then it definitely did being around Tanya. The girl oozed sex appeal. Not even Rosalie could stand Tanya batting her eyes at Emmett and Rose and Em were as solid as could be. Even Alice, I noticed, seemed more attached at the hip with Jasper when we'd be with the Denali's.

I became suddenly more weary of bringing Edward around. I trusted Edward whole heartedly but thinking about Tanya oozing her sex appeal all over him caused my stomach to lurch painfully. Girls like Tanya landed guys like Edward, not plain, ordinary girls like me.

_Maybe I could catch a stomach virus and barf all day to get out of going._

I considered it for a second but shook it off knowing it would be impossible. Instead I listened to the ringing of the phone hearing Edward's angelic voice answer,

"Hello?"

"Edward, hey, it's Bella." I said biting my lip anxiously hoping maybe he forgot about tomorrow.

"Hey, I'm glad you called. I meant to ask you this when I dropped you off but we, uh, got a little distracted." There was a smile in his voice and I started panicking, "What time should I be at your house tomorrow?"

I choked before whispering, disappointed he remembered, "Tomorrow.."

"I am still invited to the picnic right?" Edward wondered while I stood silent wrapping the phone cord around my index finger.

"Of course." I gave in not bothering to make him forget. I could handle this. "That's actually why I called, "Be here around ten?"

"Sounds great. I'm really looking forward to it." he sounded hopefull.

I tried not sounding defeated but spoke anyways, "Me too. See you tomorrow Edward."

"Same. Good night Bella."

"Mmmhmm."

I replaced the phone on it's holder and cowered to my bedroom.

After tonight I needed a shower turning the water to cold and letting the freezing water tense my body. It wasn't that I was horny from my latest makeout session with Edward but the ache of the cold water made me long for the expierence that made me feel so left out and naive. I didn't want to feel the pressure to be sexually active but I was constantly being bombarded with reasons other people were. Could masturbation be enough to tide me over? I mean, how would I know I was ready anyways?

The question lingered for awhile until I realized the many other things besides sex I'd yet to experience.

When the cold water got to be too cold I turned the tap off and got out. I put on my pyjama's and went to bed dreaming about Edward.

***

When the morning came, the sun exploded into my bedroom radiating heat. I opened my eyes to see Alice standing over me wearing a huge smile that matched the sunlight.

"Come on Bella, get up." She sang, "You have got to get ready." Her smile seemed to add more sunlight to the room and I cringed away hiding my face under a pillow.

Alice peeled the pillow from out of my hands and I groaned at the interuption.

"Fine. I'll be down in a little bit" and I flopped onto my stomach, "Tell Charlie not to leave without me." I told her hoping she'd leave.

"Don't forget you and Edward are riding with Jasper and I today. Edward will be here soon." Alice replied still smiling widely and I wondered if her face ever hurt from smiling too much.

Alice looked forward to today more than anyone because the three of us were bringing our significant others to the picnic. We all finally had someone to call our own and I guessed Alice was happy not to see me alone anymore. Now she didn't have to feel so bad while her and Emmett sucked face with their other halves.

She pulled the covers from over my body and skipped out of my bedroom to give me privacy to get ready.

A few moments later I made my entrance and sat at the dining room table where the others were already eating their breakfast. I settled for a bowl of cereal and took a seat beside Alice and across from Emmett.

Charlie and Alice tried inconspicuously to leave the kitchen so Emmett and I could be alone. It was their way of telling us to make up already and get back to normal. The effort of leaving was harder on Alice who wanted to stay and hear us make up. Emmett didn't look up from his breakfast to notice the two of us were finally alone. I mulled over what to say before settling with the most simple yet most meaningful phrase for this situation.

"I'm sorry," we said in unison then burst into laughter at the coincidence.

"Can I go first?" Emmet said which surprised me so I nodded and let him continue.

**EmPOV**

Today's picnic would bring Tanya and Edward together if Edward turned out to be the right Edward Tanya mentioned. The fact I even made the connection surprised even me and when I confided it to Rosalie she felt I was only doing what I thought best to protect Bella's feelings. I did not want to be the one to tell Bella but it would be worse for her to hear it come from Tanya who would recall the meeting in painstaking detail and crush Bella and ruin the happiness she found with Edward.

No, if anyone was going to say anything to Bella it would have to be Edward and if seeing Tanya today stirred anything in him I hoped it would be enough to come clean and he honest about his past.

What I observed of Bella and Edward since they got together showed me he was a respectful kind of guy. Even with raging hormones which I knew came with being a teenager, Edward didn't seem to be pressing Bella for anything more than what she was comfortable with- whatever that was. Bella never seemed as happy as she did being with Edward and I was thankful for him coming into her life.

All this led to this moment when I would suck up my pride and apologize.

"I'm sorry. I was a pretty huge dick to you and you didn't deserve that." I saw Bella smile a bit at my language and my apology began to feel more comfortable.

"You deserve better than that from me Bells, and I fucked up..." I said trying not to spill the beans about what I knew. "Forgive me?"

Her eyes became devious but I knew she was considering my peace offering.

"Do you promise to give Edward a chance?" She said point blank and the stipulation complicated my apology.

"Only if you promise to accept the fact there are things you don't know about Edward." My response wasn't what she was expecting and I saw the flicker of surprise in her eyebrows.

Bella didn't answer immediately. She waited a moment mulling it over as if not wanting to accept my truth. If she did, I was hopefull Bella and I could start talking again and be normal.

"I accept." she said finally.

"Then I accept." I smiled happy at the resolution of our conflict.

There would be no way of helping her when the truth came out if she was mad at me as well.

We both finished breakfast and tossed the dishes into the sink, the cue for Alice to skip back into the kitchen to see Bella and I smiling and talking again. Charlie gaves us his own paternal smile, relieved to have his family whole again and not at each other's throat. That sort of behaviour was nothing like us. There was always a deep respect with everyone.

On our way out to the cars Bella shuffled to my side and nudged her elbow into me whispering, "And if we're being honest, Em, I kind of missed your witty sexual banter. It always made me feel better about keeping my vagina in my pants."

I laughed hysterically because I knew how my jokes affected my sister. Most often she scoured and walked away but lately she had been adding to the humor telling her own versions.

The idea of Bella having finally taken her very own cold shower wasn't the reason I believed she didn't scour when I bugged her. Bella was an innocent girl with just as much hormones as the next girl, but unlike Rosalie, it didn't seep through her clothes and onto every male in sight. Most of my teasing sprang from a brotherly instinct to make sure Bella took the sex thing seriously. No one wanted their sister to be experimenting with different guys. I wanted to make her aware of all the temptations but show her how much more special and important it becomes when you're with someone you love. I felt it with Rosalie and Alice, I assumed with certainty, felt it with Jasper.

_Maybe Bella could find it with Edward, but I hoped they would wait._

Bella reached for her jacket just as the doorbell rang. Rosalie arrived during my makeup with Bella so I immediately went to her side and wrapped her in my arms touching her lips with mine.

"Hi." I heard Edward's voice from the foyer.

This would be interesting.

**EPOV**

Standing in Bella's foyer with the entire Swan clan and company staring at you made me feel a little nervous about today.

Bella mentioned the picnic a few days ago to which Charlie formally invited me. I accepted the offer to be polite but spending the whole day with your girlfriend's father in the middle of some meadow was a daunting prospect. The entire day would be dedicated to proving to Charlie, and basically her entire family, that I was a good guy for Bella. Despite Bella's reassurances that everyone would love me I felt my stomach do a little flip thinking about it.

I was doing this for Bella. This was my chance to show everyone how much I cared for her and I wouldn't fail.

"Hey Edward." the little pixie voice greeted me.

"Morning Alice." I returned the greeting and smile she sent me.

Jasper wasn't far behind giving me a nod so I nodded back and turned my head to meet Bella's stare beside me.

"Shall we go then?" It was Charlie now, coming from the kitchen," Nice to see you Edward."

"Same, Chief Swan." I replied, hanging on tightly to Bella's hand.

"Call me Charlie." he told me and I nodded to show I understood.

"Alright then, Emmett, Rosalie you'll be riding with me in Bella's truck." Charlie told everyone and I caught the groan from Emmett who obviously hoped to take his own truck _or beast, whichever term you liked for it because his truck was intimidating._ "Bella, Edward, you'll be riding with Alice and Jasper."

Alice nearly jumped up and down while we all made our way to our assigned vehicles.

"Remember Jasper we're going to the meadow just off the highway, follow me though, and we'll park where the path begins. When we do we'll all grab something and hike down to the opening." Charlie's ordered soliticted a unamious understanding and maybe a few groans at the word hike.

The prospect of hiking made me cringe thinking about all the branches, twigs and other obstacles just waiting for me to make a complete fool out of myself in front of Bella's entire family. I cursed my clumsiness repeatedly under my breath and focused.

In my reverie I felt Bella's warm hand squeeze mine and I turned my head to her squeezing back. I knew it was her way of encouraging me, to let me know it would all be okay and I so badly wanted to kiss her then. However, PDA in a crowded car really wasn't our thing. Her eyes told me the same story and it made me want to kiss her even more. I settled on tangling my hands with hers and caressing my thumb where it met her hand.

Not too long after we reached the opening where the path began and parked. Charlie assigned us each something to carry and I followed behind Bella to where they were holding the picnic.

For the most part the path was clear of tiny obstacles and the blankets I was carrying made it easier to keep an eye out. As soon as we neared the opening, voices followed us to the path indicating the Denali's were already there setting up.

I dropped the blankets and Bella's hand was in mine right after. I let her hand go to wrap my arms around her waist, which she accepted with a big grin, because it exceeded our hand holding only policy for PDA in front of family. It seemed to be okay by everyone else who looked at us with childish glee.

_It must make everyone happy to see Bella with someone and not alone, especially since her siblings had been together with their significant others so much longer._

I felt my pride swell knowing I was the one that made Bella part of a whole. The swell made my arm hug tighter around her waist needing her closer.

And that's when I saw her.

This time my arm squeezed tighter around Bella's waist but not with pride, with desperation. My eyes locked with the green stare across the meadow attached to the strawberry blonde locks I knew so well.

_What. The Fuck._

It seriously could not be Tanya. I met her last year before I moved to Forks. What in the world was she doing here now?

And I felt stupid because of course she was a Denali, the rest of her family were scattered and coupled up leaving only a middle aged woman and Tanya the only ones unnattached.

_You've got to be fucking kidding me_.

I cursed repeatedly under my breath.

Bella looked at me quizzically noting the distress in my eyes which I quickly hid flashing her a big smile and turning her away from Tanya.

When I looked back I saw the surprise in Tanya's eyes as they looked from my face to my arm around Bella and back. I prayed this was evidence enough to not say anything.

My past was one thing I had yet to reveal to Bella. We never talked about sex so I never felt it right to tell her I wasn't a virgin. I wanted to tell her when she asked so that my declaring the fact wouldn't have her thinking because I've had sex that it was what I wanted from her. It was far from the truth. I wanted Bella, whether it came with sex or not.

Hopefully I could sneak Tanya aside and ask her politely not to say anything until I could. And I knew I should and I knew it would hurt but I also knew Tanya and I needed Bella to find out from me and me alone.

Emmett was staring at me and then at Tanya trying to disect our silent interaction. I tried to look reassuring to Emmett, to show him I wasn't interested and he seemed to believe me but I guessed it was because I now looked determined.

Bella would know everything, I would get it off my chest and deal with the consquences. This sounded better than having Tanya describe, in much detail, my physical anatomy to my girlfriend who I barely got to second base with.

I braved all the introductions meeting Sasha Denali, her son Vasilii, her daughter Irina and her partner Laurent. Sasha mentioned her other daughter Kate who was off studying abroad and couldn't make it. That left only Tanya to which to be formally introduced and I silently hoped Bella would forget about it and we could sit down and just talk.

"Tanya! Over here!" Sasha called to Tanya who's head shot back in our direction.

Tanya paused for a moment and I realized why she didn't immediately come in our direction when we arrived. A port-a-potty was set up a little further behind where she stood. At her mother's invitation to come on over Tanya stood waiting for a tall figure to get out of the portable washroom. The guy swung his muscular around her shoulders and Tanya looked at me again this time the desperation seeped in her eyes as she looked from her boyfriend back to me.

_So she wouldn't say anything to Bella because her boyfriend was there. _

This glimmer of hope released a relived sigh from my lungs and Bella looked at me again quizzically and I reassured her by looking straight into her eyes letting my topaz glare simmer a little into her heart.

I would still tell her everything. I owed it to her.

Tanya and her mystery man walked up to where Bella and I were standing and her mother quickly introduced us,

"Honey, have you met Bella's boyfriend yet?" she asked, and I watched Bella blush at all the attention our relationship received.

Tanya shifted a little uncomfortably but not enough for anyone to notice anything wrong. Her shift put Emmett straight in my field of vision and he was staring, watching us. I wondered what Emmett's problem was but I wasn't about to approach him about it now.

"Umm, Hi Edward." And I knew not saying yes or no meant she didn't want to lie, "Hey Bella, we missed you at the welcome back dinner last week."

_Welcome back dinner?_

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. But I'm here today and I'm looking forward to it." Bella answered kindly but a little hesitant. Bella tugged at her outfit at my side and smoothed her hair of which wasn't normal Bella behaviour.

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Bella questioned looking at the mystery man at Tanya's side.

"Jacob this is Bella. Bella this is my boyfriend Jacob."

Jacob extended his hand in Bella's direction and she reached to meet his. I stifled a laugh at how ridiculously small her hand looked in comparison to Jacob's massive one.

"Nice to meet you" the two exchanged and then it was my turn to enter the introductions.

Once we were all introduced and obviously a little uncomfortable we sat down to eat in friendly converstation, me making small talk with my girlfriend's father.

The rest of the day was spent playing touch football to which I was thankful Bella didn't want to join. It left her and I to talk amoungst each other alone and I decided now was the time to take Bella aside and tell her everything.

Tanya sent a cautious look in my direction as I led Bella along another path to a smaller meadow, this one with a small stream running through it.

**BPOV**

It was tradition to play touch football when we had these picnics but I came to the conclusion that not making an ass out of myself in front of Edward was worth breaking tradition. Plus, no one seemed to mind as they were busy relishing in my newfound companionship.

The time they spent playing left Edward and I alone to talk. I explained to him the reasoning behind the picnic and the whole welcome back concept of which he seemed very intrigued to know. While I talked I couldn't help but catch his brief glimpses at Tanya but I expected as much.

No one just looked once at Tanya, she was a second glance type of girl.

I tugged at my clothing self-consciously and whenever I did Edward would reach for my hand and place a kiss on my knuckle as though he were reading my mind.

After some time he asked if I wanted to take a walk and I agreed, appreciative of the distance between my boyfriend's eyes and Tanya.

We stopped when we found a smaller meadow and I walked immediately to the little stream running through it swirling my fingers in the cold water.

When I turned to see Edward, he was rubbing on hand up and down his arm as if finding the words for some discussion he'd been planning. A nervous dread spread over me and my smile drooped as I stood to face him more solidly.

"Edward? Is everything okay?" I asked, my voice a little shaky.

"We need to talk." Edward said.

_This is never a good sign._

I instinctively wrapped my arms around my abdomen and waited for him to go on.

"There's something I need to tell you. Something you need to hear from me before you hear it from someone else."

His voice seemed just as full of the nerves my body began to feel.

Not being able to stand suspense I took a seat on the nearest boulder and went on waiting. Edward paced around a few times and I began feeling more uneasy and pessmistic.

"So.. this isn't my first time meeting Tanya." he spoke looking at me assessing my reaction.

My eyes grew wide with shock but I said nothing before he went on.

"It was before my family even considered moving to Forks and we didn't exactly exchange details when we met, so it's a huge coincidence to be at a picnic here right now where she is."

I looked to the ground trying to make sense of what he was telling me but I couldn't.

"What exactly did you exchange then?" I said a little sharply.

Any sense of self-confidence I lost being around Tanya took a huge blow learning he'd already fallen prey to her. I couldn't blame him, if I were a guy with a penis I'd probably put it in her too.

"My virginity?" his voice replied bluntly but it sounded more like a question as if trying to be honest but not wanting to cross any boundaries where this situation was concerned. He was testing my sense of humor as if it would get him off the hook.

_Real funny Edward. You're basically telling me if we ever have sex I'd be compared to Tanya by default. _

_Great._

_Just great._

My self-confidence just kept going lower and lower.

"Me not being a virgin isn't going to change anything between us. At least I don't want it too and I mean it hasn't yet." At his answer I shot him a look that I hoped relayed the message _'That's because I didn't know', _so he kept talking trying to make things better.

"I want you Bella. Only you. I don't care if we never have sex, because I want you, only you and if sex isn't what you want then I don't need it. All I need is you. With me. That's all."

He talked in circles for awhile going on about how I was enough for him and that he wanted what I wanted. I suddenly felt guilty that he would give up sex if I wasn't ready. Given the circumstances it was the sweetest things anyone could ever say.

I didn't speak right away. I ran over what he was telling me in my head wondering if I was an idiot for accepting what seemed to be a confession and apology combined.

Edward could have Tanya if he wanted it but he didn't. He didn't even have to tell me all this but he did. He said all the right things, with a straight face and hope in his eyes. I buried my head in my hands feeling a little inferior now knowing my boyfriend had more experience than I did. It did make sense though, and a thought entered my brain before I could realize it.

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted before I thought about it.

Edward looked away ashamed and I wanted to laugh but not at him.

"Not you, Edward. Emmett."

The mood in the meadow shifted and now Edward was the one left speechless.

"Emmett must have known something. I wasn't at the dinner they had, Tanya must have mentioned something and Emmett must have made the connection..." I felt like I was putting together a weird jigsaw puzzle but everything started to make sense; why Emmett was so standoffish about Edward, why he warned me there might be stuff I didn't know about him etc.

My brother was looking out for me and I smiled at the gesture.

Confusion now coloured Edward's face and I made my way over to stand directly in front of him. This didn't mean I wasn't at all upset about him and Tanya but Edward basically professed his feelings for me so I was overwhelmed with the emotion.

I brought my hand to cup his cheek and looked directly into his topaz eyes.

"Thank-you." I said and stood on tiptoe to place my lips on his.

"So, you're not breaking up with me?" he asked, still so close to my face.

This time I had to laugh.

"No, but I'm not happy. I mean look at her." And I turned my head in the direction where everyone was but without seeing them.

His arms embraced my waist and he pulled me nearer kissing me softly but full of passion.

"She's nothing compared to you Bella."

I couldn't help but let out a short laugh again at the predicament but my self-confidence did a giant leap because Edward's worth were full of honesty.

I reached my lips to meet his fiercely and it only grew with passion. Edward's hands moved up the back of my shirt and this time I didn't wiggle from out of his grip. Instead, I let his hands roam free feeling his cold flesh on bare skin and shivered. My hands did some roaming of their own climbing up inside his shirt and feeling his skin all muscle and flesh under my fingers. With the passion I dug my nails harder into his sides solicitating a groan which sent a breathless moan from my throat into his ear. I could feel his hands roam higher and his thumbs cascade over my nipples through the thin sheer of my bra. It felt so good, much better than when I did it that's for sure.

All the touching felt so natural. To have Edward's hands where they were and where mine were exploring felt like it was supposed to. There was no scary naive approach just pure unadultered lust we changed into something more. I wasn't sure it was love just yet but it was more than what I felt at the beginning.

We lay down on the soft ground still exploring this time one of his hands reaching lower and in between my thighs. The slimy stuff I knew came with being turned on was probably soaking my panties right now but I didn't care. I left one hand to roam his chest while the other played around with his belt before feeling hardness through his jeans.

Edward sat us up then and pulled my shirt upward exposing my stomach and using his arms to prop me up so his face could plant kisses on my stomach. The feeling tickled and I giggled as he did so.

It could have gone on forever but a distant voice was calling for us and we immediately pulled apart.

Edward was still hard and noticable as well. If he followed another path he could reach the port-a-potty without being seen. We split up then with a quick peck.

I made my way alone back to the group citing Edward's trip to the washroom to explain his absence. Alice sent me a smirk while Jasper smiled with silent laughter. Everyone stared and I rearranged my hair to smooth out any indication of being ruffled. Rosalie was focused on reapplying her lip gloss after the game of touch football when I took a seat beside Emmett. I could tell he was suppressing a joke so I stomped on his foot before he could say anything.

Emmett evaluated my face for any distress or any other negative emotion but I reassured him things were fine. When no one was looking a mouthed a thank you for looking out for me and he sighed at my response, probably thankful I didn't rip him a new one for being a jackass and lying.

The picnic ended not too long after. We said our goodbyes and I tried my best to be polite to Tanya despite her taking my boyfriend's virginity. I figured she didn't relay the details to me because her boyfriend, who was intimidatingly tall and muscular, probably would have done something stupid. I thanked the big guy in my head for being an obstacle and for keeping Tanya's sex appeal between the two of them.

Edward and I were headed in a new direction. I can't say I wasn't a little hesitant. This whole thing was still new too me but I was certain I wanted to explore it with Edward.

**EPOV**

Bella took the news surprisingly well. I felt bad for making her think less about herself but in comparsion Tanya really had nothing on Bella. Sure, Tanya wasn't bad to look at, I could give her that, but there wasn't much else.

Bella and I were headed in a new direction and wherever that was headed I could be certain I wanted to explore it with Bella.


	8. Radiating Heat

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: I just realized what a huge mistake I made. I was editing a draft of this in Word and instead of copying all of what I had back into wordpad, I only copied the tailend. I've since gone back and fixed a couple things and replaced the chapter with the proper copy.**_

_**Smut alert :) **_

_**Thank you reviewers :D **_

_**Enjoy anyways.**_

**Chapter 8 - Radiating Heat**

**BPOV**

Everything was perfect.

Over the next few weeks Edward and I explored second base thoroughly and our private encounters were starting to make me dizzy with the euphoria of it all. Who knew it was possible to have that many orgasms without ever taking our clothes off?

To our benefit Charlie spent a lot of time lately doing overtime at work following the latest case of wild animal meets unsuspecting victim in small town. Over the years there were plenty of reported cases of wild animals wandering into small towns hungry and unfortunately some small town folk fell prey to their hunger. One small benefit of a small town setting—human crime never caught up with the wildlife.

A lot of the time together recently Edward and I spent cooped up in my room somehow exploring each other further without actually removing any clothing. It left this barrier between us daring either to go past their limits. Wanting Edward this badly made me reconsider everything I believed previously.

So, as I lay under his brooding figure, his lips kissing circles in the nook of my neck, I decided I needed to take a breather. I wiggled up from under his warm body over me and Edward. realizing what I was doing, lifted himself off and sat cross-legged beside me. His hands guided my frame onto his lap and we sat breathing quietly for a moment. Edward and I rocked together basking in the warmth of lust and whatever it was we felt for each other.

Out of my seventeen years, the past few weeks were the best ever.

Emmett finally came around and the image of us together I originally pictured was coming to life. Every day at lunch, Emmett would make some sly remark about my sex life and his cold shower analogy and Edward would step in and defend my privacy making us all laugh together with friendly noise.

Edward became one of us. And I loved it.

The music in the background was audible again and I could hear the song playing on the stereo. _**Just One Second - London Elektricity**_. I praised the magic of drum and bass and when I looked back to see Edward enjoying the music I instinctively aware of now being the time to go one step further. We stayed like that for a while longer, letting the music envelop us.

I had no idea what I was about to do but I went along with it, allowing our bodies to do the explaining.

Without really thinking I shifted my body to straddle his and met his lips with force and Edward staggered back but regained his composure hugging me roughly to his chest. My hands immediately went to the collar of his dress shirt and began undoing the buttons not caring to see his reaction but needing him to understand.

And Edward did understand. He took my lips again kissing me, bringing my face to his, while I worked to relieve him of his shirt slowly. Edward's grip grew tighter and I worked in limited space from his embrace. When all the buttons were undone I peeled the shirt off quickly and moved my mouth from his down his neck and kissed from throat to shoulder, taking the collarbone to the other shoulder and kissing back up to the spot just below his ear. My mouth met his once more, tracing the jaw line and this time I saw his eyes and we paused.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked as breathless as I.

Silence met his question as the song ended and **The Operation -Charlotte Gainsbourg **followed and I felt its beat ease my nerves.

"No, but let's see where this goes." I answered, moving to take off my own shirt, moved by the song to explore.

Edward's hands were over mine stopping me, looking a little cautious.

Ever since Edward confessed to not being a virgin our relationship picked up it's pace. He probably thought this was about making things even but it wasn't; I just wanted him really badly.

Instead of saying anything I kissed him again telling him I wanted this- whatever this was. His eyes agreed and he yanked my shirt slowly over my head leaving us both shirtless staring. The sudden lack of clothing I imagined would make me feel vulnerable but instead it was liberating and comfortable.

_Then again, it was probably because Edward's hands were moving up and down my sides warming the skin._

The song shifted then to **Inxs' Never Tears Us Apart.**

Edward lay me down kissing for some time relishing in the feeling of our skin touching. His hand dipped lower cupping one breast and then moved lower to rub my stomach in circles before Edward's right hand stopped on the buckle to my pants. I nodded my head in approval and Edward got the buckle open easily sliding my pants down my hips and then completely off before tossing them aside. We sat up together with him on his knees over me kissing while he worked on his own buckle. I did my part and got it undone and he shrugged out of them, tossing the pants beside mine on the floor.

**Four Word Letter (Pt. 2) - Mewithoutyou **replaced Inxs and the atmosphere became full of passion, urge and carnal desire. Our bodies shifted together to the beat as his hand found its way to the elastic of my underwear. The thin fabric of his boxers made it easy to feel him enjoying the exploration as well.

I cupped my hand over his and guided it under the lace for him. Instead of hearing the music we felt it as our hands together began to rub between my legs in rhythm to the music. I let his hand continue its motions and with the arch of my back I stretched my arms under the pillow my head was resting on. My body rocked as his fingers massaged between my thighs in a circular motion making me feel the wetness between them.

As his hand worked on me, Edward nipped at my breasts, puckering my nipples through my bra. He let one finger enter me, gliding in and out and I let out a throaty moan.

I don't really know how I managed, but I reached for the remote and turned the music up louder to drown out our sounds from the rest of the world.

Edward kept his finger moving in and out of me while letting his thumb circle my clit and I pushed myself harder into his touch. With the sensation encompassing me, I shut my eyes and moved my body with his hand moaning more often.

This wasn't my first clitoral orgasm but somehow it beat the others I'd had without having reached my peak yet.

Before I could cum I had to slow my hips losing the rhythm of his movements. I let the waves flow through me and waited a few seconds taking much needed breaths in the process. Edward let my body take in the pleasure using his hand to massage the area between my legs soothingly. His hands then massaged my breasts caressing up and down my body.

When I was ready I guided his hand back in position and let Edward continue.

He was so hard by this point, feeling his length rub against my leg as his fingers penetrated me once more. I didn't think it possible to be this turned on but I was. I placed my right hand rubbing my clit as he fingered me.

"Faster." I said breathless, reaching my peak once more for the real thing.

Edward pumped faster and I rubbed to meet his pace. I stifled the loud 'Oh' that escaped me as my body convulsed with orgasm against his finger.

I suddenly felt vulnerable now, immobile with pleasure under him.

Any music was incomprehensible at this point. Edward calmed me down rubbing me slowly again before removing his hand from my underwear and lying beside me cuddling my form against his.

It took a moment for the waves to pass and I breathed heavily lying with him beside me.

The guilty feeling returned knowing he didn't get off with me.

Sex was a complete mystery to me and oral sex was a bit out of my league at the moment. So, I figured my next move might do the trick.

I wasn't sure exactly if this was normal but it just seemed like common sense. The movements involved seemed practical enough and it was the closest thing to sex I could give Edward right now.

When I could take control of myself I knelt on my knees straddling his body lying on the bed. I could tell Edward was a little confused about what I was doing but I did it anyways.

I could hear **Tegan and Sara **in the background singing **Like O, Like H.**

**EPOV**

Bella loomed over me straddling me.

_Watching Bella get hers never got old._

I didn't know what Bella was doing now, but when her hands found the elastic of my boxers I stiffened under her, this time with my body, at the thought she might be indicating sex.

I worried she was trying to make things even after I revealed everything about Tanya. The last thing I wanted was it to pressure her into this.

My face must have expressed my thoughts because her breath was warm in my ear when she answered my silent inquiry.

"I just want to try one thing."

She pulled my boxers down leaving my cock exposed and hard. I felt a little vulnerable having her look at me like that but her eyes switched to determined as she reached to remove her panties.

Bella got back into position over me. I could tell she didn't have a plan of attack but she went on unrelenting. Her questioning stare made me realize we weren't about to have sex but Bella wanted to do something to return the favour and get me off.

_And she was being creative with it too._

To help I clung to her hips moving her pelvic area above my cock, situating her vagina over it and pressing her onto it. Bella understood this, thankful I understood her gesture. She was still soaking wet from before so I used it to help the movement be smoother.

My hands still grasped her thighs pressing her onto my dick as Bella moved her pussy up and down my length; **True Love Way - Kings of Leon **measuring her strokes. I couldn't suppress the pleasure of her pussy rubbing against me so I groaned often reaching my hands to fumble with her breasts. Her bra was in the way but I was happy enough devouring them with my hands as Bella pushed her chest into my palms. My thumb flicked her nipple as it jutted out hard through the material of the bra.

We both moaned together as our private parts rocked together and I knew then Bella was getting off as well.

Kings of Leon ended and I recognized the next song from a recent movie I saw. _Normal Adolescent Behaviour_, great movie but the song went with this moment all too well. **Let Go - Gabriel and Dresden.**

_And so we just let go._

Bella and I quickened the pace of our movements, pressing harder and moaning breathlessly with the effort. Her hips smoothed over my length faster arching her back ready to peak. I slowed her down, clutching her hips once more and taking control of the rhythm. I was about to cum too but we would do it together.

My toes curled watching Bella move up against me the way she was. She looked ready now so I let go of her hips and rocked with her harder and faster than before; her pussy over my cock.

_This was almost better than sex._

_..._

_Almost._

With sex I could show Bella the way I felt about her with more passion and with an orgasm she'd remember for some time afterwards. But, Bella was giving me as much of herself as she could at this point. And I was more than glad.

She moved against me some more. As the song reached its crucial point; so did we. Our bodies moved together ready to cum.

A few more strokes against my cock and we both stiffened momentarily as mutual orgasm swam through us groaning in unison. Bella collapsed onto my chest, our breaths rising and falling in sync. I felt her quiver startle my penis as the last waves of pleasure faded away and our breathing evened.

We lay together, Bella still on top of me, for a little while until I interrupted our silent embrace by looking at Bella's alarm clock on the dresser.

"Crap." I said before I knew it.

Bella's head shot up not understanding. I gave her a sympathetic glance and sighed.

"I've got to get home. It's Carlisle's birthday and Esme wants to have a family dinner." I said, hugging Bella tighter to me not wanting to leave.

"Well," Bella replied planting kisses along my jaw line after every word, " If. You. Must. I Guess. I could. Let. You. Go."

But I really _really_ wanted to stay.

_Damn Carlisle and families for making me leave Bella this way._

I was so hot, in more ways than one, melting into Bella's bed having her body heat warm me even more. I didn't want to leave but Carlisle was family and it's about the only thing that would ever make me leave Bella.

She continued leaving small kisses on my face tracing lower on my neck. I grabbed her hips and slowly lifted her off of me, reluctantly, and at the movement she nibbled on my neck. Bella didn't want me to leave either and we both groaned in protest as I hopped off the bed gathering my clothing. Bella did the same looking a little disappointed but her face seemed brighter with some new emotion.

We gathered ourselves as well, smoothing out the wrinkles in our clothing and in our hair, hoping to look presentable and not so obvious. Bella walked me to the front door and I kissed her goodnight before walking out a little sad.

**BPOV**

Watching Edward leave was hard. The last couple of hours were absolutely mesmerizing. I rested my back against the door breathing slowly holding on to the happiness. A low hum of music came from my bedroom and I straightened up and made my way back to my room a little sad over Edward having to leave.

I cleaned up a bit, vowing to shower in the morning, and crawled into my pajamas for the night; a pair of short shorts, a tank top and hoodie to keep me warm until I went to bed.

**All is full of love - Deathcab for Cutie** sang on in the background and I lay on my back smiling to myself about the progression of my relationship with Edward.

Before now I had no idea what to call what I felt for him. It was just some anonymous emotion that made my knees weak when Edward would say my name, or made me blush when he held my hand as well as being completely happy every single moment with him.

I wasn't really listening to the song until unexpectedly I heard it all too well over the drumming of my thoughts.

Quickly I staggered out of my bed once the song finished and skipped to Alice's door across the hall.

I knocked rapidly, feeling like nothing could make this moment come any quicker. I grew impatient quickly when she didn't answer right away. For someone who spent most of his time being quiet, Jasper was certainly chatty when it came to being on the phone. I cursed Jasper under my breath for keeping Alice too occupied to answer my urgent knocking right away.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming." I heard her say annoyed.

She opened the door and I burst into her room knocking her lightly with my shoulder.

"What's up Bella?" she asked puzzled by my sudden entrance.

"I have a question for you." I told Alice.

"About what?" she asked eagerly, noting the heat rising in my cheeks.

"Love." I answered looking at the floor.

I didn't want to look when Alice took in my train of thought.

"Oh my gosh!" she screamed slapping her hand to her mouth in apology.

"You're in love with Edward!" she said in an enthusiastic whisper.

The thought seemed to make her as happy as I was now realizing I felt.

For some time I dared not say anything overcome with the embarrassment of barging in to talk about love with Alice.

She put her hand on my shoulder and led me to her bed and got me to sit down.

_I was in love with Edward Cullen._

_Me, Bella Swan was in love._

I knew it was a stupid thing to do but I pinched myself anyways.

The next little while I spent explaining to Alice my theories on the topic providing examples to express why love seemed to fit so well. Alice's trademark smile never left her face as she listened to me spill my heart out over a boy. It seemed Alice was prepared for this moment when it arrived. Now it was here and I was second guessing myself about whether I was just getting her hopes up.

It felt too soon to be love-- even with all the extra curricular activities Edward and I shared. Suddenly I felt a little gloomy as though I may have taken things with Edward too fast.

"Alice, is it love?"

She thought it over still grinning.

"I believe it is."

I bit my lip a little anxious.

Alice looked me over observing my nervous habit of twirling my thumbs. Her smile fell a little with worry.

"Is that not what you wanted to hear?" she asked, shuffling closer to me on the bed.

I didn't know.

"I don't know." I said honestly and a little agonized.

We were quiet for a moment.

"Is there something else bothering you about it?" she replied wearily.

What happened in my room not too long ago seemed to be very personal and private; something a couple shares when they are in love. What I felt for Edward was strong, but it was neither labeled love nor had we ever mentioned the word to each other.

Our actions hung like a grey cloud and I worried Edward and I had gone too far before saying 'I Love You'. It wasn't that it felt wrong, because nothing about being with Edward felt wrong, but in the past two hours we had seen more of each other than we had the entire time we were together.

Tonight, Edward and I shared a lot with each other. Personal, private things I blushed just thinking about.

I didn't know how it worked with couples. Whether or not this kind of stuff happened before the exchange of 'I Love You's" I couldn't figure out. What if it changed everything after it was said?

Then again I had no idea if Edward even felt the same way.

"Bella... Are you still with me?" Alice spoke breaking my thoughts.

I blushed, heat rising in my cheeks again, and she gasped as if the blush told her some huge secret.

"You didn't..." she asked, very curious.

"No Alice. We didn't have sex." I said sternly, "We just ummm...did other stuff."

"Spill it." Alice retorted not enjoying having to guess.

I tried relaying to her what went down in my bedroom earlier in as clean a manner as possible. It turned out to be harder than I thought and the conversation was making the blush in my cheeks more profound. Alice sat taking in all the details I gave and the hints I dropped trying to understand. Only when I told her about my concern about the progression of my relationship that she got the clue.

"Oh, Bella. Just because you fooled around a bit with a boy before saying those three words doesn't mean things will change." she spoke kindly, "Sometimes in relationships that sort of stuff is a means of telling the other person how they feel without saying the words out loud."

"So it doesn't make me easy?" I wondered aloud and she giggled.

"Of course not silly." and she still was still laughing but took my hands in hers seriously.

"You don't see the way Edward looks at you. Just because you haven't exchanged verbal sentiments doesn't mean what happened is less significant."

"And it isn't bad that it happened?" I couldn't help myself now.

"Absolutely not Bells." Alice waved her hand to discredit my thinking.

I shrugged at my conflicting thoughts still in awe that what I felt was indeed _love_.

_What did Edward feel?_

We talked for awhile longer but my yawning made it apparent it was time to get to sleep.

I let my mind try to make sense of my thinking, but something occurred to me.

Everyone else was so obsessed with sex on such a superficial level. To them sex meant pleasure and nothing more. With the people closest to me, sex was different.

I started to see why Emmett got so caught up with his own sex life. Emmett got to have sex with the person he loved—Rosalie. Before there even was a Rosalie and Emmett, my brother used to be a quiet virgin. Yet, things changed when they coupled up. With Rosalie in the picture, Emmett could sing the praises of sex.

On other hand, even though Alice and Jasper were much more subdued with their sexuality around me, it was the same idea. For the two of them, there was only one other person to share the experience with—each other.

This was the difference between what I used to think about sex and the things I now began understanding.

It wasn't the vulgar, inappropriate lunch topic from days past but a showing of love between two people. Being on the other side, getting to see it with my own eyes helped me understand why people talked about it so much.

**EPOV**

I got in a quick shower, changed and met my parents in the dining room.

After dinner ended with Carlisle and Esme, I gave my gift to my dad. He thanked me for the fancy new day planner I bought him and the three of us settled in to share some cake before Esme and Carlisle shuffled off to spend some alone time together.

I tried not picturing what their alone time consisted of and marched up to my bedroom to leave the lovebirds alone. To make sure I didn't hear it either, I cranked my music up loud and let my thoughts get lost to the beat of **Black Panther **by** Crystal Castles**.

Tonight brought Bella and I closer together.

Moving to Forks turned out to be my Dad's best decision ever and any doubt otherwise quickly vanished when my brain flashed to images of Bella.

Our relationship found a turning point and I couldn't wash the smile from my face remembering Bella's half naked form over me. Sure it wasn't sex but being that close to one another definitely meant the two of us shared a strong bond. As cliché as it sounded, we showed each other a piece of our souls.

More and more each day, my feelings for Bella intensified. The emotion remained nameless but whatever it turned out to be I latched onto it. I enjoyed every minute of being with Bella. Whenever sex happened, _if it did_, it would be like my first time. A real first time.

With Bella, no one else mattered. My life spread out into a new frontier of possibilities.

The volume of the music was probably a little excessive but I couldn't care right now. Anything right now would be better than overhearing your parents be all lovey dovey and a little gross. Love was one thing, but having to listen to your parents was a line I stayed far from crossing.

I settled onto my bed to finish off some homework I left for the last minute.

Between having a girlfriend and going to school, school ended up taking a backseat to any moment I could spend with Bella. Somehow, though, I still managed good grades and grew thankful for all the time I spent thinking with my head instead of the one between my legs. I pitied those poor bastards caught up with their other heads who suffered academically for it. To those guys getting laid was better than getting an A.

While everyone else was obsessed with sex, I focused on other important things in life.

Well at least until now.

Bella was important to me.

**Band of Horse's No One's Gonna Love You **followed after a few songs I wasn't really paying attention too. At first, I wasn't really paying attention to this one either but out of the blue it became much too clear.

_I loved Bella Swan._

The epiphany hit me like a ton of bricks but it seemed so simple and so right.

I mean could it actually really be love though?

We'd only been together about a month or so. But love did sum up a lot of what I felt for Bella; the butterflies in my stomach when I saw her the first time every day, the leap my heart did when she said my name, and how every moment with Bella felt better than the first.

And then I thought about what went down between us in her bedroom not too long ago. Without even thinking we jumped at the chance to take things further. We'd never verbally expressed our feelings for each other letting our little touches, and hand holding and such do the talking. There hadn't yet been a need to put any words to our thoughts because feeling them was enough. Now I was bombarded with reasons all the things I felt must be love.

_L. O. V. E._

I wondered if Bella felt the same way but quickly became pessimistic.

Bella did initiate the activities earlier so there must be something there. I hoped having shared so much of each other before declaring our feelings with words wouldn't change anything. The whole dating thing unfortunately had no handbook but I pictured it outlining this very thing.

I imagined it would say something of how 'such activities were a means of expressing feelings for one another'. At least it seemed the best way to explain it where we were concerned.

Everyone else saw sex superficially, even myself in the past. Though, with Bella, everything with sex became more important, more precious. What we've done should have come after we said aloud what we felt.

For some reason, though, I couldn't worry too much about it. Nothing with Bella was complicated.

No. I justified tonight as a physical communication of our feelings. Well at the very least, my feelings. I still didn't know Bella's position on the whole thing.

There was no time to think more because I yawned continuously and threw myself into my bed without changing. Right now I just needed some sleep.

Bella and I would deal with things on our own time.

*******

**BPOV**

Unfortunately for me I was stuck riding with Emmett to school this morning. Not only did my truck feel like not working but Edward had to drive his mom somewhere so it left me with no other choice.

_Damn Jasper and Alice for leaving so damn early._

The beginning of the day seemed to last the longest. Edward got to miss his first class so I missed getting to see him in the morning.

Edward was still nowhere to be found when I walked to the lunch to see the rest of my group already canoodled at the table together. I sat anxiously waiting for Edward to get there as soon as possible.

"Where's Edward today?" Alice prodded.

I shrugged my shoulders disappointed at Edward for not being here yet.

"Not sure, he took his mom somewhere this morning but I expected him to be back already."

After that I fell silent and poked at my food and bit my lip waiting. Emmett took my silence as the best opportunity to bust my chops.

"So Bella, take any cold showers lately?" he winked at me and I looked at him a little lost.

"You know, last night" Emmett winked again and I blushed trying to hide my face from exposing any details.

"I don't know what you're talking about Emmett." I tried playing dumb, picking at my food and taking small bites.

"Oh come on, don't be shy Bells." he said but I couldn't meet his glare.

"Really Em, I have no idea what you're talking about." Again, I just played dumb. Hopefully like most dogs, Emmett would get sick of chasing his own tail.

"Don't make me spell it out for you Bella. You know what I'm talking about." Emmett answered trying to blackmail me into spilling the beans.

I couldn't say anything so I let silence do the talking for me.

"You know… When a girl is alone in her bedroom with a boy and the music gets louder, it's an obvious something is going on," Emmett joked laughing alone.

Was it that obvious a sign?

"If only you allowed us that simple courtesy Em." I joked with him trying to get the spotlight off of me and Edward from last night.

"I said girls Bella, guys actually turn music down." he laughed at his snarky remark adding hand gestures to illustrate his point. He tried getting validation from Jasper who shook his head laughing but disagreeing at the same time.

Everyone at the table laughed at the look Rosalie shot Emmett from her place on his right. If looks could castrate I think Emmett would take more caution with what he said.

"Oh Emmett. You've got a lot to learn still buddy." Jasper chuckled to Emmett clapping his hand on the desk.

"Really Em. Is that what guys do?" Rosalie spoke and Jasper shrugged off any involvement tossing his apple from palm to palm.

It surprised me how quickly everyone else picked up when Emmett put his foot in his mouth. You'd think a big guy like Emmett would taste the athlete's foot but most times Emmett was oblivious to saying the wrong things.

I blanked out from the spat Emmett and Rosalie were now having. Jasper looked on thoroughly amused while Alice yawned out of boredom. The only good thing I could see about Em and Rose fighting would be all the makeup sex they were bound to have.

_Maybe Emmett wasn't as oblivious as we all thought._

Those two were still going at it when I felt warm hands clasp over my eyes. The mystery hands didn't speak instead the person positioned a small kiss at my temple and released their grip.

"Hey." I said, ridiculously happy to see Edward.

I snaked my arms around him and dragged my chair impossibly closer to him loving the feeling of his arm draped protectively around my shoulder.

His entrance didn't disrupt the dispute still going on so for the rest of lunch I rested comfortably in Edward's arm until only the sound of class starting pulled us apart.

Right after class we made our way to his car. Edward promised to make up for this morning's drive with Emmett by offering to take me home himself. I agreed eagerly, stopping at my locker first, looking forward to more alone time with my boyfriend whom I loved. Thinking about it forced a faint pink blush to colour my cheeks/ Seeing it Edward lifted my chin with a finger and placed two small pecks on either cheek. Impatient, I darted my lips to meet his and Edward returned my ferocity letting my chin go and placing his hand on the small of my back to push me closer. This definitely breached our no make out policy for PDA in public but who the fuck cared about PDA right now. The only thing I thought about was Edward's lips on mine.

"Get a room." I heard Emmett tease.

Emmett's comment should have made me pull away shy but my mind was too enthralled to do anything about it.

I was slowly becoming one of those girls who flaunted their boyfriend around. And yet again, I couldn't care. I was diving in head first and loving every second of it.

Finally, needing air, Edward broke the embrace for me, chuckling at my new lack of inhibitions.

"Let me take you home." He tried saying nonchalantly as though he didn't want to keep kissing as badly as I did.

"If by home you mean we get to make a pit stop then what are we waiting for?" I replied just as nonchalantly grabbing his hand and walking off toward the parking lot.

**EPOV**

Bella surprised me with the unexpected show of affection in the hallway. I expected to have her pull away shy but instead she tightened her grip when she knew there was an audience.

Everything lately surpassed perfection. Bella and I were together, happily ever after, in a real life fairytale we created for ourselves.

"Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?" I asked with confidence. My parents had yet to formally meet Bella as I had with Charlie at the picnic and tonight seemed like just the day.

"Tonight?" and I heard the nervous tone in her voice.

"Yes, tonight. It'll be great." I wanted my voice to be as confident.

She grew shy thinking about it so I brought us to an abrupt stop just beside my car.

"I don't know Edward, what if they don't like me?" But I shushed her before she could bring herself down.

"My parents will love you Bella. You have nothing to worry about." And I laid my hand on her cheek and kissed her softly. I felt her give in before she said it and kissed her again triumphantly.

I gave her a chance to speak by breaking the kiss for the both of us.

"Fine. I would love to come over for dinner." Bella agreed and I smiled mischievously.

It was wrong to change her mind with kisses but it was my only offence I had besides my eyes. Most of the time, Bella worked her magic on me.

I drove Bella home then, skipping the pit stop to give her time to get ready. After I dropped her off, I quickly pulled out my cell phone and dialed Esme's number to tell her the news. Of course, my stepmom didn't say no. She practically screeched at the idea of cooking dinner for my girlfriend.

Bella being the first girl I was bringing home for a family dinner was a cornerstone in my family; kind of like losing your first tooth or graduating.

My girlfriend.

_My girlfriend whom I loved._

The words seemed to come so easily now.

Now it was up to me too tell her.

_----------_

_**A/N - I tried adding a playlist to my profile but it messed up. I'll figure out how to fix it and hopefully it'll be up and running soon enough.**_


	9. Cool Breeze

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: Sorry this chapter took much longer than the rest. Blame the major writer's block and the very little time I had to actually work on it.**_

_**I'm not particularly happy with the chapter but for the plot to continue it has to end where it does.**_

_**Quick warning, I can't guaruntee the next chapter will follow up quickly. There's a lot coming up that will keep me away from getting to sit down and write. I will, however, do my best.**_

**Chapter 9 - Cool Breeze**

**BPOV**

I inhaled deeply, exhaled roughly dropping my brush onto my vanity. Getting ready for this dinner was turning out to be impossibly hard and I sighed frustrated. Alice snuck up behind me and I jumped when she started talking before I realized she was even there.

"Geez Alice, you should really wear a bell or something. My heart practically jumped right out of my chest." I scorned jokingly.

"Ha. Ha. It's not my fault you have bad hearing." She retorted acting dismissive but smiling too much to take her seriously. "Anyways, do you want to come with us to a movie tonight or something?"

"I can't." I told her staring into the vanity mirror running the brush through my hair once again.

"Why not?" she whined.

"Edward invited me to dinner with his family." I said simply.

A shocked gasp escaped her and she closed the distance from the doorway to me in mere split seconds.

"Why didn't you say that earlier?!" Alice barked snatching the brush from my hand taking over.

My shoulders shrugged and I nodded my head. Telling Alice would have made this getting ready process easier but somehow actually doing it failed to happen. But, I was happy to have her here now to help me get through this.

"Sorry Al, I guess I was just too nervous to say anything." I answered.

"Okay, but sit straight. We're working with limited time and you know how Rosalie gets when we don't get to the movie before the previews." Alice said forcing my head straight still brushing. "We've got to get you looking presentable. Where's the hair straightener?"

"I don't know," I told her, "But thanks Al."

She barely answered coherently now caught up with the monumental task of getting me ready.

It didn't take her long. My hair cooperated under the intense heat of the straightener and I marveled at the product of Alice's handy work. She wished me luck before escaping to her own room to finish getting ready herself. I put on a safe outfit choice, sticking with a black pair of dress pants and a green blouse.

The clocked ticked loudly as I sat in the living room with Charlie pretending to watch what he was watching. Really, I went over different scenarios for this date in my head.

Luckily for me, Edward arrived not too much longer and I hopped from my seat to answer the door. I wished Charlie a goodnight and reassured him I would make curfew tonight before following Edward to his car. Being the gentleman he was, Edward opened my door for me before getting in at his side. With all my might, I tried not looking nervous but this was a big deal for the both of us. Of course, I would be nervous.

"Nervous?" Edward asked not at all surprised.

"Huh? Oh. No, not at all." I lied horribly. "What makes you think that?"

"You twirl your thumbs when you're anxious." He noted reaching to mingle my hand with his.

"Oh." was all I could say just then. Before I could get a word in edgewise Edward's lips were cool against mine draining my nerves of any negative thinking.

"You'll be fine Bella." he whispered inches from me and I closed my eyes at the warmth of his sweet breath against my face. With Edward around relaxing came easy.

Somehow I mumbled out something good enough to be comprehended as an agreement. We were off then towards the Cullen house quietly letting the music take over.

**EPOV**

Bella had no reason to be nervous. This wasn't the first time she would be meeting my parents. Since we started dating we crossed paths with them briefly but my parents were good judges of character. They already liked Bella and after tonight they would love her. It was hard not to love Bella.

Butterflies rose in my stomach at the word knowing how badly I wanted to tell her so. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment but how in the world would I recognize that moment? Heck, I wasn't even sure Bella felt the same way. Would I ever find the right timing?

I didn't know. What I did know would have to wait because we pulled into my driveway as I thought over the impending exchange of words. Before walking in the house I took a second look in Bella's direction. She took a conservative approach to tonight with her outfit. There was no turtle neck, which emphasized her assets, instead a simple green blouse that covered her respectably. Her hair was straight and I really liked how it shaped her face. Bella looked beautiful and I squeezed her hand with affection.

Esme met us at the doorway and the smell of her cooking met our noses when we walked in. She greeted Bella with an excited enthusiasm moms get when their sons bring their first girlfriend home for dinner. Carlisle rose from his spot on the couch to greet Bella as well with more subtly than Esme but I knew a paternal pride swelled in his chest. Neither of my parents had ever seen me with a girl before but being with Bella changed all that. To everyone else, my relationship made me a much brighter person instead of the guy I used to be who just went through the motions.

I led Bell into the dining room, not letting go of her hand. She was still visibly nervous so I did my best to make her feel comfortable enough to relax. The last thing I wanted was Bella to become a different person in order to impress my parents.

As dinner went on though I felt Bella relax and enjoy herself. She got along well with Carlisle and Esme and it was beginning to feel like this was in fact a good idea.

"You'll join us for Edward's birthday In two weeks?" Esme invited.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Bella responded graciously patting my hand under the table.

Most often I didn't look forward to celebrating my birthday. Part of me hated the attention one got on their birthday and the other parts just did not enjoy elaborate parties; which was usually the case when your stepmom was an interior decorator.

"Remember Esme, the party is going to be low key this time." I cut in before Esme could go overboard with the details.

Bella listened intently to Esme who described the itinerary for the party. Their conversation drifted and suddenly I become the center of attention—the one thing I disliked most.

When dinner finished Bella helped Esme clear the table laughing amicably to each other while Esme relayed stories of me when I was younger. I sat back a little embarrassed but all the while impressed. Carlisle gave me an approving look watching the two women disappear into the kitchen.

"Bella is a wonderful girl Edward. You should hang on to her." he said to me seriously.

"She is isn't she? I have you to thank though dad." and Carlisle looked a little unsure. "If you hadn't taken the job in Forks there would be no Bella."

A smile formed across his face and he patted my shoulder the way dads did when they were proud.

The girls returned to the dining table and Carlisle excused himself and Esme so Bella and I could have some alone time to take in how well the dinner went.

"I told you there was nothing to worry about. My parents love you." I made sure she heard all of my sincerity.

"You were right. I had a really great time tonight." Bella said smiling all relieved and comfortable and pleased.

"Tonight's not over just yet. Follow me." I instructed.

My hand held onto hers and she wrapped her arm in mine bringing herself closer. The same electricity I felt the first time we touched run through me.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked from beside me. I could feel her curious footsteps following anxiously beside me as I guided her up a set of stairs in the house.

"My bedroom." I responded tugging her arm gently in the direction we needed to go.

I smirked thinking about what it could insinuate but when I looked to see her reaction a nervous calm set in her eyes and I knew what she must be thinking.

"Here we are." I pointed out as we stood in the doorway to my room.

To ease her little mind I kept the door open so she would realize it would not be a repeat of the other night. Not only were my parents home but I really wanted to share something with the girl I loved. The smallest sigh left her and it told me she had been looking forward to a repeat and couldn't help be a bit disappointed—just as I was.

Being an only child did have its advantages. With two parents doing well in their selected careers, I reaped the benefits. My room was big enough to house a piano and I walked directly to it and Bella followed behind me.

"I didn't know you played piano." Bella stated excited at the new fun fact.

"My mom played a lot. She taught me a lot before she left." I answered only a little remorseful. "Ever since, I've taken it upon myself to keep learning and keep playing."

"Could you play something for me?" she asked genuinely.

I took a seat on the piano bench and motioned her to sit next to me. My fingers worked across the keys forming the notes to my favourite piano piece of all time. _**Gnossiennes No 1**_ composed by _**Erik Satie**_.

Bella rested her head on my shoulder as I continued to play. When the piece came to an end Bella rested a soft kiss on the back of my neck. Her breath sent shivers down my spine when she whispered,

"That was beautiful Edward."

"Thanks." I accepted. "But it wasn't what I wanted to show you."

Her eyes widened with surprise and she grinned at the new possibility.

"I actually sort of wrote something for you." I admitted.

"Really?" Bella sounded surprised and pleased encouraging me to play it. "Do play it. Please?" And I couldn't resist her when she pleaded like that. I was helpless, despite how shy I instantly became.

Before I started, I took a deep shy breath in. My fingers danced around the keys once more bringing to life the lullaby I composed for Bella. It remained my own little secret before now and I would never admit to having written it after meeting her the first time. Now, the piece held so much meaning and watching Bella take it all in sent my heart into overdrive with happiness.

When I finished I added a few embellishments to prolong to perfection of this moment. It couldn't last forever but I would forever be validated when I looked over to Bella and saw the smallest tear form in the corner of her eye.

She wiped it away quickly overwhelmed and still shy. It took a few minutes before either of us could speak.

"Edward….that..that was incredible." Bella spoke softly not wanting to disrupt the quiet atmosphere we created in my bedroom.

"Edward." She finally whispered through the quiet.

"mmmhm?" I mumbled back.

"You never did tell me why your mom left." She asked cautiously.

I paused for a few seconds considering her question.

"My mom got really sick when I was young. It was hard on all of us, mainly Carlisle. Eventually she recovered and suddenly she felt life was too short. There were so many things she wanted to do that she never did." I started.

"My dad told me later my mom never wanted to have children but he convinced her to have me. He told me she fell in love with me the moment she held me in her arms at the hospital. I guess that's why I get a little bitter about her leaving. Feeling like I held her back. But. The night before my mom decided to leave she came to my room. I remember her exact words.

_I will always love you no matter what, but mommy has something to do. I won't be around but promise mommy you'll make sure your daddy is happy? _

And that was it. Two days later her stuff was gone and it was just Carlisle and I. It was sad for awhile but eventually we got over it. We realized my mom couldn't be the person we needed no matter how much she loved either of us. A couple of years later my dad met Esme and they've been my family ever since." I finished. Retelling the story turned out to be easier than I originally contemplated.

Bella seemed a little sad for me but I wasn't going to let her. I extended my hand to take hers and we stared at each other a few seconds until Esme appeared in the doorway.

"Oops. I don't mean to interrupt but Edward, honey, your friend James is on the phone."

Bella cheeks flushed immediately red.

"Will you tell him I will call him back?" I said,

"Certainly." Esme accepted and left us alone once more.

"Who's James?" Bella inquired.

"Just a friend from Chicago." I answered honestly enough, leaving out only little details.

"You could have taken the call you know." She guilted.

"It's okay. I'll call him back later."

She blushed again for keeping me from taking the phone call but I was neither upset nor excited he called.

James was an old friend and bad influence. Before moving to Forks, James got me involved in things I wasn't proud to admit too. One reason I didn't fight the move with my parents would be so I could get away from his peer pressure. I imagined what sorts of things we would be into had we stayed in Chicago and I shuttered thinking about it. Whatever he had to say could wait until some other time.

It was getting late and if I wanted to keep my good impression with Charlie I would have to get Bella home soon.

I reluctantly relayed the fact to Bella who nuzzled into my side in protest. The weight of her holding onto me was comforting and I embraced her nuzzle resting my chin on the top of her head not saying a word. We stayed like that for a bit making small talk but eventually her curfew hung in the room and we peeled ourselves apart slowly and walked to my car even slower.

Bella said her goodbyes to my parents, thanking them for dinner courteously. Esme wore a huge grin and hugged Bella lightly. Carlisle shook her hand and I walked with Bella to my driveway. She wore the cutest little grin and I just had to kiss her.

"What was that for?" She asked shyly stunned by my surprise kiss.

"For being you." I teased adoringly making her cheeks colour red again.

**BPOV**

I could have used a few minutes to recover from Edward's surprise kiss. It held so much affection I thought my heart would burst with happiness and spill my love all over the place. Despite the fact I was already blushing, the colour in my cheeks deepened when the word love came so easily to me when thinking of Edward. As much as I wanted to yell it to the world I understood this wasn't the moment I was waiting for. The moment I told Edward I loved him had to be perfect.

_As if perfect really existed but it was damn near real with Edward._

The car ride home was quiet with only the music filling in the comfortable silence. I liked not always having to speak to Edward. There were so many other ways to communicate and somehow we knew all of them.

He walked me to my front porch and kissed me again. I swear I felt my knees buckle with everything I was feeling. Luckily though I stayed vertical long enough to thank him for tonight.

"I had an amazing time." He confirmed and I smiled sweetly before saying goodnight and sadly leaving him to go inside.

I headed straight for my bedroom, kissing Charlie goodnight and going straight for the shower.

Saying you loved someone should be easiest thing to do. I mean feeling it was easier than most things so I couldn't understand why I wanted to wait and prolong the agony of holding it in. I should have said it in the car or at the piano when Edward played his song for me. Yet, I hadn't. Why?

It was as if the cold water read my mind. The cool drops pelting against my skin brought everything to the surface; physically and emotionally. My relationship with Edward was not like others. Each relationship had its own unique quality and I relished in the fact I was a part of something bigger than myself.

When I got out, the slight breeze from the window I left open rose gooseflesh on my skin and I felt the feeling linger between my legs. There was no time to enjoy it before Alice hopped onto my bed waiting for me to join her and give her the details about my dinner with the Cullen's.

"Alice, dinner was amazing." I said dreamily remembering how well it all went.

"And his parents?" She prodded.

"Complete sweethearts. I mean Carlisle is pretty quiet but intellectually so. Esme is so bubbly and full of life. It's hard not to like them. I just hope they liked me." I replied.

"Well duh!" She encouraged.

"Edward also played piano for me. An original composition." I bragged to my sister.

Her jaw dropped and she looked the tiniest bit jealous that my boyfriend was musically inclined. As much as Alice loved Jasper she would love him even more if played an instrument and sang to her.

"Alice, it was so beautiful. I can still hear him playing in my head." I bragged some more.

"You are so lucky Bella Swan. You hold on to this one." She ordered.

I nodded in understanding.

_Edward was all mine._

She left the room then leaving me to my thoughts. I drifted off to sleep quickly dreaming of a happily ever after with Edward at my side.

***

A week passed after dinner with the Cullens and Edward and I were becoming more comfortable displaying our relationship in front of our parents. We spent a lot more time interacting with them going back and forth spending time at my house and Edward's.

We also became more at ease with displaying our affection to the rest of the school body. I worried we might be turning into one of those overly lovey dovey couples like Eric and Angela but Alice assured me we weren't. In fact she even said we were nowhere near Em and Rosalie who were so relaxed talking about their sex life no one could be too affectionate with them in the room. This made me laugh hysterically spewing juice from my mouth. No one knew what I was laughing about because Alice had been whispering the whole time.

"Well at least I don't have to worry about you not knowing how to spit." Emmett added in at my expense unaware the joke was on him.

"We also don't have to worry about you knowing how to eat either do we Emmett." Edward winked and we all laughed at the obvious pun.

Even a little laugh escaped Rosalie who planted a peck on Emmett's cheek when Edward's joke set in. Emmet was no longer the alpha male at the table and a lot of his joking, although still raunchy, was toned down. The dynamic was shifting within our group but it wasn't an uncomfortable shift.

For so long, I was the outsider in my group. The only one within my group of friends and family excluded because I didn't have a significant other. Not to say I felt completely like an outsider but it was hard not to feel left out while everyone else always had someone to turn too. For some time I had been jealous of what Alice and Emmett found with their partners. I was the habitual fifth wheel and sometimes it got really hard.

Now with Edward in the picture, I no longer acted as the outcast. Edward made me just as happy as the others made each other and I fit in more easily. We had someone to go to, someone to talk to, and someone to make us feel loved and happy. Emmett could no longer really joke about me being inexperienced because he would never know whether I or not it was the case. He could only assume and push my buttons with a blindfold on and tease me for finally getting a boyfriend.

Edward got along well with everyone at the table. The only standoffish one was Rosalie but it was in her nature. Most of the time Rosalie spent with Edward around, most often to not, there would be a mirror between the two while she worked on making herself look good.

When school ended I walked with Edward too his car. Halfway there he turned to me and looked a little frightened.

"Hey, think you can ride with Emmett today? I forgot I have to do something after school." Edward asked eagerly.

I looked at him suspicious of his weird behaviour. However, I didn't want to push it.

"Yeah, I guess. Explain later?" I posed.

"Sure." He answered and I saw his head bob back and forth from me to where his car was. I turned my head inconspicuously to try to see what brought on this change in Edward. The only things visible were two figures standing idly near his Volvo.

I kissed him goodbye and caught up with Emmet and Rosalie.

_He better explain later._

**EPOV**

Leaving Bella so quickly stung a little that I should have to do this too her. But, until I could figure out why James and Victoria were standing against my Volvo I would have too. I wanted honesty to be an integral part of my relationship with Bella and to uphold that I needed to straighten things out before divulging the truth to her as I had with Tanya. How could I explain my history with James and then explain his sudden appearance in Forks?

"Edward. Man. How have you been?" James called when I got closer to them.

His hand clapped mine and one arm swung around my back in a typical guy hug.

"Surprised to see you here James…" I said through my teeth. "And you Victoria." I recognized the tall fiery red head to James' right.

She gave me a fierce nod heightening her intimidating appeal. Victoria was the perfect kind of girl for James; tough, silent and independent.

"I knew you would be which is why we decided to show up unannounced." James explained, "Or well, it might not have been a surprise had you answered the phone last night."

Bitterness bit the last word as James said it and it became so obvious why he called.

"Sorry dude. I was uhh… busy with a girl." The words seemed so unfitting to my night with Bella. It seemed to make her more of an object than the girl I loved.

"No worries bro, you know why we're right?" he added.

But I had no idea whatsoever.

"Your birthday yo! Don't tell me you forgot your birthday is this weekend?" he pointed out.

_Right… my birthday. _

I was stupid to think James wouldn't show up. We'd spent the last few of my birthdays together and although I had moved it was in James' nature not to let a tradition end.

"Awesome." I tried sounded enthusiastic but I felt my world suddenly jerk upside down. "Where are you guys staying until then?"

I had to ask but almost immediately after James answered I quickly regretted it.

"With you."

_Damn._


	10. Hot Coals

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: This chapter took me a lot longer than I expected it too, but not for lack of trying. I just barely had a chance to sit down long enough to crank it out faster.**_

_**Thanks for being patient though.**_

_**Enjoy :)**_

**Chapter 10 - Hot Coals**

**EPOV**

Having James and Victoria around the house was like having hairs pulled from your arm one by one. Slow, painful and completely and utterly torturous.

_Why the fuck didn't I end things with them before I moved here? _

I explained to Bella over the phone about old friends from Chicago being in town and how much time it would take away from us. Their visit would be short as they were leaving right after my birthday.

Still, even the first night apart was the longest time Bella and I had spent apart since we'd been together. The lack of time together got to us quickly and she expressed her concern over the phone with me when I finished explaining things and a familiar silence overcame us.

"I miss you Edward." She sighed into the phone. "You should be here now, with me, in my room _pretending_ to do homework."

Her tone was teasing but serious. No one wanted a repeat of our bedroom activities more than I.

"It's only for a couple more days." I tried sounding optimistic but if only a night apart tore me up this much I couldn't fathom what a couple more would do.

"Why don't we all go out for dinner tomorrow?" Bella suggested.

"We could, but Bella, James and Victoria aren't really social people. They're exclusive and judgmental and generally not fun people to be around." I described truthfully feeling only a little bad for talking ill of them behind their backs. "The less you know of them the better."

Part of my explaination should have included a play by play of the type of people James and Victoria were.

I caught the faint disappointed sound Bella made when she knew an argument wasn't hers to win. It made me feel terrible but I only did what I felt best, even if it didn't seem so right away.

"They can't be that bad." She tried pushing hoping she could turn things her way. "You are friends with them aren't you?"

"I'm also friends with Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley." I said sarcastically.

"Good point." Bella laughed. "I don't know, I guess I'm just interested in meeting people you knew before you moved here--Tanya not included." she finished sincerely but chuckled at the jab at Tanya.

I chuckled with her enjoying the sound of her voice in laughter. It was like listening to water droplets sparkle- beautiful just like her.

Still, Bella didn't seem satisfied with the whole situation so I went on to describe in much detail who my 'friends' really were.

The story solicited a small "Oh" from Bella who paused silently in understanding.

"If it helps you will get to meet them at the birthday party." I countered. The last thing I wanted would be to make feel as though she were not good enough to meet them.

Just then there was a soft rapt at the door and I tensed holding the phone.

"Hey Bells, mind if I call you back in a bit?" I offered.

"Someone at the door?" Bella guessed. I murmured a yes and she answered. "Okay. Talk to you later."

I clicked the phone off and beckoned whoever knocked to enter.

Carlisle stepped into my room looking pensive. He sat at the corner of my bed and from where I sat I saw thought lines creasing his forehead.

"Who's idea was it to house those two while they were in town?" he spoke softly trying his best to remain the patient, kind hearted man he always is.

"Esme's I guess." I answered. "Why what's up?"

"It's not that I don't like your friends Edward. You know I don't judge anyone easily but in this case I feel it is not with haste that I pass judgment." Carlisle told me with a serious tone I'd rarely ever heard him use before.

"What did James do this time?" I asked not at all surprised. The rare times Carlisle ever got this serious happened to be when James factored into the equation.

"While I'm all for young love, the length at which those two display their affection is disrespectful." he said sternly.

"I'll let him know to keep the PDA to a minimum." I reassured my dad.

"_Just great."_ I thought to myself.

"That is also a conversation I wish you to have but please also mention that the guest room is adjacent to the master bedroom." Carlisle added with only a hint of humor.

Most parents would have kicked out guests such as those but my dad and Esme were gracious hosts. Sending my friends from Chicago away days before my birthday wasn't going to happen. As much as I wished it could, I knew I would have to be the one to severe ties with them. If I didn't think it out of their character, I'd think my parents were letting it go so easily to punish me in some way—to make me the bad guy this time for having been so the past few years when it came to my friends.

Besides, this was how James had always been. He was selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate but too charming for his own good.

_I knew my parents were good judges of character._

"I'll do my best Dad. It's only a few more days and they will be gone." I reassured him again and Carlisle let out a small exhale of breath.

"Dinner ready yet?" I decided to ask to wane the conversation from the current topic.

"It will be soon but the sooner your downstairs, the better." He advised.

He left the room then and I stayed in my place for only a moment longer. With those two around there was no telling what they would get up too.

I followed after Carlisle and descended the stairs to catch James and Victoria embraced on the couch watching television. The sight made me cringe watching them PDA all over the leather. Esme eyed me walking down the stairs cocking her head in the direction of my friends. I huffed to myself before heading over to where they sat.

"Hey guys, mind pulling yourselves apart for one minute? You're PDA is seriously cramping my parents style." I tried to sound joking, friendly, to lighten the severity of the situation.

Victoria reluctantly let go of her hold on James but James pulled her back to their original position.

"Seriously dude, cut it out. It's bad enough my parents heard you two humping in the guest room." James let out a short laugh at my words brushing it off.

"Dude, relax. We'll be quieter next time." He answered.

"There isn't going to be a next time." I said sounding more serious. "For as long as you are here you two are not having sex under this roof, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah whatever ." James responded nonchalantly.

I huffed into the back of the couch glaring at the television screen.

_"Three more days. Three more days._ _Three more days."_ I repeated to myself hoping to keep calm.

"Dinner's ready." Esme called from the kitchen and I jumped up quickly happy for the interruption.

***

The following days went by with relatively no incident. James and Victoria were decently respectful after our talk.

My birthday approached quickly and getting out of bed that day I rubbed my knuckles against my eyes sluggish. As a pre-party celebration James took me out for a late night out on the town which I spent lugging his drunken form back to the house. I vowed to leave the details of it from my parents since the two would be on their home tomorrow afternoon.

I was also particularly excited for the party not only because my friends would be leaving the next day but because it meant Bella and I could return to normal.

Since they arrived, I spent a lot of time venting to Bella about having them around. Having justified the situation with James back in Chicago she immediately understood my hesitance to have her around them. It made me love her even more that she understood as best as she did.

_What did I do to deserve such a girl?_

"Just think, later on tonight we'll be together celebrating your birthday and tomorrow you can celebrate their departure." Bella joked on the phone with me.

"I cannot wait to see you." I told her truthfully.

School was the only alone time we could find without them around so the hopes of actual alone time soon was enough to perk up every inch of me.

"I should go get ready." And in the background I could hear the nagging whispers of an insistent sister.

"Alice huh?" I assumed correctly.

"She made me promise to help me get ready for tonight and apparently that starts now." she moaned begrudgingly.

"Well good luck with that." I said with a smile to my tone.

"I could say the same for you." Bella laughed. "Oh and Happy Birthday Edward."

"Thanks Bella." I accepted. The love I had for her lingered close to the surface.

"See you tonight." She said.

"I love you." I blurted into the phone.

My breath hitched to a stall and I held my breath waiting for a response. Though, only the sound of the dial tone reached me and I knew she had hung up before I got the words out. It made me slightly relieved to know. If I was going to tell Bella I loved her, it would not be this way.

I dropped the phone onto my bed and slid into the washroom for a quick shower. When I got out James lay lounging on my bed with Victoria curled at his side.

"Happy Birthday." James wished holding a flask of what could only be Jack Daniels—his choice of poison.

To James, alcohol was like a venom running through his veins. The liquid made him stronger, more aggressive and a hell of a _lot_ intimidating. Most of my nights with James were centered on him being drunk and me cleaning up the messes. I never was proud of the things he made me do in terms of damage control. Even the nights I drank were full of drunken shenanigans normally not in my character. Those nights actually happened to lead to the night I lost my virginity to Tanya.

It was amazing how small the world turned out to be. I decided it would be best never to mention Tanya where James was concerned. He always tried hooking me up with different girls any time there were options available.

"So, you looking forward to this party tonight?" James inquired deviously.

"Yeah." I said sounding grim but not enough for him to notice.

I stared at the scene lying out on my bed. James and Victoria, the sexual lust, the booze and the trouble all of it spelt out.

I looked forward to tonight alright.

Looked forward to getting it over and done with.

**BPOV**

"Ouch!" I yelped feeling the hot iron sizzle against my earlobe.

"Sorry Bells. Didn't mean to do that." Alice apologized.

I giggled at all of Alice's effort to make me look beautiful for Edward's party. The deed sure wasn't an easy task but Alice took it head on calling in reinforcements in Rose.

Lately the only time Edward and I spent together had been during school and all extra curricular activities were limited because of it. I longed to feel the physically intimacy Edward and I developed, to put touch to the feelings I felt for him. And one day, hopefully, an 'I Love You.'

Edward had his reasons for the lack of time together. With his old friends in town and the stories he told me it was all for the greater good. In fact, I praised his strength to deal with the two during their short visit. Especially since Carlisle and Esme were victims of a different kind of public display of affection one night.

Tonight would mark the last day of their trip to Forks and I all but did a little dance to celebrate. Tomorrow both would be on a plane back to Chicago and I'd be alone with Edward savouring every minute in suspense of the inevitable 'I Love You' I so badly wanted to scream out to the world.

A knock came from the doorway and before it finished Rosalie walked into the room already primped and ready to head out for a night out on the town. I envied her ability to look good at all times but remembered her looks seemed to be the bane of her existence. She didn't do much else besides Emmett and working hard to be even more beautiful than she was naturally.

_Being one of the unlucky ones to see Rosalie with makeup was enough to make anyone self conscious. Rose with makeup almost made being a woman useless._

Her presence made my stomach tighten with a drop of jealousy. To achieve a look half as good as Rose on a bad day it took hours of Alice's handy work. Tonight was my boyfriend's birthday so anything less than hot would not cut it for my sister.

_She may be small but Alice is mighty intimidating with a hot iron clutched in her hand. Being stuck to a chair no longer registers your height advantage beneficial._

Again that knot twisted my stomach. Even Alice mastered the art of looking good all the time. The only difference between her and Rose could be measured in the time allotted for the process. Alice didn't have to work hard at it. Her short spiky hair was easily managed. Getting ready, to Alice, was quick work and she never had to worry about it all day.

"Almost done." Alice estimated checking over every inch of my scalp for creases.

Rosalie perched herself on the end of bed for better lighting. Apparently her eyeliner had imperfections and I couldn't resist glowering at her without her noticing.

Hopefully, the longer I was in a relationship the more attention I would pay to my looks. Maybe some day it could be effortless for me and I wouldn't have to be forced into a chair before every date and so on.

Once Alice hummed satisfied with my hair she called Rosalie over to help with the makeup application. My outfit lay spread on my bed with the two standing over the ensemble debating over what look would pull everything together.

I caught the decisive "hm" from Rose who searched through her own supply of makeup equipment before surfacing with a palette of ambers, sable browns, yellows, and gold shimmer.

"We need to play up those eyes. Make them sparkle." Rosalie pointed out. "Just a bit of gold shimmer for the sparkling portion of your look and darker amber shade to bring out the brown in your eyes."

Rosalie went on demonstrating her extensive knowledge of makeup. She illustrated how every part of one's makeup should blend well. "The main objective is to achieve a look that suits you without making it overly obvious you were wearing anything at all."

Eventually I tuned out to let Rosalie do her thing. Instead, I listened to Alice's humming. I closed my eyes and sang along with the song and to her voice in my head.

"Okay." Alice beamed with pride turning me finally to look into a mirror. My eyes shot open and I gasped at my reflection.

I barely recognized myself.

Alice and Rosalie had a knack for making me look good but comfortable at the same time. Because the occasion deemed it necessary, my best friend and sister went all out but I definitely could not complain.

_With any luck Edward won't either._

The look was subtle but so pronounced and certainly much more than I was particularly used too. I stood staring gape-jawed at the mirror.

"Wow." I congratulated in a speechless whisper.

"Thanks" The two said in unison.

"Now get dressed then put these on." Alice instructed.

Immediately I recognized the earrings as my mom's. I couldn't say anything so Alice interjected for me.

"Your mom sent them over. Charlie told her about Edward's party and she couldn't resist the opportunity to dress you up in some way for your first big occasion as a girlfriend." Alice clarified.

"He told my mom about it?" I said a bit surprised but touched nonetheless.

"We are talking about Charlie here remember. The same dad who told your mom you fell off your bike when your four and then Renee flew over right after only to find you only had a scratch."

I cracked up at the memory of my frantic mother arriving in Forks thinking I did major damage falling off my bike. She also failed to listen to the rest of her messages which outlined the injury as very _very_ minor.

We continued laughing as we all put the finishing touches to our looks. Emmett and Jasper met us in the foyer when it was time to leave.

"You ladies look gorgeous this evening." Jasper complimented sending a second glance in my direction. His hand twisted with Alice's and he beamed at her knowing I looked this good because of her.

"You sure do." Emmett agreed although too occupied to really notice anything while smothering Rosalie in a hug with Alice and I standing beside him.

Jasper took Alice's arm and led the way out the door. Charlie called from the doorway wishing us a good evening and to wish Edward a happy birthday for him. I had the gift I bought tucked under my arm.

Driving to the party was mellow. Thankfully Jasper had good taste in music and he kept Emmett far removed from taking control of the stereo. Alice, Rosalie and I squished into the backseat giggling every time Jasper slapped Emmett's hand away from the radio.

The party's venue was immediately familiar. It happened to be located right next to an old ballet studio I once took dance lessons at. The sight of it filled me repressed childhood humiliation. Charlie made me suffer through a years worth of dance classes with Alice before recognizing my inherit inability.

We pulled into the banquet hall and got out of the car. Considering Edward's distaste for putting too much emphasis on his birthday he would enjoy the casual feel of this place. Sure it was a banquet hall but it wasn't overly fancy or elegant- more semi-formal meets casual if you will.

Edward hurried over to meet us at the doorway when our eyes locked on each other as soon as we got through the entrance. He clung to my side with the same desperation I had been feeling since his friends rolled into town; that of not spending enough time together. Alice and the rest of them let us have this little moment of ours. I swung my arms around his neck and kissed him so passionately my knees might have buckled with the emotion had Edward not been holding on tight enough. Eventually Emmett gave us an interruptive cough acknowledging their presence. I plied myself from Edward's lips licking the remnants of him from them while the others got their turn wishing him a happy birthday.

I followed Edward and the rest of them to sit our gifts in the small corner where others were stashed. This wasn't a typical invite-only party. Carlisle and Esme knew Edward was too old to have a birthday party with cake and games and such so they rented out the hall, brought in a state of the art stereo system and left the rest up to Edward. They didn't worry about anything going array during the party because Forks teens were pretty tame when it came to parties. Half the teenage population of Forks was already crowded into the room mingling amiably with one another. Even some of the Quileute boys from the reservation showed up. When I scanned the room again I noticed Tanya hanging off the boy I met at the Denali-Swan picnic. I remembered his name being Jacob but I decided I would keep my distance from them tonight.

Now, tonight I wanted to focus on my boyfriend. With all the people crowding the room I only had eyes for Edward.

He brought me to the dance floor relentlessly hoping to get me to dance. I refused profusely but his eyes did that thing again and next thing I knew I was propped up on his feet like a little child at weddings dancing with their father.

"So, where are your infamous friends?" I asked after a long make out session took over our objective to 'dance'.

"Somewhere." Edward answered distractedly leaning in to kiss me again.

I returned the kiss leaning my body into his. It had been so long since I felt this physical with him. Nothing had happened since my bedroom that night but ever since I fiercely wish it would.

My need for closeness made me confident enough to take his hand and lead him away from the dance floor. I dragged him to a dark corner and kissed him hard pressing myself into his chest. Edward said nothing but followed my lead. The only sounds we made were grunted noises of pleasure as our hands cupped and groped each other selfishly.

I let my hand cup around his crotch rubbing lightly while his hand followed suit tracing the hem of my skirt with one finger before passing under the material. I groaned into his neck biting the skin between my teeth and tugging slightly. The bite made Edward stiffen momentarily stopping his motions but when he resumed he went on excitedly. He grasped my arms turning me over to press my back against the wall. We kissed for such a long time before hearing someone call out Edward's name above the hustle and bustle of the crowd.

He let out an exasperated sigh and I guessed he must have recognized the voice.

A tall figure with broad shoulders appeared through the shadows where Edward and I were hiding. We moved apart quickly and unsatisfied trying to look decent before we came into view. James, as I had realized, wasn't alone. A woman, of almost the same height, was wrapped around his side. The light shone on her fiery red hair and I felt my gut tighten at how much it reminded me of Tanya and I felt the same inferior feeling as before.

"Eddie boy, where'd you go? We were just about to get the party started." James teased dangling a metal flask in Edward's face.

I must have still been cloaked by the shadows because James didn't notice me right away. I saw the redhead nudge her boyfriend in the ribs and eye the spot at Edward's right. Edward stepped to his left letting the light cascade over me. James' eyes opened with surprise momentarily then grew mischievous.

"Enjoying a bit of a birthday snack huh?" James said clapping Edward proudly on the shoulder.

"James this is my _girlfriend_ Bella." Edward answered sternly and I felt my own pride swell at the emphasis on girlfriend. "Bella this is James and Victoria, the friends from Chicago I told you about."

I reached my hand out but swiped it back quickly when I clued in that handshaking wasn't their thing. I just smiled as politely as possible snaking my arm around Edward's back squeezing tightly in a show of moral support. Having his friends over was taking a toll on Edward and I heard it in his voice every time I talked to him.

The concept took James by surprise again but he regained his composure quicker this time.

"Girlfriend. Really?" James said disbelieving. "Edward Cullen dates now? No more stray pussy for the Ed-man.?

His words weren't comforting but I knew Edward was honest about his past; at least to a point. Yet, hearing about his possible 'indiscretions' from someone who knew him longer stung a little. There was still so much of Edward that was a mystery to me.

"Excuse me," I coughed timidly, "I need to use the ladies room. It was nice meeting you two."

I squeezed Edward's hand with affection so he wouldn't think I was upset about the comment. Of course I was but I wasn't going to let it bother me too much. It's not like I didn't already know he had more experience in the sex department but how much more seemed to be the issue.

But I wasn't going to let it bother me.

I loved Edward.

**EPOV**

I watched Bella's retreating form upset. In a split second James had compromised all of my attempts at easing into a physical relationship with Bella. Until now I hadn't been pressuring her at all but I knew how the comment must have sounded and how it must have made her feel.

_Inferior._

Anger blistered inside me at James for his inconsiderate comment. Watching Bella walk away I punched James in the arm for not thinking before he spoke.

It barely fazed him but doing it felt well nonetheless.

"Do you ever think about anyone else but yourself?" I scolded inches from his face.

He laughed and the heat in my cheeks grew hotter.

"Relax man, she just went to use the ladies room." he tried to sound convincing.

"I like her. A lot. Don't screw with it." I said surely.

"Blah Blah. Have some JD it'll make you feel better. Maybe make you less irritable." James offered shoving the flask up to my nose. The smell of whiskey sent my head spinning but I caught myself before the temptation overcame me.

There was a line and he was dangerously close to crossing it.

"Alcohol really? Do you _want _to get arrested?" I asked incredulously. "This isn't Chicago James. Underage drinking isn't taken lightly around here. Get rid of it. Now." I warned.

"What harm will a little JD do? This party could use a little lift anyways." he answered scrutinizing the crowd with his distorted view on what the term party actually meant.

In Chicago, parties were alcohol filled blowouts no one gave a shit about because at every corner some teen was drinking underage. Here in Forks, parties were a lot more subdued but still as entertaining. Teens here were creative without alcohol proving you don't need booze to party. And, because it was so rare in such a small town, anyone caught in Forks drinking underage was taken very seriously. The town had a zero tolerance policy for such actions. Why else would my parents rent a party room and leave a bunch of teenagers unattended?

"I said. Get. Rid. Of. It." I warned again enunciating each word through gritted teeth.

"And what are you going to do about it?" James dared moving into me with his chest.

Years of repressed anger boiled to the surface. Moving to Forks was the best thing to ever happen to me and it got me away from this douche bag of a friend. Now was the time to be done with it all and tell James exactly how I felt.

First I slapped the flask from his grip letting it hit the floor with a small clanking sound. Victoria released her own grip on James sensing the hostility building between us.

"Get the fuck out of my party James." I ordered. "And stay the fuck out of my life."

Anger boiled over in James as well who eyed me angrily looking from me to the discarded flask on the floor.

"Oh now you're a tough guy huh? First you prance around town fucking any girl you see, now you have a _girlfriend_? Does your little girlfriend know one of your tramps is here tonight?" he said pushing his chest out a little defensively.

"Bella knows about Tanya." I told him seriously not backing down.

"Tanya? She's here? I was talking about Victoria over here." James revealed and a murmur of gasps and shocked sounds reverberated around us. It was the first time I noticed the crowd of people forming around us. I locked eyes with Emmett and the rest of Bella's group suddenly red now with embarrassment and anger.

I froze unable to think straight. Victoria cowered at James' side showing she knew just as little as I at how James found out.

"You heard right. At the house party last Halloween I overheard you two jack rabbits going at it in the bathroom. In fact the whole party heard you too that night." James went on clarifying.

Victoria tried apologizing but James dismissed her attempts.

I looked back toward where Bella's family stood to see Bella standing in front of them. Her hand covered her mouth and I saw she was quietly sobbing. I stepped in her direction but she put a hand out to stop me. Instead she turned around into the crowd which parted to let her through.

"Bella!" I called out to her but as quickly as the gap formed it shut behind her.

Someone started laughing and I swiveled around to see James holding his stomach with laughter. I set my arm out to punch him landing one hard hit to his right eye. I shook off the pain in my knuckles and went after Bella.

**BPOV**

The sobbing wouldn't stop as I sat down on a crate behind the Ballet studio. I don't know why I ran the way I had but seeing Edward get defensive and aggressive over what James had exposed brought out a whole new side I wasn't sure I was ready to face.

Not only had another one of Edward's sexual partners been his best friend's girlfriend but once again the girl was model fucking material and I felt like a complete ugly duckling in comparison.

The sobs grew harder with all the thoughts scrambling around in my head.

Even with all this going on I wasn't sure I was so much mad at Edward as I was mad at myself. For once in my life there was a guy who did not make an entire relationship about sex. Knowing my boyfriend had once been the guy I never could see myself with put what felt like an insurmountable gap between Edward and I now.

I don't know how long I had been sitting out there for but it was getting chillier by the second. Small tears left a cold trail down my cheek as I worked to even my breathing. I so badly wanted to break the sobbing and just relax and face this head on. There was obviously more to Edward than sex and I knew it.

The breeze rose gooseflesh up my arms as I wrapped them around my abdomen in the shelter of my shirt.

Footsteps became louder but I stared at the ground not looking up. The figure crept closer and I started to feel their body heat soothe me against the chill in the air. Their footsteps came into view and my eyes shot up to meet his. I stood up to walk away not wanting to face him.

When I turned in the opposite direction his strong grip grabbed a hold of my arm pulling me back to face him. I struggled against his grip but his hold grew stronger.

He pushed me backwards making me stumble on the crate I had been sitting on. His hands pressed me harder against the rough surface of the brick wall. This time I resisted more forcefully but to no avail.

I sobbed again but with a different emotion.

The heat of his breath swam across my face and filled my nostrils with the poignant scent of whiskey.

"You're hurting me." I tried saying to get him to let go.

A hoarse chuckle left him and I fought harder against his hold.

"Please." I whispered afraid now.

The grip didn't loosen and I thrashed harder against him using every fiber in me.

I felt his arm pin me to the wall while his other hand groped sensually over my defenseless form. His palm cupped a breast and massaged it gently before moving lower and under my skirt. I clenched my legs shut hoping it would deter him but he was much stronger than I.

Odd sensations coursed through me as he rubbed between my thighs ss I tried in vain to resist enjoying the urges. I pounded him with all my might punching and kicking but he always got the upper hand.

He reached for the hem of my underwear thrusting them off until they were around my ankles.

I kept crying and trying to breathe through the continuous heavy sobs and cursing loudly hoping someone would hear.

"James, no. Please stop."

But he didn't.

**.......................................................**

**A/N: Cliffie much? **


	11. Cold Sweat

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: Hey guys, I know there were some concerns over Edward last chapter but I assure you there is a reason. If you're still not satisfied I blame in on my ability too sometimes makes things complicated. **_

_**And sorry for making you guys wait. I find I can't write angsty stuff when I'm in good moods so it was hard to sit down and committ and crank it out.**_

_**Thanks so much for the patience 3**_

**Chapter 11 - Cold Sweat**

**BPOV**

*****

Whiskey was the only thing I could concentrate on. His warm breath muddled my senses inches away from my face. It was starting to make me feel nauseous and the effort of it all made beads of perspiration form on my forehead. The fighting made me unbelievably tired and I could barely struggle against James' hold anymore. I tried screaming but it sounded more like a wailing bird through the thickness of my sobbing.

"Shut up." James said seriously covering my mouth with his hand. They smelt of cigarette smoke and I choked against the urge to vomit.

There was no use screaming anymore. I stopped and he lifted his hand from my mouth and continued on.

My breath came quick and short with the pressure of his weight against me. Luckily for me, James seemed too fascinated with groping to pay attention to a figure crossing into view in the distance. Their stare was fixed in our direction and I prayed silently hoping they would stop this now before it went any further. All the fear running through me with James pressed against me wasn't so profound knowing someone was near.

I did my best, though; pounding my fists against him but James barely flinched. He had me pinned against the wall with his forearm sternly, pressing his knee into my leg for a better advantage. I shut my eyes shoving hard against him until all the weight of him ceased to put any pressure on me.

The weight disappeared.

Immediately I fell to the floor where I stood heaving heavily finally able to catch a deep breath. Around me I could hear the muffled sounds of a confrontation and more footsteps approaching. There was no way to concentrate on what was going on as loud yelling took over the muffled confrontation and sirens blocked out the rest.

Knowing things couldn't get much worse I sat still until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my shoulders and I felt the warmth of a jacket surround me. I flinched harshly at the contact but Alice's soothing voice calmed me instantly and I snuggled into her small frame and sobbed deeply now crying. Tears made seeing impossible while a second set of arms assisted in pulling me to a standing position. Alice hugged me too her chest smoothing my hair in comforting strokes humming to me that I was alright. I questioned how right she was at the moment but let her voice ease me nonetheless.

No matter how mad, upset or whatever I was at Edward I couldn't resist the urge to search the crowd for him. When I found him amongst the crowd Edward looked straight in my direction, smudges covering his face distorted by the light of the streetlamps. He started walking closer but Emmett and Jasper instinctively put themselves between me and Edward blocking my view of him.

"You'll regret this!." I heard James threaten from somewhere beyond my field of vision.

"Come on son. Don't make this worse for yourself." Another familiar voice spoke back and I suddenly felt the safest since James first approached me.

"Get her home." Charlie ordered conflicted with paternal worry and the duties of being the town's Chief of Police.

Alice and Rosalie, both supporting me at the elbow, led me away from the scene and into Jasper's car. I let the two women support me exhausted from trying to fend off James.

The ride home was a blur.

My thoughts remained on trying to figure out where everything went south, to what provoked James. From what I could muster it had to have been sometime between me storming out of the party and sitting alone on the crate before he found me. It seemed redundant and obvious because of course something had to have happened when I left.

Then I remembered in vivid detail the weight of James on me and all my self restraint went out the window. Cuddled into Alice I began weeping softly against her chest again. I thought about what all this meant for me now and the tears just came. No one made any sounds to comfort me. They knew I needed this.

Jasper pulled into the driveway and I followed Alice out of the car. Emmett came from behind and slid his arm around my back supporting my weight easily and walked me inside. Once in, he brought me to my bedroom with the rest of them in tow. He let me crawl into bed at my own speed before placing a small brotherly kiss on my forehead. I saw the crease in his own forehead and it appeared deeper than the first time I caught a glimpse of his face in the car. He seemed frustrated about something, almost disappointed in himself, probably for not getting there sooner.

With whatever strength I had left I pulled myself up to hug him around his waist and pressed my face into his chest. He didn't return the hug at first, likely startled by movement. Emmett finally tightened his grip on me and I heard the low whisper of "I'm sorry" in my ear. I hugged tighter enjoying the familiar feel of my brother's grip around me. Alice jumped on the bed to join us encompassing us with her arms resting her head on my shoulder.

I started to sob again but I stopped myself quickly. The burden of their bodies against mine awoke the newly inflicted injuries and I groaned a little with the pain. My siblings pulled away rapidly apologizing for causing me more discomfort. I stifled a laugh feeling it irk my ribs.

Jasper stood solo in the doorway and I motioned him to come over.

"I'm glad Edward found you Bella." He said thankful hugging me lightly. Alice cleared her throat at the mention of Edward's name but I paid no attention. I hugged him back thanking him.

"You two should go now; we have to get Bella ready for bed." Rosalie added.

"Goodnight Bella." Jasper said disappearing into the hallway.

"Night Bells." Emmett whispered hopping from my bed following after Jasper. The crease seemed to have softened a bit but I knew it wasn't in Emmett's nature to let serious things go so easily. Not where his family were concerned.

Once the guys were gone, Rosalie and Alice stripped me and got me into my pajamas.

Alice laid a small kiss to my temple lulling me to sleep with motherly gestures. She ran her thumb under my puffy red eyes wiping any excess tears looking woeful. Rosalie made to leave but I grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Thank you Rose." I said sending her a small but grateful smile. She nodded in acknowledgment and left the room. Rose was never one to get overwhelmed by emotions but she cared even still and it was all that mattered.

Before Alice made to leave as well I had to stop her.

"Please don't let Charlie tell my mom. Please." I whispered hoarsely to her. "Not yet, anyways."

"I won't."

The last thing I needed was my mom here hovering over me. I would tell her myself when I was good and ready to tell her how I actually was. There was no need to worry her pretty little head over it just yet. I barely had time to assess myself.

After a few minutes of lying in bed I fell asleep quickly.

I woke up groggy the next morning my eyes slightly less puffy than the night before. My clothes were plastered to my body from the cold sweat of a restless sleep. I hopped in the shower hastily and changed into a different set of pajamas.

When I went down to breakfast my family was somber and quiet. Every word was cautious and second guessed as though they were treading on broken glass around me worried about saying the wrong thing.

My nightmares during the night didn't help the dark spots under my eyes. The others stared at me with deep concern and sympathy. Their worry made me feel guilty so I did my best to show everyone I was fine. But, I had to be careful not to smile too much because they would never buy it. I knew if I were too okay after something like that then there must be something wrong with me.

_No one gets almost raped and wakes up smiling about it._

My dad gathered his things about the leave for work so I followed him to the foyer.

"By the way honey, your mom is flying in tonight."

"You told her!?" I gasped knowing the promise I made with Alice.

"I didn't. Alice did." He answered.

I turned to face Alice who stood sneakily in the doorway overseeing the goodbyes. "You promised Alice!"

"There was nothing in there about me calling her." Alice responded to my red faced expression. "She has a right to be here".

"Ugh!" I huffed upset at having to deal with my overprotective mother before I could even process what happened.

"Don't worry sweetie. Everything will be fine." Charlie added doing the last button to his coat.

Charlie hugged me tightly then left for work. The pressure reminded me of the bruises forming underneath the clothing and my face contorted with the pain. But, I made no move to pull away.

He promised we would talk about last night when I was up for it. As a cop you're taught to press for information but as a father Charlie knew he had to take steps towards something like this. If it were up to him he'd skip work and stay home all day making sure I didn't have a nervous breakdown or something. I think my dad knew my mom would do all that for him when she got here.

I loved my dad but I loved him more for not being the hovering type. Although, you might say he lived vicariously through my mother.

It was an order that I stay home from school today and Alice decided to join me. I doubted anyone wanted to leave me alone right now. My sister felt it imperative for me to take some time away before facing the entire school body of Fork's High. She didn't want me in spotlight with the entire student body whispering about the dark turn Edward's party took. Nothing this severe had happened in Forks in ages so I knew I was bound to be the talk of the town for awhile.

I sat on the couch still pajama clad. Alice joined me bringing with her two individual portioned cartons of ice cream. We stayed there for some time just eating our ice cream making small talk. Eventually, Alice got sick of the casualties and got straight to the hard stuff.

"Bells…You know you need to talk about this right? So you don't bottle it all up and repress it then explode with all your emotions in the future." Alice said only somewhat cautious.

One thing about Alice was she always faced things head on, never let them linger. She could be like any other sister and leave me to my own devices, let me deal with this on my own but it wasn't Alice to let that happen. Alice wasn't going to let me be another sexual assault victim; she wanted me to beat this.

And then I thought about it all. I thought about people who have been through something this terrible and I started feeling unbelievably guilty for being the one who got away. I sunk further into the couch slouching.

"I know…" I replied looking into the carton of ice cream. "I just don't know if I'm up for it yet Al."

"How about I talk and you listen for a bit?" she offered hoping to fill in some of the gaps starting from when I left the party. "If I say something that upsets you tell me okay?"

"Okay." I fulfilled.

But something had been bothering me about last night and I needed to ask before she started. "Before you begin Al, who called Dad? When I saw him last night he wasn't in uniform."

"Apparently someone tipped him off about underage drinking and considering his daughter was at the party Charlie rushed right over. Whoever it was though called him at home because he was off duty." Alice answered.

_Someone called Charlie personally?_

Her answered stunned me for a minute but when Alice started talking again I put the curiosity to rest to listen.

"But we'll figure that out later. For now let's talk about what happened after you left the party. Remember if I say something that bothers you just say it." She said now with caution.

I shook my head for her to continue.

"When you stormed off Edward and James got into a bit of a physical altercation." Alice began to tell me. "Well more like he knocked James out then went frantically looking for you."

I kept my stare focused on the ice cream listening.

"He looked everywhere. No one knew where you ran off too." Alice continued, "It didn't help that Emmett got in Edward's face about why you left. He looked like a tomato ready to explode with how irate he was."

The image of Emmett as an exploding tomato made me smile despite myself.

"When Edward said he couldn't find you Emmett stopped being angry for a second and we all went out looking for you." Alice said her voice turning into a soft whisper as she herself remembered what the night had been for her as well.

"We all got so worried because we couldn't find you. That's when Edward split and disappeared until we did find you." She went on explaining, "You were sitting on the ground while Edward subdued James long enough for the cops to show up. His face is pretty busted up because of it".

I wasn't sure if this was her way of making me feel better or if Alice was giving me reasons to forgive Edward.

"He tried to talk to you last night but the guys kept his distance from you." She told me.

"I remember that." I said still staring into the ice cream but not eating it anymore.

"So it was Edward who pulled him off of me?" I needed to know.

"Yeah. I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't found you Bella. I don't know what I'd do… He saved your life." Alice said with tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"I'm okay Alice. See?" I said pointing to my arms and legs, "Still alive and kicking." I went on not trying to be funny on purpose.

She pinched my arm and giggled at me when I squirmed.

"I know." Alice said and I squeezed her arm with affection.

This was where I knew the conversation needed to end.

"Thanks for wanting to talk Al, but I'm kind of talked out for now when it comes to this topic. Can we just try and be normal for awhile? I think it's what I need." I explained.

"Do you want to talk about Edward?" She asked leaning up on the couch.

"No." I countered. "Not yet anyways."

"When you do, I'm here okay?" She offered with a sympathetic grin.

"Thanks." I said honestly.

For now I just needed to not think about last night and focus on something else. I needed to forget the trauma and have some time to realize what life was like before all of this. It was hard. The only person I wanted right now to make it all feel normal again was Edward. Whatever I felt against him boiled up in me again and I fought against the nauseous feeling rising in my stomach.

I excused myself from the living room citing a need for a nap. Once in the sanctuary of my room, I turned on the stereo** and plopped myself onto the edge of my bed.

What hurt the most was the overwhelming feeling of inferiority. To know now I knew so little about him seemed like a betrayal and knowing I could never compare made it even worse. It was starting to feel like I was in love with half of a person. What did I really know about Edward?

I'd only ever known the clumsy Edward who was made of electricity which I felt every time he touched me. The Edward who opened doors for me and won me over with just one look into his eyes. The Edward who made me feel like I belonged. Now I just felt more of an outsider than ever.

There was no changing the fact I was virgin and he was not. I accepted that when I found out about Tanya. It was that the person he was back then was the exact type of guy I avoided with every cell of my being. In my heart I know I could never have loved the person he was then but at the same time I'd never known that side of him. Could Edward be enough of an exception? How did I know he wasn't just looking for sex from me and that would be it?

As ridiculous as the thought seemed in the moment I couldn't ignore the possibilities. Everything James said to Edward stuck with me. He did know Edward longer so how could I argue?

I couldn't deny how I felt for Edward despite it all. Parts of me wanted him here so badly but it wouldn't be a good idea. We would have to talk eventually to settle things I just didn't know when I would be up for it.

I decided to use a familiar method for decision making and walked over to my desk, picked up a notepad and pen and resumed my sitting.

Pros and Cons.

_Cons_

_-he lied_

_-has only slept with women who might as well be models_

_-knew the type of person J was when he got to Forks_

_-slept with his best friend's girl (during a party no less + with witnesses)_

_-_

_Pros_

_-he saved me _

_I love him._

I tossed the notepad behind me on the bed. This whole thing was frustrating and I started to think the nap was a good idea. After turning up the music *** and making sure my playlist was set, I curled up over the blankets and closed my eyes.

The playlist was the same for moments like these. A little _**Cat Power, **_and_** Carla Bruni **** **_always helped me sleep when things got difficult.

I let the music soothe me to sleep.

The streetlights were flickering this time. That was odd. And a hand was covering my mouth causing my voice to come out in mumbled murmur. Then the flickering lights disappeared and only a dark figure came into view. It was like I could smell the whiskey and cigarettes all over again.

I was back behind the ballet studio struggling against a nondescript figment of my imagination although I knew without a doubt that it was meant to be James. The sobbing came quicker this time but it all melted together; the struggling, the crying, the fighting. It was all restricted by the normal limitations of dreams; the inability to speak, the feeling that you're fighting so hard but you're really not moving much, and how you can't really make out any details. This only comforted me a little knowing it was just a dream but I tried hard to wake up anyways.

Finally the dream broke and I stared up at the ceiling in a cold sweat. I wiped my forehead and checked the clock at my bedside.

_Only twenty minutes, what the heck?_ It felt like I had been asleep so much longer.

Music still played on in the background. I took the stereo remote and put the songs on shuffle. The slow songs were becoming too much of a downer so I flipped through the first few songs for something either completely irrelevant or loud and mind numbing. Eventually something came up and I turned the volume up higher. *****

My full length mirror rested near the radio and I caught a glimpse of myself in it. The neckline of my pajama's displayed a dark patch across my collarbone. I froze in front of it assessing the discolouration of the bruises settling under the skin. Alice probably wouldn't walk in any time soon so I pulled my shirt up over my head to get a full view of it all. My eyes contorted in surprise and disgust.

All across my collarbone were dark bluish spots where James' had held me with his forearm. The image of him forcing me to the wall made me cringe. It was in my genetics to bruise easily.

I stepped out of my pajama bottoms next to examine my entire body. A spot on my leg where James used his knee for leverage had a small dark spot from the impact.

The damage was minor compared to the possible outcome had no one stopped it. The bruises would fade eventually and so would the memory. It only needed time.

I got dressed and walked back into the living room where Alice still sat mindlessly watching bad daytime television. We stayed like that until Emmett came in from school. He joined us on the couch and I saw the second glance at the visible parts of the bruise. I reached for a pillow self-conscious and hugged it to my chest to hide it.

It was nice to sit around with my siblings. Things like this seemed so long ago before we all coupled off and found less time for just the three of us. There wasn't much talking but we laughed together at the little things on the TV and Emmett cracked a few jokes to lighten the atmosphere.

In the middle of it, a knock came from the door. Immediately I went for it thinking it had to be my mother but was staggered to see the familiar topaz eyes I longed to see again.

Before I could say anything Emmett raced in and stepped in front of me. Obviously he didn't want Edward near me right now. I wanted to just push Em out of the way but it would be no use. I wouldn't be able to move a rock.

"Can I speak to Bella for a minute?" Edward asked looking up at Emmett's muscular frame towering over him.

"Like fuck you can't" Emmett returned the question.

"Emmett please, I can speak for myself" I said from behind my brother.

"You're not going anywhere near Cullen Bella." He said without waiver.

"Don't forget, he did save me." I replied comforted by the thought but still too upset to let it overshadow his wrong doings.

I moved closer to the doorway finally able to see Edward's face.

Dark spots clouded his eye and cheekbones. Dry blood was caked to the corner of his lip. I wanted to run out the door and caress each bruise with my fingertips and pretend like none of it happened but I stood stock still my hands clenched to my sides to restrain myself.

"Save you or not, you're not going anywhere near him." Emmett spoke through gritted teeth. He looked ready to pounce.

Edward had been my life since he walked into it and now that certain circumstances had ripped us apart I felt unbelievably torn myself. I was getting the feeling that to my family Edward was as much hero as he was villain and I was unmistakably the damsel in distress.

"Let her talk to him Em." Alice insisted from behind all of us.

"Stay out of it Alice." He said determined to get Edward to go away.

"I just want to talk." Edward begged.

"That's too bad then huh?" Emmett scowled moving to close the door.

I didn't have the strength to move my brother but I did have speed. I snuck between Edward and the door, not really thinking, before Emmett could shut it properly.

"Let me talk to him Em. I'll be right here outside this door. You and Alice can stay in the foyer." I offered. "Just let me talk to him."

Reluctance filled Emmett's eyes but after I gave him a look of confidence he hesitantly let go of the door.

"I'm staying put right here." He said firmly.

"Thank-you." I replied and closed the door behind me.

**EPOV**

"Bella…" I trailed off unable to remember half of the things I had rehearsed.

"Save it Edward." She said and I looked at her taken aback. "I'm not sure what you can say to make this okay."

"All I want is to be completely honest with you Bella." I replied standing straighter. "I know it doesn't seem like I have been lately but there is an explanation for it all."

"You lied Edward. Where was Victoria when you so badly wanted to be honest with me before? Remember? When you decided to be honest about Tanya, where was all of this?" Bella answered remarkably calm for someone did wrong by someone close to her.

"I can explain that if you'll let me please." I told her sincerely hoping my eyes still held their same power.

All I needed was for her to listen. To give me one chance.

She didn't answer right away but nodded, turning her head away, longing to be out from my sight. The door behind her must have looked like a refuge and she wasn't hiding its pull. This gesture made my heart clench with heartbreak to have her look at me as some sort of monster.

"Go on." She finally said crossing her arms defensively in front of her looking to the ground.

"What James said about Victoria wasn't true…" I started to explain. "At least not in the way he said it."

"And in what way is it true or not true?" Bella all but spat at the thought.

I took an inhale of breath before speaking.

"This is going to sound weird and you probably won't believe it but its true okay?" I said and waited for a glimpse of an open mind before revealing the truth.

"The night of the Halloween party people had heard us. But we weren't having sex. It sounded like it but that's what Victoria made it seem like we were doing. She was pissed at James and I was annoyed at him so I didn't protest. People had seen us go into the bathroom together so Victoria planned on rumors reaching James to make him jealous and hurt after he had fooled around with some girl. I got stuck as a puppet in their sick twisted games and there's no taking it back. After it happened James never mentioned or confronted us about what happened so we figured he never knew. We decided it would be best to forget about it. And I did." I finished saying and begun to feel ashamed of the things I had done.

"So you didn't have sex?" Bella asked with a faint spark of hope beneath her disbelieving expression after hearing the real story.

"No." I said simply.

"Then what did James mean when he said 'no more stray...' well... you know." She questioned.

In the past I spent a lot of time hiding who I was. If anyone made me feel like myself, like a real person, it was Bella. And as stupid as I acted by not being more honest with her, she definitely did deserve the truth even if it changed her perception of me.

"James had this twisted way of thinking.'_If I get pussy, you're getting pussy_'." I said and saw her cringe at my choice of words. "Thing was he'd get drunk, we'd meet some girls, then he'd get too drunk to actually notice what happened after. James just assumed I was sleeping with all of them."

"And you never denied it?" Bella guessed correctly.

"I'm not proud of it but no, I didn't deny it. By that time I was too far gone with them I barely recognized who I was anymore. The person I pretended to be for them was better than who I was. Trust me I wasn't exactly the best received in Chicago; pale, well educated and very much the 'suffer in silence' type. Anything I could do to shed that image I did and courting James and Victoria, at the time, was my ticket to the in crowd. I let him think I was just as much a manslut as he. Truth be told, once James walked off with his girl for the night I was busy telling mine I wasn't interested. Come morning he wouldn't be able to remember enough about the night to prove me wrong."

Bella looked disconcerted at what I was telling her. She had only ever known Forks Edward, this was a completely different shade of him.

"Why though? Why lie? Why build a friendship on a pile of assumptions and half-truths?" She wondered hoping to understand.

"James and I always had a complicated relationship. Chicago isn't Forks, there's so small town camaraderie there like there is here. You take what you can get and I drew the short straw with James." I replied. "It is part of the reason I believe my Dad took the job here in Forks; to get me away from that crowd."

"So what you're telling me is; in order to be a part of the 'cool' crowd you let James think you weren't a virgin but a man slut and 'pretended' to sleep with your best friend's girlfriend to get back at him in some small way while remaining uninterested in either the countless number of girls or Victoria?" Bella summed up nicely much to my dismay.

"Pretty much." Was all I could say.

"So let me ask you this….what about Tanya? If you weren't interested in sleeping around why was Tanya an exception? What makes her different?" She scorned

"Eventually I got tired of boasting about my non-virginity. There's only so much you can talk about when you have no experience in the subject matter. When I met Tanya I was drunk, she was drunk, she was leaving Chicago soon and I would never see her again. At least that's what I thought. Things just happened."

Bella didn't say anything.

"I didn't tell you because admitting to boasting about having sex you never had is embarrassing. So is everything to do with Chicago. I was honest about Tanya because you had a right to the truth from me before learning it from someone else. Bella I've never lied to you about anything, not about how I feel about you, not about Tanya, none of it. I only ever omitted the fake manwhore part of me because I wanted you to know the real me, not something I pretended to be. We all have demons in our closet we hide from the world and those were it."

There was an awkward silence now replacing the usually comforting silence which fell between us.

"Bella... I'm not proud of what I've done, or of who I was. One thing for sure is I'm not that person, I was never that person." I spoke breaking the silence. "I've made mistakes and I can't change them. I should have sent James and Victoria packing when they got here. That much I should have done and instead I thought I could get through a few days with no incident and finally be done with them. If I had he wouldn't... he wouldn't have..." I trailed off too upset to continue.

"That wasn't your fault Edward."

"No but I could have prevented it."

"You stopped it."

"That's not enough. The last thing I ever wanted was to make you unsafe. I put you in the crossfire and it wasn't fair."

"Life isn't fair. Love isn't fair. Nothing is fair Edward."

I crossed the space between us in a few steps and cupped her face with my hands. Bella flinched at the contact but didn't move. There were light bruises forming across her collarbone visible through the plunge of her shirt's neckline. She covered them up with her palm self consciously but I lifted her hand away tracing the visible bruises with my thumb.

Her body tensed under my caress and I stopped tracing the bruises.

"I think you should go." she said barely audible over the beating of my heart.

"Bella please." I pleaded.

"I can't do this right now." Bella spoke conflicted.

I raised my hands to hold her face once more and looked longingly into her eyes. Nothing held me back as I pressed my lips against hers gently but desperately with every ounce of love I had for her hopeful she would feel it.

Bella's hands were cold over mine and her lips returned the kiss but ended prematurely. She peeled my hands away from her placing them at my sides.

"I really think you should go." She said with the same conflict clouding her voice.

"Please." I pleaded again.

"Edward, I need time. I need to figure out what all of this means. Please. Just go." Bella pleaded with me this time pressing her palm into my chest for me to go.

If I ever wanted her back I should give her space. Everything in me wanted to stay put until she figured it out, to stay right here and apologize a million times for everything. Instead, I held the hand she laid on my chest and kissed her knuckles still longing for more. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning and leaving using all leftover strength not to look back.

"Edward." I heard her call my name and swiveled to see her still standing at the doorway. I walked back over to her and waited for her to speak again.

"I'm sorry." Bella said.

**BPOV**

"For what?" he asked.

I traced the dark outline of the bruise covering his right eye with my thumb as he had done to mine. Seeing the damage done for saving me formed a huge lump in the throat with the emotion but I fought it back.

"I'm sorry." I whispered shutting my eyes and opening the door to escape inside.

Nothing in me had the will to move. I could still feel the electricity the kiss sent through my knuckles to the rest of my body. I made no move to leave the foyer and stood staring at the closed door listening to Edward pull out of the driveway.

Emmett and Alice slid away without a sound before I turned to see the foyer empty.

Having Edward here in front of me made me want him to stay, wanted him to make things right again. With all Edward had just told me I felt even more lost with all the emotions swimming in my head. I couldn't question whether he was lying or not because his eyes always told me every truth.

The silence of the entryway was deafening and I slipped off back into the reverie of my bedroom.

Once in my room again I felt my head spinning. All of my conflicting emotions swelled up all at one time following Edward's visit.

_Questions, answers, more questions, and even more I didn't know._

There had never been a time before in which I questioned Edward's intentions. Seeing him look me over allowed me to see a better perspective to his side in all of this. The look of genuine concern in his eyes, the disgust that followed when he saw the bruises and the desperation in his lips for my forgiveness; all of it just complicated things tenfold.

He was truly sorry, truly and deeply sorry. That much I could tell.

_But where did it leave me?_

I couldn't figure this out on my own.

"Alice!" I called out loudly summoning her to my bedroom.

She appeared in my doorsteps seconds later. "Yeah" she wondered.

"I need to talk." I told her and she recognized the subject matter immediately.

We talked for sometime about how responsible Edward was in all of it. The conversation went in circles for awhile debating every side of the argument.

I told Alice what Edward told me during our conversation on the porch. She gasped and sighed as I told her. After I ended she pursed her lips to one side, the way she always did when she was thinking, and tapped her hands against thighs.

Alice believed it was wrong of Edward to omit what he did, that as embarrassing as it was he could have told me. Then again, Alice believed it might have come out with time. We had only been dating barely a few months by this point and I'd known him only a shorter time beforehand. That kind of stuff usually isn't the best topic of conversation for a new couple.

Besides, Alice felt Edward was a genuine person. There could have been plenty of times he could have messed up and proved to be the wrong guy but he hadn't.

Her defense of Edward started to make me angry and I couldn't place why I felt that way.

I thanked Alice for talking about things with me but had to end our conversation right there. She agreed apologetically noting the distressed quiver my lips get when I'm super upset at something.

She closed the door behind her and I ran my fingers through my hair frustrated and exhausted.

Forgiving Edward wasn't going to erase what James did. It wasn't going to make the bruises fade faster or take away the nightmares. I would still be reminded of what happened even if Edward wasn't in the picture.

I fell back on the bed staring up at the ceiling mulling it over again.

And then it hit me.

If I forgave Edward I would have no one to blame.

All the blame that should be put toward James I put toward Edward. He was a scapegoat for James so I wouldn't have to face my attacker.

If there was no reason to be mad at Edward how could I be mad at what happened?

Whatever Edward did in the past I could get over with some time. Edward's honesty earlier proved that. He had been the same person all along but I couldn't see it because that side of him I loathed had done this too me only it was James not Edward.

The attack and Edward were two separate things.

What happened took a bigger toll on me than originally estimated. This whole time I thought my biggest problem was Edward and all the wrongs he did me when really it was being shoved up against an alley wall and not being able to get away on my own.

In order to move on I had to be able to forgive James. To be okay again I had to be able to forgive my attacker to be at peace whether James deserved it or not. It was the only way.

So where did that leave Edward? Why should I forgive and forget and get back to the way we were?

I shifted in my spot and felt something jab into my butt. I pulled the notepad from under me glancing at it quickly.

The words appeared to jump right off the page and I took a second look. The rest of the list proved false except for two lines.

He did save me.

And,

_I loved him, _with everything in me.

_I loved him._

I had to love him.

Everything in me was willing at this very moment to put aside everything and forgive him, let him help me heal.

But then I realized looking into those eyes again would only conjure the dark brown of James' glaring into mine exerting control.

It would take time.

I lay back down on my bed and closed my eyes to think.

I didn't notice I'd fallen asleep until someone calling my name made my eyes open. This voice was urgent and, after paying attention, I listened to it call out for me.

"Bella honey! Where are you?" I heard my mom belt from the front of the house.

_Hear we go._

**..........................................**

**A/N: **

**Here are a few songs I imagined for the chapter.**

*** Don't Take Your Love Away - Vast. **

**** Coal to Diamonds - The Gossip**

***** Fool - Cat Power**

****** Le Ciel Dans Une Chambre - Carla Bruni**

******* Crazy World - Wickaman**


	12. Hot Topic

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I just have fun with it.

_**A/N: I had so much trouble writing this chapter. Finally I came to a point where I'm satisfied with it, although it probably could have been SO much better.**_

_**I promise with the next chapter there will be more EPOV and hopefully more smut, which I have been lacking. Things just needed a resolution so I put it all in one chapter and got it out of the way.**_

_**Thanks for reading and hope it was at least worth some of the wait **_

_**  
:)**_

**Chapter 12 - Hot Topic**

**BPOV**

"Mom, mom! I love you too but squeeze me any tighter and I won't be able too anymore." I breathed suffocated by a barrage of motherly hugs.

Immediately she loosened her group apologizing. "Oh honey, I'm sorry!" She said holding me at arms length looking intently at my face. "I missed you so much and then Alice called and invited me down, well you know I couldn't say no!"

I looked to Alice who smirked slyly back to me. It would be way too easy to let Charlie break the news to my mom. No; my sister was leaving the hard stuff up to me.

_"Thanks Alice._" I mouthed to her while my mom embraced me once more, this time with a lot less force. The hugs felt nice. They brought me back. No one could deny feeling young again in their mother's arms.

As though just realizing Alice was in the room my mom's head jolted up and her arms vanished. Renee made a beeline for Alice who accepted the warm greeting delighted. While the two continued their hugging, a voice clearing its throat startled us all.

Emmett stood in the space where the foyer met the hallway observing my mom's warm welcome.

"No one thought to invite me to this Kodak moment?" he said sarcastically wearing a huge grin.

"Oh Emmett! It's so good to see you!" She cried out happily attacking him with nurturing hugs.

Alice and Emmett may be siblings through adoption but Renee was very much like a step-mother to them. The word adoption had faded as a label over the years, only used when people were interested in the technicalities of Charlie being a single parent of three children all the same age; and we certainly weren't triplets. We were all still family and which included Renee. However much she may gallivant across the United States with her minor league player boyfriend Phil, she never forgot about her three favourite children back in Forks.

"You look wonderful Renny. Glowing even." Emmett threw in a compliment knowing my mother would get a kick out of it.

Alice and Emmett had taken to affectionately calling her Renny instead of Renee. She felt Renee was too formal and barely even let me call her mom. Of course I stuck with mom, or Renee but my siblings enjoyed the nickname too much.

"Well don't you know how to make a girl blush. Rosalie has got to have a huge ego with all the compliments you must shower her with." Renee replied pinching his cheeks proudly.

Both Alice and I rolled our eyes at the Rosalie comment. _Rosalie definitely had a huge ego but I doubt it had anything to do with Emmett._

He smiled meekly and chuckled at the sentiment. Any guy would love to think he had something to do with how good a girl felt about herself. Plus, I think Emmett probably took the comment as something to do with his sexual abilities although he'd never admit it publicly in front of my mother. The smirk grin on his face gave him away and I rolled my eyes again at Alice who had noticed the same thing.

During our silent conversation Renee went skimming over us with her eyes

"My goodness you all have changed since I was last here. If you keep up this pace Alice will be taller than us all in no time." She laughed at her own joke wrapping her arm around Alice's shoulder in an endearing gesture.

"Ha. Ha." Alice chortled, used to all the jokes poked at her height. "And when I am taller the first thing I am going to do is drop little bread crumbs onto your heads for all the short jokes because by then I will finally be able to see the tops of your heads."

We all laughed enjoying the lighthearted feel of the moment.

I reached to remove my mom's coat and pointed at the bags for Emmett to remove from the foyer and into the guest room.

"So mom, how was your flight?" I asked leading her into the living room while Emmett left with the bags.

"Bumpy as always." She explained. "I never seem to catch a break with the turbulence."

The three of us settled into the living room. Alice cuddled onto Charlie's lazy boy while my mom and I sat next to each other on the loveseat right beside it. I reached for a pillow remembering the visible patch of bruising exposed by my shirt, cuddled it to my chest and crossed my legs. First chance I got I would grab a pullover sweater.

"But enough about me Bellie, how are you guys anyways? How's school? Meet any cute boys?" Renee pestered with motherly charm nudging me gently. Alice and I shared a look between the two of us on the topic of cute boys.

_Yes mom I met a very cute boy to whom I am dating but am sort of not now because his friend almost raped me but I love said cute boy so I'm trying to figure out what to do._

"Um….hmm. Yeah there is a cute boy actually. Um." I sputtered out awkwardly trying to find the right words.

What followed was an awkward second. My mom's mouth opened as though to say something but she shut it waiting.

Looking to crush the awkward pause Alice interrupted with a story about some new pair of shoes and the new clothes she bought over the weekend. One thing the two shared in common was a weakness for shopping. My mom let what I started to say go and listened intently to the description of a shirt with frills here and buttons there. I excused myself citing a run to the kitchen for drinks and snacks.

I made a dash for my bedroom and pulled an old sweatshirt over my head and headed back into the kitchen gathering the goodies

"You going to tell her?" Emmett's voice from behind made me jump causing me to nearly drop a glass. I spun to meet his eyes noticing the sweater I'd thrown on to avoid any questions being raised.

"Eventually." I responded biting my lip at the probabilities of that conversation. "I just didn't want to overwhelm her right now after her flight and what not."

My brother was too observant not to catch the hesitant tone when I spoke. He knew I was lying and stretching the truth a little in hopes of avoiding the conversation all together. The look in his eyes told me he understood my reservations but then again I had to know better that she would find out eventually. This was Forks and people did a lot of talking. Plus, I don't think Charlie knew Alice had left out the little detail of my ordeal when she called my mom to take a trip down here. If I wasn't going to tell her then Charlie probably would and then things would definitely be blown out of proportion.

I sighed dropping my palm against the counter frustrated.

"It's better than her finding out from strangers in town that her daughter was the victim of assault." Emmett went on when I didn't say anything.

"I'm not a victim." I corrected him angrily. "I got cornered in an alley and that was it. Okay?"

"Okay." Emmett threw up his hands not wanting to argue.

"James was drunk and I was alone, he got a little aggressive and I wasn't strong enough to push him off of me. That's all." I said defensively wondering where all this pent of anger was coming from.

At my words, I saw Emmett's knuckles turning white with the stress of balling his fists. There was no movement to stop me from talking though. I was too far gone into my little rant I hadn't noticed it was the most I had talked about James and I since it happened.

"I'm not a victim. I was preyed upon but I am not a victim. I am not a victim." I repeated.

"No, of course not." Was all Emmett put in.

"I made it out. Just wrong place at the wrong time." I kept talking despite myself. "Things could have been so much worse. The alcohol made him stronger that's why I couldn't get away on my oen. It's not because I wanted it to happen. I was already upset and not thinking straight. It wasn't all that bad. It hurt, but only because he was pressing so hard."

At this point, I was rambling but didn't stop myself. Instinctively, my hands shot up to my chest where the bruises were and I stood there staring off into the distance getting lost in my thoughts.

"Bella? Bella. Back to Earth." Emmett said snapping his fingers in my face. I blinked at the intrusion but, when focused, I stared into my brother's eyes.

"I'm really okay aren't I?" I questioned. "I have nothing to be ashamed of, right?"

"Of course not Bella." Emmett smiled closing the gap between us and enveloping me in a hug of which was neither of pity nor sympathy. It was a brotherly hug to calm me and assure me I would fine.

And for the first time since Edward's party I did feel fine.

Thinking about James didn't give me chills or make me nervous. The thought of being alone didn't make me want to curl into myself. And being this close to Emmett, who had the nasty habit of sneaking a cigarette now and then, didn't disgust me to smell the lingering smoke on his t-shirt.

I smiled into his chest and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Well isn't this a sweet sight." Renee said entering the kitchen with Alice. "Glad to see you guys not down each other's throats."

Emmett and I laughed the hug off.

"Need some help?" she asked.

"Umm. Sure. Thanks mom." I replied.

"Alice was just telling me about Jasper. Gosh they have been together a long time. And Rosalie and Emmett." My mom giggled at some distant memory. "Who knew such a sweet girl would tame our little Emmett over here?" She finished gently resting her hand on his cheek proud and caught up in all the young love.

I was starting to feel very alone right now and all this relationship praise wasn't helping.

"Looks like we're headed for two weddings sometime in the near future." Renee winked making Alice blush more out of sympathy for me than embarrassment at her getting married one day. Alice definitely wanted to get married some day.

Emmett puffed his chest out dismissing the notion as though he had any control over whether or not he and Rose were getting married. If Rose wanted to get married they would get married and Emmett would be helpless to deny her.

"Yeah." I answered turning to the sink feeling left out of the happiness.

"Everything alright?" I heard my mom question from behind where I stood.

"Everything's fine." I tried to sound convincing.

"Hmmmm. I don't believe you but I'll let it go for now. I'm just so happy to be with you guys." My mom said kissing my head and exiting the kitchen with the drinks.

My eyes stared at the kitchen counter a little angry with myself for being dishonest with her.

Time seemed to pass quickly as we demolished the snacks and drinks with vigor prompting another trip into the kitchen. This time it was to put everything away so we could sit and mellow out with our satisfied bellies.

I gathered up the dirty dishes and headed back into the kitchen refusing to let my mom help clean up. Emmett followed after me leaving Alice alone with Renee again in the living room. Right now, I was too lazy to do all the dishes so I haphazardly arranged them in the sink for completion tomorrow morning.

_"How was I going to explain not going to school to my mom?" _I thought to myself.

Maybe I should fake a cold and let her baby me for a day while I worked on finding the right time to speak to her.

There was little time to think when Alice and Renee joined Emmett and I in the kitchen. Renee refused profusely to let us do all of the cleaning. We ended up cleaning the kitchen together as a family with Alice cracking jokes and Emmett attempting to be funny; which was a failed attempt.

No one noticed Charlie standing in the doorway to the kitchen until the sight of him startled Renee and she let out a loud gasp. The first few seconds when my parents saw each other were always a little awkward but once they overcame that initial stage it was pretty much smooth sailing.

"Hi Dad." I greeted him raising my eyes cautiously looking back and forth between them trying to hint about Renee's lack of knowledge on the whole James front.

"Nice to see you Renee." Charlie greeted my mom.

"Nice to see you too Charlie." My mom replied, "The kids feeding you well?"

Charlie sniggered at my mom's joke. It was no secret that Charlie wasn't a master in the kitchen. Alice, Emmett and I took over cooking duties when our father deemed us old enough to go near a stove. Before then it was mainly diner food or home cooked meals with the Denali's and other families in the neighbourhood; benefit of being Police Chief.

As soon as I got the chance to pull my Dad aside I warned him Renee was still in the dark about things. I promised I would tell her as soon as I was comfortable. Thankfully my Dad let it go and did not push it.

With all the pleasantries out of the way, everyone said their goodnights and went to bed.

***

I slept dreamless that night, appreciative of the lack of dark spots under my eyes from lack of sleep when I got up the next day.

When I woke in the morning, I found my mom humming and dancing along to the radio with Alice cooking what appeared to be a meal for ten rather than the five of us. The scene in front of me brought the brightest grin to my face. Once my mom saw me lurking the doorway she pulled me in and twirled me around encouraging me to join in. I politely declined after stubbing my big toe on the initial pull into the twirl.

I took my seat at the table laughing and enjoying my mom's style of cooking. Or really, Alice cooked while my mom helped with this and that keeping busy with all the humming and dancing.

Even Charlie broke into a smile watching his daughter and ex-wife boogie along together to the classics*.

He took a seat next me and leaned in whispering. "Honey, I hate to bring this up but I'm going to need you to come down to the station this afternoon. You're going to have to identify James for the investigation and give a statement. We need to sort out all the charges and those include you if you decide you want to press charges."

My orange juice tasted bitter the second he brought the subject of James up. It's not like I didn't know there would be police stuff to take care of but I sort of stayed in denial about that part. I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to do.

_Now I would really have to tell my mom._

"It's okay Dad. I get it. This afternoon huh?" I asked.

"Yup. You going to be okay?" He asked wearing a look of concern.

I hadn't yet been able to talk to him about it either. Of course he knew the sordid details already so he could wait for me to initiate the conversation myself.

"Mmmhm. I'll be fine." I answered honestly.

Charlie ruffled my hair affectionately. I was glad he didn't push for details after I decided against it. Even if we never talked about it I understood he would always be watching me closely to make sure it wasn't affecting my daily life.

"I guess I should tell mom huh?" I exhaled looking at my mother so happy gliding around the kitchen. It was a pretty image so I took it in before I shattered it by telling her.

"Hey mom." I called.

"Yeah, sweetie?" she replied stopping her dance mid stride.

"There's something I need to tell you." I said without sounding too grave but remaining serious.

All but Emmett were in the kitchen to hear what I had to say. I took a deep breath and started realizing I was killing three birds with one stone.

Surprisingly, my mom didn't freak out shouting or anything. She turned into a quietly serious parent listening to everything I had to say. Her face didn't give much away as I spoke.

When I pulled off my sweater to show the bruises I watched a look of horror wash across both my parents faces. This was the first time anyone besides Alice and Edward had seen any of the bruising. Emmett joined us in the middle of my little exhibition and perked up surprised when he looked at the bruises from the doorway.

There were no tears, or tense feeling as I described that night to my family.

I couldn't tell by my mom's facial expressions how she was taking it all. Everyone else wore a calm sympathetic look while I talked. It was only after she hugged me for a good ten minutes I was certain her reaction had completely obliterated the one I imagined.

There were small tears forming in the corner of her eyes when my mom held me at arms length looking me over. The most important thing, she told me, was I came out alright.

And I had.

It wasn't awkward anymore to wear my shirt and have a little bit of the bruise exposed. Nor was it awkward to have this big pink elephant in the room anymore.

_Thank Goodness._

I actually smiled when I was done talking. More of an encouraging smile than anything else. To break the serious atmosphere Alice turned the radio back on and resumed singing and cooking and it was like it never happened.

My mom even accompanied me to the Police Station that afternoon. She was unbelievably calm and it kind of scared me a bit. This wasn't the reaction I anticipated. If I had any idea she would take it in stride I wouldn't have worried so much about coming clean.

_It was almost weirder than the night in the alleyway._

I was a little nervous waiting for things to get underway. I hadn't even decided whether I wanted to formally charge him or not. All the legal details didn't seem worth it. There was still the underage drinking portion of his conviction he couldn't escape. Maybe that was enough?

The clocks ticked by painstakingly slow. I circled the rim of my coffee cup in my hands with my finger bored. Renee sat quietly thinking to herself, waiting to get this over with as much as I wanted too.

A familiar voice caught my attention and I jerked my head up to match a face to it. My heart gave a little leap to see Edward walking towards my mom and me. Renee noticed my perked up posture and followed my gaze to the handsome boy staring back at her daughter.

_Well this is an interesting place for my boyfriend to meet my mother._ And the word boyfriend came so easily to my thoughts.

"Hi Bella." Edward's velvet voice said cautiously waiting to assess my reaction.

"Hi Edward." I responded feeling a smile twitch at the corner of my lips.

I stood up to meet his eyes on the same level. My mom followed standing with me waiting to be introduced.

"Edward, this is my mom Renee, mom this is Edward." I introduced, "My boyfriend."

The biggest smile swam across his face at being introduced as my boyfriend as opposed to a guy from school. I didn't look at my mom to see her reaction but she greeted him graciously enough while I kept my eyes locked on his.

"He's the one who found me in the alley." I continued.

"Oh. Well I guess I owe you a thank-you then Edward." Renee replied. "Thank-you."

She extended her hand in his direction which he took without hesitation uttering a modest reply in return. Renee couldn't help her gratitude and hugged him tightly to show how thankful she was on my behalf. I coughed a little embarrassed but Edward made no sign of being uncomfortable.

"Bella. How are you?" Dr. Cullen's voice sang from behind Edward. A petit figure stepped out from behind the two men wearing a polite grin.

"Dr. Cullen. Mrs. Cullen. Good." I answered. "How are you?"

"Well. It's really nice to see you again albeit I wish under different circumstances." Carlisle added looking around the Police Station a little grim. I was sure they didn't know the extent of the events from Edward's party beyond where James' were concerned. I wondered if they had noticed a change in my relationship with their son.

Esme stood at her husband's side with a majestic quality only known to mythical creatures. No one knew how she kept such a wonderful complexion in such a dreary town like Forks.

I all but forgot my mom standing next to me until Carlisle had acknowledged her presence.

"You must be Bella's mother. I'm Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father. This is my wife Esme." Carlisle began his own introductions.

"Wonderful to meet you." Esme's angelic voice replied.

"As with you." My mom answered with a smile.

"Bella. Edward. We're going to need you two now." Charlie said directing us toward the holding rooms. Both our parents were forced to wait outside much to their objections.

I started walking toward the door with Edward keeping pace. I took a deep inhale of breath and paused.

"It'll be okay." Edward whispered.

And then I felt his hand snake into mine. The contact seemed so fluid and natural that I didn't protest. The feel of his hand mingled with mine sent an overwhelming feeling of safety through me.

"Bella Swan. Edward Cullen. I am Detective Clearwater. We are going to record this conversation for police records and as evidence should it prove beneficial in the future." The detective said formally barely meeting our glare from the folder in his lap.

"We understand Mr. Cullen, you reported an incident involving underage drinking to Police Chief Swan. Is that correct?" he went on looking redundant.

_Edward was the one who called Charlie? _

"That is correct." Edward answered truthfully sending me look in the process. "I called Chief Swan when I noticed that alcohol had caused James to become aggressive. I thought it was the right thing to do."

He had turned in his own friend. Well, I don't know how friendly they were going into the party, what with all Edward had told me about their relationship. I found it an admirable quality that he finally stood up to James instead of cleaning up his messes and letting him get away with stuff.

"And what happened after you called Chief Swan?" Clearwater asked.

"I left the party looking for Chief Swan's daughter." Edward told him. "James, I knew, couldn't have gone far in the state he was in so I didn't worry about where he was at this point."

"Why were you looking for Ms. Swan?" I heard the detective ask while I stared down at the floor.

"We had gotten into a bit of a disagreement. She was upset at me after James, who was looking for trouble, tried to break us up." Edward explained.

"Are you and Miss Swan a couple?" The detective followed up looking up finally from his papers.

Edward looked at me before answering and I nodded my head at him to answer honestly.

"Yes. We are a couple." He finished.

"You found Ms. Swan then? Could you tell me what happened when you did?" The pudgy detective went on questioning.

"James had Bella pressed up against the wall. I immediately intervened and a physical altercation followed. I managed to subdue James until Chief Swan arrived." Edward said. His words seemed formal and emotionless but I knew it was only because the memory was too bitter to remember with ease. Also, because I knew Edward blamed himself for what happened as though he were just as responsible as James.

I knew it was ridiculous because as upset as I was at him for what happened at the party, none of it was because of James. At least not since Edward showed up at my door and I realized this fact. As a comforting gesture I grazed my hand on Edward's knee and he looked at me catching my hand in his and resting it there on his knee.

"Thank-you Edward. Now Ms. Swan, James will already be charged with underage drinking. He'll be slapped with a five hundred dollar fine since no alcohol was found on his persons. And since there have been allegations of physical assault where you are concerned we need to know if you will be pressing charges." I was informed by Detective Clearwater now anxiously biting my lip.

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Part of me wanted to go through with the charges but a bigger part of me wanted to just forget it happened and go back to a normal life.

"Ms. Swan. We are going to need an answer." The voice of the detective interrupted my thinking.

"Can I see him?" I asked not answering his questions. "Can I see James?"

"If that is what you want, we can arrange it. Stay here and I'll get things set up." And with that, the detective left the room and I let out a deep exhale of breath.

"Bella, What are you doing?" Edward asked curiously from beside me.

"I want to make sure it's worth it to go through all these legal obstacles over something that wasn't really a big deal."

My words left Edward stunned and his eyes were wide with surprise that I had called it 'no big deal'. He shook his head confused trying to decipher where my change of heart came from.

"Look, things happened so fast that night. My emotions got the better of me. Now, with time I've come to look at the situation in a completely different light. It wasn't as bad as it could have been and I overreacted mostly because I was so upset at you for everything that had been said." I started to clarify hoping to ease his confusion. "It could have been much worse but I don't think James really wanted to hurt me. I think he was looking to hurt you mostly. It just so happened I was the one thing he knew he could hurt you with, and no surprise, it worked."

Edward still seemed taken aback by my words ruffling his hair with his hands as if trying to shake out the confusion himself.

"It's not that I'm not taking any of this seriously but you said it yourself; you want James and Victoria out of your life. That won't happen if we're stuck with legal obligations and court dates and all that jazz." I said now holding his hand in both of mine comforting us both.

"I've had so much time to think in the past few days, even with my mom flying in and what not I've gotten to think about things enough to know I just want everything to go back to normal. You and me normal." I pleaded with my eyes and it looked as though he were starting to come around.

Seconds went by with silence. Both of us, looking at the other, speaking with our eyes rather than our voices. The comfortable silence which had befallen us before had returned and we were in tune to the other's thoughts and emotions once again.

"If it's what you want." he started, "I can't deny it too you. But one question."

Edward lifted my hand to his lips grazing my knuckles with his lips sending shivers up my arm.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" Edward asked quirking his eyebrow.

"I wouldn't call it forgiving but I'm sure as heck forgetting." I returned his question. "Just give me time for that."

He nodded his head understanding. I squeezed his hand in mine and we sat in more comfortable silence waiting for Detective Clearwater to return.

Not to long after the door opened allowing a breeze to flow through the stuffy room.

"You're in luck Ms. Swan, he is still in holding until his parents fly in. If you'll come with me I can take you." The Detective offered.

I stood up at his offer tugging at Edward to follow along.

"If I'm going to face him, you're going to as well. You need to tell him how you feel." I told Edward who seem precarious at my suggestion.

He followed along not objecting verbally but the slight slouch in his shoulders told me he wasn't looking forward to it. As much as Edward talked about this moment, I don't think he thought it possible to face James after what he put everyone through.

Detective Clearwater led us past our parents who looked bewildered when they saw us walking toward the holding cells. I eyed my mom to let her know things were fine watching her let go of the anxious breath I knew she had been holding. Carlisle and Esme looked on patiently as we continued walking deeper into the police station.

Finally the Detective stopped us in front of an occupied cell. "You have visitors." he said.

The figure in the cell swiveled around eyes wide with surprise to see Edward and I standing outside of the metal bars. James stood up at our arrival smiling deviously at the scene presenting itself in front of him.

"Well, well, come to bust me out then?" James spoke sarcastically.

"You're an asshole." I said bluntly.

"Ouu. Feisty. I like them feisty." He said licking his lips making me cringe.

"Really? I thought you just liked them drunk enough not too resist?" Edward put in getting defensive.

James let out a malicious laugh showing almost no remorse for what he'd done. If it hadn't been for the dirty clothes and bags under his eyes I would think he enjoyed being in a cell by himself. His appearance gave away how uncomfortable James was but he kept up his facade and played the bad guy.

"Finally Edward Cullen grows a backbone huh? Who knew?" James replied messing up his already tangled locks.

"You're a huge fucking asshole James. A really huge fucking lucky son of a bitch." I spat at him. Edward looked a little shocked at my use of the English language but kept his surprise to himself.

"I'm not pressing charges for our little rendezvous in the alley because your pathetic ass doesn't deserve another second of my time. Enjoy this cell James, one day you'll have your very own for a very long time." I threatened. James wasn't worth any more of my time and I wanted to leave but there was one more thing that needed taking care of.

I looked at Edward encouraging him to get what he needed too off his chest. Edward blinked acknowledging me and inhaled deeply stepping closer to James in the cell.

"If it were up to me I'd have your ass splattered on that alley for what you did. But since you're already an idiot I'm sure someone else will get the pleasure instead. All your stuff is here for when you get out, and when you do I don't exist to you." Edward spoke gritting his teeth in pent up aggression.

James flinched slightly and I saw, for a split second, what looked like it could be a look of remorse. At the very least I think James felt something concerning losing Edward as a friend. It's not as though he had many anyways. I had no idea what happened to Victoria after that night. She had been smart enough not to contact anyone.

James was his own punishment and I didn't have to worry about him anymore. He was gone.

Edward turned to walk away without a word leaving behind a speechless James.

We met our parents in the waiting area where we had left them. My mom hugged me to her side happy to see me come out looking okay.

I caught sight of the detective and stopped him.

"Detective Clearwater." I called.

"Yes. Ms. Swan." He answered.

"I'm not pressing charges. Do you need me to say that on record?" I asked.

"Nope. Just sign here." He said pushing a folder toward me.

I took the pen he extended to me and signed on the line he highlighted. I signed away any connection to James for good.

Now my life could go back to normal again.

I walked back to where everyone was still waiting, my dad included and smiled. Edward draped his arm around me and I couldn't resist the need to press myself into his side to feel his solid figure next to me.

"How about we all get some lunch?" Carlisle offered.

"I am starved." Renee said clasping her stomach in an exaggerated motion.

We all laughed in agreement.

Even Charlie took some time to join us.

Everyone filed out of the station, me and Edward tagging behind. I snaked my arm around the middle of his back smiling to myself.

"It's good to be back." He said simply.

"It sure is." I said agreeing with him.

He brought us to a stop piercing me with his topaz stare. Edward lowered his head so his lips were level with mine and pressed his lips to mine hard and full of passion. I returned the kiss forcefully oblivious to anyone but the two of us. This is what I had wanted most from the past few days, his lips against mine, his body solid pressed into mine.

I was still oblivious of the crowd until I heard a manly voice clear their throat. My cheeks turned an instant red when I realized the voice belonged to Charlie.

Edward and I immediately pulled apart embarrassed both blushing and caught up with our parents.

_It sure was good to be back._

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_**A/N: *All My Loving - The Beatles.**_


	13. Author's Note

Author's Note:

It's been awhile since I posted an update last. Just so you know, the story isn't dead. I've had one serious case of writer's block and things have been been busy so I don't have the same amount of time to dedicate to continuing with the story.

I've taken a bit of an impromptu hiatus with the story I'd guess you'd call it. But I am planning on getting the story to some conclusive end. It just took me awhile to admit to myself that I needed the break before I told you guys.

I'm sorry for the long wait.

Thanks for being patient.


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